Glazer: Scribe’s First Love & Peeping Tom Experience, The One That Got Away

We all had that ONE!

Remember, the first love. No, not the one you slept with first. The girl in your fifth or sixth grade class…that you fell in LOVE with. Remember?

They call it "puppy love," but I call it ‘the real thing – no love in life is ever stronger.

She stood 5′ 5," tall for a fifth grade girl. Her hair was jet black and she had the skin color of a Victoria Secret model before there were any. She was dark brown, always tan somehow. The face of a smiling angel. Her name was Janice Woods and all the boys at Briarwood were in love with this young lady.

That is, all the boys in our fifth grade class. Why wouldn’t you be? For God’s sake she was the fastest runner in the class (remember what a big deal?). She did her hair up daily, smelled like she might already be wearing perfume and she even had boobs. Damn, what else did you want guys? 

Did I mention the boobs?

Yep, everyone dreamed of Janice Woods – me included. Hell, I had no chance. Even our class president, Paul Trimble was in love with her. She sat near him at lunch, and in music class they always were square dance partners. 

I hated Paul Trimble’s guts.

Me and my best pal, Brooks Walters – his dad was so cool, he was a DJ on the radio, Bucky Walters – were all about the Woods Girl. We used to do sleepovers at his home in Round Hill because he lived by Janice. 

We’d sneak out real late at night, maybe 10 PM and go up to her bedroom window and look in. Once we even saw her in a nightgown and you could kinda see through it.

At school we’d pull her hair, throw spit wads near her in class – you know, so she’d know how much we loved her. Sadly, Janice never much looked my way. The year nearly went by and I never danced with her in music class. I was an average runner, so no luck hand holding on the playground either.

But then my time came. Yep. Our fifth grade teacher had us do speeches and I was really good at that. I got up in front of the class and killed it – was funny too. Everyone was laughing and the teacher said – and I’ll never forget – "Now doesn’t Craig look a lot like Tony Curtis, girls?"

Wow, Tony Curtis….

I even had my hair combed back like him and wore those V-neck sweaters. Guess what? Now she looked my way. Thank the Lord!

It happened. She picked me to dance with in music class the next day. My heart leaped. I was on Cloud 9. A week later I was riding my bike, a 10-speed of course, and saw her riding. I caught up and spent an hour talking to her.

Oh my God. I wanted to marry Janice Woods.

All I thought about was her, daily, nightly in my dreams. Maybe she liked me too now. So I got brave and on the playground I kissed her on the cheek. She smiled and hugged me. No kiss though. Yep, I was gonna marry Janice.

A few weeks later my family moved to the Shawnee Mission South school district and I had to change schools to John Diemer something or other. I was crushed. My true love was now far away. But I was sure I’d see her and kiss her again. I was so sure.

It never happened.

My first love, the puppy love of my life was gone forever.

In fact I never saw her again the rest of my life. It took nearly a year to get over. If only I’d had a car back then, I’d have found her and we’d have gotten married. Well, I thought that anyway.

We all had a Janice Woods and we all wonder whatever became of that special girl – the first one we kissed, the first girl we loved.

THE ROAD AHEAD WAS SHINING AND BRIGHT AND OUR FUTURE WOULD BE SO GREAT…for me and my gal, Janice Woods.

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14 Responses to Glazer: Scribe’s First Love & Peeping Tom Experience, The One That Got Away

  1. Smartman says:

    Congratulations
    Looks like you’ve graduated from the Joe Posnanski school of journalism with a masters in syrupy, irrelevant prose.
    What’s next, your first , first, second, third base and home run stories?

    How about the first time going to the doc and getting the swab jammed down your pee-hole only to find out it was a UTI and not the clap? Or maybe the finger up the ass to get you to spoogee on the slide.
    Remember that pre visit bargaining session with God about never having sex again if you don’t have the syph?

  2. Gayle says:

    WTF?
    I bet Janice Woods would get the icky-flu if she read this. And what guy says “sleepover”?

  3. bschloz says:

    Tony C
    Good story
    Glaze you should of asked her if she wanted to go steady with you. Given her your I.D. bracelet.

