Glazer: Chiefs Brass Futures Safe But Boring , Fans Pay the Price

Chiefs general manager Scott Pioli has it all figured out…

Make the play-offs here and there – even if you lose in Game One or game Two – and you’ll have a job in Kansas City forever.

Our top pro teams, the Chiefs and Royals, can’t even spell the word "championship," so just makin the post season is totally swell. In fact, with the Royals, winning half their games is something worth considering having a parade over.

Yes sir, we are NUMBER TWO!!!

Pioli and coach Romeo Crennel see it this way: They’ve got nice jobs, why not keep ’em a few years?

Clark Hunt‘s got no real balls and doesn’t know much about football so yeah, he’ll keep ’em if they can just get to the playoffs for God’s sake. So our two fearless leaders went all out this season to make sure the Chiefs might win 9 – hell maybe even 10 or 11 games – Go Chiefs!

Our defense looked good the last six games, right? Hell we shut down the Packers and the Bears. We even slowed down the Steelers. What more do you guys want? 

So all we need to do is find a large, I mean really large, guy to hold down the nose tackle spot. Hey look, we got one, Dontari Poe out of Memphis. His stats are, well, awful – no sacks to speak of, one or two tackles a game – second team all league with Shawnee Mission South.

However Poe is huge, at 6’4" and 350, so he could plug that hole.

So we’ve got two sackers, Tamba Hali and Justin Houston. That’s enough to go with our strong pass D, led by the injured Eric Berry and crew. And let’s see, we have who on the D line? Oh yeah, nobody. But that’s OK, we’ve got Derrick Johnson and those linebackers. 

So it looks like with chunky added to the equation we can stop most teams. Provided our defense leaves the field at some point. Because we’ve got this offensive problem, like we AIN’T GOT ONE!

But, shhhhhhhhhh, that’s a secret.

We have MATT THE FRANCHISE ready to be as average as possible.

He was a pilgrim in a high school play back in the 90’s…nobody noticed him then either. We got Jamaal Charles coming off his ACL – like that’s going to be a sure thing. And we added a couple other off-season guys that didn’t start much, but they’re me on that one.

We did get a couple offensive lineman, one might be second string his first season. That sounds awesome. 

And hey, according to Pioli, we don’t really have any holes. Unless you look at what to this point has been one of the league’s worst starting quarterbacks for the past three seasons. And we’ve got Dwayne Bowe...except he hasn’t signed yet. Not to worry….we’ve got John Baldwin.…and he’s on fire….

So yeah, if it all works out we might – I mean might – get everybody all excited and slip into the wild card at 9-7 or 10-6…that is if all goes well. And don’t worry, it’ll be a road playoff loss so you won’t have to buy an extra ticket for the Post Season….sounds pretty hot, huh?

"We are building for the future…don’t forget that" Like we have been for a lifetime….

Where’s that Pete Beathard guy?  Our number one pick in 1964. He was a quarterback…it was amazing…he was the future.

Look out New England, here come the Kansas City Chiefs and our FUTURE.
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8 Responses to Glazer: Chiefs Brass Futures Safe But Boring , Fans Pay the Price

  1. chuck says:

    Glaze, the draft grades given by ESPN and all sports
    media types, usually are about 1/2 right after a couple of years. Really.

    Don’t mistake me, it’s fun to guess who they will draft—–

    chuck 08:25:57 PM – Tue. Mar 20. 2012

    When the Donkeys got Manning, it meant the Chiefs take Dontari Poe to tie up the middle of the offensive line and free up Hali and Houston. ”

    but, it is such a crap shoot.

    The Chiefs, are in fact a loser organization, but I am not sure what they could have done any better this year. Grabbing Eric Winston was a HELL OF BIG deal. I think the offensive line this year will be a real strength and the running game will grind the OTHER guy’s defense, not ours. We will consistantly have more time with the ball, and be able to score in the 4th quarter.

    Any and all predictions, with regard to the NFL, are based on injuries first. It is always an “All things being equal” bet, that everyone understands can destroy any prediction. I understand that the Packers won it all with a ton of injuries, and the Pats did pretty well the year Brady went down, but we ARE NOT those teams. We are a team, that if not destroyed with the injury bug, like last year, should do pretty well. 10 Wins. Thats it. Thats ok, becsue there was NO QB we could grab.

