Glazer: Brace Yourselves, the Return of Black Barbie to Scribe’s Romantic Fold

Joe Rogan had a hit single called "Voodoo Punanny"…

It’s a comedy song about not being able to stay away from a hot chick that’s simply not good for you, but the sex is too strong to stay away.  In my case in recent years that person has been BLACK BARBIE.

I met her just after my divorce. Hearne and I were at the Police concert at Sprint and I got a call from Temptations manager David Rice. The strip club was nearby and he said, "Craig I got a 10 – a 19 year-old stripper from Texas. And I showed her your photo online and she went crazy. She loves Al Pacino and thinks you look like him. Come over and meet her NOW!"

Maybe owning Stanford’s, driving a hot car and having a book out didn’t hurt either.

When I walked in and saw her, she stood nearly six feet tall. She had an unreal body, was very pretty, exotic and, in a strange way sweet, always smiling and soft.

Anyways…IT WAS ON!

We dated for real – if you can really date a dancer – for nearly a year. She moved near to me, stopped dancing and then…hey she was 19…what are you gonna do?

It had no future – just too many negatives, the obvious – but boy we had some fun.

Then just after New Year’s 2010 it kinda died. We went back to our normal lives, me doing what I do, her back to dancing. She came to the club once to see Carlos Mencia, but that was about it….

I think most of you guys can relate.

Girls have had their bad boys too, but I did miss her.

Then it happened.

A week ago Barbie called and said please come to the club and see me.

I really don’t like strip clubs much. I’ve dated dancers and that wild type for years, even in LA. But I met almost all of them at bars or parties or my club, not in a strip joint. That usually never works, but this one kinda did.

Barbie told me her boyfriend just got 20 years (what a surprise) and would I give her a second chance.

So I took her to Stanford’s this past weekend and saw the Crank Yankers. Then we went to the new Hollywood Casino – it’s a fun place and was packed – and we met up with Johnny Dare (who also thinks Barbie’s a hot dish, he met her with me at Rock Fest couple years back).

Johnny had his group – he gets mobbed by fans everywhere for photos and autographs, even there – and the comics came up as well so we all had a fun time. And that damn Dare wins even at slots…go figure. We all won a few bucks.

I took Barbie back to my place afterwards and even my dog Junior was glad to see her….

Will this be Voodoo Punanny part Two?

Stay tuned, I’m sure this will lead to some real headaches. Some times you know better but you can’t stay away.

Hey, we only live once.

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15 Responses to Glazer: Brace Yourselves, the Return of Black Barbie to Scribe’s Romantic Fold

  1. harley says:

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    bad.

  2. harley says:

    sorry…hit wrong button
    glaze…her boyfriends doing 2o years…for what? 20 years from now…WATCH OUT…so you’ll be 80 years old..
    no big deal….because the guys gonna come looking for you.

  3. bschloz says:

    Serpico
    So you’ll bring Barbie over for Seder this year. Its all good!

    Watched KU MU over at Hollywod…fun time in the sports bar—- casino though is a mouse house…hit and run only.

  4. Craig Glazer says:

    Yep She Is Jewish
    hah

  5. Janice Woods says:

    Why
    do you always look like you’re drunk and humping these girls – who look like they just wish you’d go away. You’ve just turned into (maybe always were?) a creepy OLD dude. What a disappointment you’ve turned out to be.

  6. devils advocate says:

    Great News!
    Glazer…this could really work. Just so you know, Chubby Checker actually has a Hava Nagila single. I think it is called the “Hava Nagila Twist” So you can kind of meld the Black Barbie side, with the Glazer Jewish side, and you have the perfect wedding song for you two! In fact i bet Chubby is never busy, and is probably cheap. Couple that with any Sammy Davis Jr tune (the candy man, mr bojangles, etc…) and you are getting the whole Black and Jewish thing going. But why stop there! Lenny Kravitz is Jewish, (that will help with a younger crowd) so is Drake (even younger) so is some rapper named Shyne (i saw that he was incarcerated, and involved in a shooting, so now you are starting to look like a Jewish BADASS!!!) I havent seen too many more Black/Jewish…(or Jewish/Black…i don’t want anyone to get upset)…….(that redneck mike could be reading this)…..might as well just get married……………..Mazel Tov!!!

  7. expat says:

    Glazer meant to put this on Facebook but posted here by accident. Give him a break he’s old and hasn’t got the hang of technology yet: he still thinks his shoe is his cell phone.

  8. mike says:

    to d.a.
    I’m not upset. I’m laughing so hard that I’m about to fall out of my chair. I still think you should get up on stage. Think about it. With all your talent and comic genius, it is ashamed you are living in a trailer park with 8 dogs. You could get all your cars off of the blocks they are sitting on with all the money you would make. You could even buy your wife a new pair of overalls.

  9. Craig Glazer says:

    Facts Play Nice Or Be Gone Again
    Look we blocked you for a week, next time it will be a month dude, we know you are almost 90% of all the hate mail, you can make negative comments, its fine, just watch the language o.k. More crazy comments mean bye bye time again. Thank you so much.

  10. ranger danger says:

    Worst Rug of All Time
    This is without a doubt, the absolute worst chunk of fake hair in the five state area. I thought Hollywood types like this buffoon had enough money to get grafts. You can put a pig in a Lotus, but he’s still a pig.

  11. RED FLAG says:

    RED FLAG
    “Barbie told me her boyfriend just got 20 years (what a surprise) and would I give her a second chance.”

    MAJOR, MAJOR RED FLAG.

    RUN!

  12. Fcats says:

    MIght as well REname this place glazer’s diary
    This article is garbage.

  13. Bob says:

    Not told
    You failed to mention the dildo and vibrator that you need to please her and you. You miss prison don’t you?

  14. Craig Glazer says:

    OK Bob, I Just Borrow Yours
    When needed I call my gay pals like you for help, so thanks.

  15. bob says:

    that was your
    come back? Disappointing like your erection time per many women.

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