  4. NOT "scibe".... hetero male says:

    and glazer goes back to drivel/using gay moniker
    who fucking cares? not me…. classic stupid glazer drivel

    BYE!!!!

    ps
    “scribe” is the gayest sounding homo shit I have ever heard someone self descibe…. gay as shit
    maybe shoot some steroids in those wrist homoboy…… get rid of that limp… and the stupid moniker

  5. Craig Glazer says:

    Love The Haters
    I write this nice, fun, sweet story and these losers find a way to HATE on me still, what a bunch of punks huh? Just cause you guys have no dreams, no future, no past….let it go haters….try and remember that time in December, when life was Mellow and you were young…so try and remember that time….

  6. Janice Woods says:

    Craig, is that really you??!!?!?!
    I was surfing the internet here in Manchester NH and I couldn’t believe what I found.

    I always check the KC Star and the local blogs to see the news from my old home town. I always heard you were doing well. Its great to hear you had a soft spot in your heart for me all those years ago.

    Here is a pic http://www.peekyou.com/janice_woods/30959349 I will be back in Kansas City in March and will look you up. I am single now and would love to get to know you better!!!

  7. Craig Glazer says:

    Yep Its Me…
    Haven’t been able to bring photo up…will continue to try…yes its me. You were a very nice person as I remember, hope all is well.

  8. Smartman says:

    Hey Janice
    It’s not the soft spot in his heart you need to be worried about these days.

  9. Johnny says:

    YOU ARE STUPID
    You are so stupid to really think….” guys have no dreams, no future, no past” you dream that you are the only one with them? That is how you rationalize your continuing use of the gayest moniker anywhere…and the stupidies loser stories you write? You write crap and if people dont like it…. IT JUST HAS TO BE EVERYONE ELSE?, CUZ IT CANT BE YOU? really? you are that stupid?

    For 3 articles you were on track to becoming a writer…not a “homo/scribe” writing stupid drivel, but a real writer… I even complimented you…. but you got nuthin… you are an idiot…. the good stuff is the exception….. your drivel is the rule…. so back to you go back to your idiot ways, as expected….. and expect the suual bashing you moron.

    WHERE THE HELL IS MERMAID!!!!??????? LESS IDIOT GLAZER….. MORE MERMAID!!!!

  10. Smartman says:

    Seen Your Citizens?
    Janice’s bio says she’s 62 and 64 years old. If she was in your class Craig how can you be in your late 50’s? Admit it you’re starting to get old people smell.

  11. Craig Glazer says:

    Smartmonkey
    there are many listings for Janice Woods, age all over the place..20’s-70’s…I am not as sure as I was that the girl who said she was Woods is…nothing she left checked out…there was one Woods age 57..who might be her,don’t know…the comment left sounded real, and warm but who knows…it is kinda odd she would check this site if she lived in the East and wasn’t a personality that has her computor set on anything with her name on it…so yeah maybe not her…too bad..if its you Janice hit us back…either way she would be 56-58 today…as I am…its on google search Smartmonkey if you want to see my age…dim whit…hey if you looked like me, you might get laid once in a while, but you don’t…sorry…bye.

  12. Egg Grazer says:

    Puttin’ wood to Janice
    You’ve got to be kidding me … you actually thought that post was (probably) real?! What a PUTZ.

  13. Squirrel Zippers says:

    Really?
    Great story. I’m not sure why so many angry posters out there. I have those memories about my first girl and know that they are both wonderful and saddening at the same time.

    I feel sorry for the jerks that find joy and superiority in ridicule.

  14. JANICE WOODS says:

    1971 GRADUATE OF SMS, MARCHING BAND, ORCHESTRA AND GUN MOM
    I AM THE REAL JANICE WOODS, MARRIED AND GRADUATED IN 71, KNEW BROOKS WALTERS WELL. PLAYED IN THE MARCHING BAND, ORCHESTRA PLAYING FLUTE. YOU NEED TO LOOK AT THE YEARBOOK ON LINE.

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