    If he ain’t there, he ain’t there.

    The schedule is ttougher, in my opinion, than most folks I have talked to think.

    Atlanta–With the addition of Asante Samuel, they win their division, we win a close game here.

    At Buffalo- We get killed. This team will be imporved dramatically and always plays tough early.

    At New Orleans-Toss up, we could steal one here, the team lost a ton of guys, Vilma is slipping, the organization is a mess.

    San Diego at KC-We win, home field.

    Baltimore at KC–I think this team is slipping. Ray is old, Ed is old, we should win it. Yeah, thats what I said.

    KC at Tampa Bay.–They were terrible last year, I think maybe the leagu has figured out our local boy Josh Freeman. We win.

    Oakland at Kansas City–we win. Fuck Oakland, I’m not even bothering to splain it Lucy.

    Kansas City at San Diego-We lose.

    Kansas City at Pitsburgh.–They will be average this year, we could steal this one too. Thats right, I said that.

    Cincy at Kansas City-we lose, this team wins the AFC North.

    Denver at KC–I think we win. As an old man with bad arthritis, I can tell ya, a sore neck is a serious problem.

    DERRICK JOHNSON: “Hey Peyton, LOOK!! Haley’s Comet!!!”


    Carolina at KC-we win, but Newton is good.

    Kansas City at Cleveland.–We win, Trent R gets 95 yards.

    Kansas City at Oakland- We win. They still suck.

    Indy at KC.–We win and Don’t Suck for Luck.

    KC at Denver-we lose, it’s Denver on the road.

    There ya go, 10 or 11 games might get us a home field game.

    CARL PETERSON: “Glazer, I am tellin ya, if we get in the tournament, anything can happen.”

    Take heart! It’s early!


  2. Craig Glazer says:

    Chuck Good Breakdown
    I’m not sure we will win 13 like this shows, but yeah the Chiefs should be a better team this year….I’m still concerned about their offense…ddi we do enough to have at least an average offense? Yes the line is improved for sure, Boss maybe an upgrade as well, and Hillis should be an upgrade from the entire backfield last season…he might be our main back if Charles can’t go…so yeah its better…and our Defense might be great…we’ll see…I hope you are right…that would be so much fun.

  3. chuck says:

    Fingers crossed! It would be great for the city!

  4. smartman says:

    Win, Lose, Die
    Chuck, you’re not suggesting a decline in the murder rate and a lessening of stupidity at City Hall with a 13 win season are you? Hear me now and believe me later. These gals will be 8-8 at best and I see them at 6-10 barring some sort of improvement at GM or QB between now and opening day. Matt Cassel knows in his head that he’s a failure and dismal excuse for a QB. Doesn’t matter what his legs or arm can do. When your synapses don’t fire like a Ferrari 458 and your balls don’t swell like Big Daddy Don Garlits slicks during a burnout when you’re under center you are useless in the NFL.

    What would be great for the city would be for idiots like Sly James and Airick West and the morons that voted for them to move to KCK or the OP where their “skills” will be more greatly appreciated.

  5. chuck says:

    Dope springs eternal.
    Can’t help it, I love Rom Coms too.

  6. balbonis moleskine, always bets on black says:

    I am here to post a prediction:

    KC 10-6, wild card in the AFC West.
    Chargers take the division (Oh noooo ESPN doesnt like Philip Rivers)
    Broncos miss the playoffs at 8-8/9-7

    Posting now so I don’t pull a Glaze and try to submit my prediction after the first games have been played (hello bowl predictions)

    I’ll accept as a prize VIP tickets to Stanfords next time there is an insult comedian playing there.

  7. Craig Glazer says:

    OK and HUH?
    Not sure what game you think I called after it ran, unless the post was late going up….but yeah if you pick this right you have a deal..though I am this year pulling for the Chiefs with NO season bet on them…why? Their magic number is 9 and that is about right so I don’t like the over or under…on them anyways….you can have those VIP to a show if Chiefs are wild card and Chargers win division…

  8. Brisbane Craddock says:

    Chiefs Fans
    Whatta buncha jock sniffers!

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