Jolly: Hooters To Go, It’s Where Not to Eat!

God I love Hooters….

You know, the restaurant. And not just because of the T and A or the table service which is sometimes sub-par owing to the revolving door of semi-hot waitresses the chain is infamous for.

On a side note, I firmly believe that this restaurant chain is where many ex-strippers go after they stop being HOT, but retain some minimal customer service skills. I wouldn’t bring this up but, if you consider getting take out food there, you’ll see what I mean.

The ridiculous shorts, the scent of patchouli, the lack of actual hooters.

Apparently the economy has made it difficult for women who want to serve wings for a living to get breast implants.

But enough about why not to eat there, let’s talk about what Hooters does that’s great.

This place does take out food like a really good NASCAR pit crew. They’re fast, friendly, and you don’t have to watch 500 left turns. I walked in to order instead of calling in. The bartender was very friendly and hotter than any waitress I’ve ever had there. She offered me a cocktail while I waited, but thanks to previous poor decision-making and the wonderful city of Overland Park I opted for Diet Coke.

Some people tell me that I’m nuttier than a squirrel, but I think Hooter’s has the best wings in town.

And if you get them to-go, it totally makes up for all of Hooters other gimmicks and shortcomings. I ordered a dozen wings in hot sauce and 1 lb. of steamed shrimp. The wings here are very meaty and the sauce is great without being greasy or dripping all over your sofa. The shrimp always taste fresh and they are big and plump like the first boobs I ever saw in 7th grade.

Over all the food was great and traveled very well.

But here’s the catch when getting take out from Hooters; the condiments. They’ll ask you if you would like ranch or blue cheese. I said blue cheese, but you will only get ONE. Now I usually need more dressing than that to take some of the hot bite out of the sauce and complement the chicken.

The wings are great just the way they are at Hooters, but I still love to dip and ONE pre-packaged blue cheese isn’t going to get it. That’s like getting up in the middle of the afternoon and trying to get the last little bit of hair goop out of the jar but not quite having enough. So you just say, fuck it, and put on a hat.

If I can’t do it right, I don’t want to do it at all.

So always ask for more dressing at Hooters, but know that it will cost you another 50 cents per pack. I love celery with my wings, too, and that was also another 50 cents. The shrimp was amazing but you only get one cocktail sauce with it and the second is another 50 cents.

Eating shrimp without cocktail sauce is like having sex with your hand – good but it could have been better.

So I always get extra condiments, but I’m waiting for the day when they tell me it will cost $1.00 extra for the to-go bag. Or I can just carry the boxes to my car and bungee cord them to the passenger seat. I mean, I’ll probably pay the extra buck because hot sauce conflicts with my used car smell, but geez…

Another thing Hooters does great is when they present your order to you.

They take everything out of the soon-to-be-a buck bag and open every box for you to check that your order is correct and as advertised.

Great idea!!

More restaurants should take the time to do this. Take-out diners are a growing market and directly affect the revenue of a bar/restaurant. If an establishment screwed up a to-go order 10 years ago, they’d probably just have said, "Oops, sorry.”.

These days they can’t afford to take an order over the phone and screw things up It’s a great way to make your customers NOT want to return.

Plus when Hooters does show your order, it’s your opportunity to gauge whether you may want to UP the condiment count a little. Good Job Hooters!

My order was about $22.00 all in with all the extra dressings. I tipped her $4.00 for the great to-go service and I enjoyed every bite. Remember, restaurants in Kansas City – I’m watching you.

Hooter’s in Overland Park, KS. 4.0 out of 5.

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15 Responses to Jolly: Hooters To Go, It’s Where Not to Eat!

  1. harley says:

    I GIVE HOOTERS A…..10!
    some new talent on metcalf…usually take my vendors there…they’re married and to them its
    their excitement.
    Love the caribbean wings..and the breasts (lol)
    I was at opening day at metcalf when mike opened on metcalf…what a party…and even today
    when i go there i remember the wild times over back by glazes comedy club the things we did…
    if any one goes there for the food…its good…but the scenery is better.
    One girl there was in a movie with George Clooney shot in st. louis…
    how can you not love the girls…
    AND JOLLY…WHERE’S YOUR NEXT FOOD STOP…FOOD TO GO AT BONITA FLATS!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. bschloz says:

    Drummies Only
    Hooters To Go?
    Man that is such a sad picture…. For $26 I would sit at the bar and ask that they bring me 2 wings at a time.

    @harley lol — btw Tigers sure are fun this year! Love Dixon/Denmon All KC– maybe the humble scribe should write about them.

  3. Super Dave says:

    Either side of the highway will do
    Only thing to go from Bonita Flats is STD’s

  4. expat says:

    not a foodie
    This guy is like a one man Sysco advertising machine. Thanks for reminding me why KC’s food sucks!

  5. Fcats says:

    WTF? OK, NOW I AM CALLING BS IN THIS KCC TO GO BS
    OK, now I am starting to think this whole KCC to go thing is a joke. First, this jolly bozo goes (without callin ahead) to a busy busy restaurant, and waits and waits to place his order, only to get it to go???? and now he is telling us the food at Hooters is the main attraction… and he gets it to go?

    I am calling BS…. whomever said the other day that this whole idea of KCC TO GO was just hearnes way of ripping on Tim Finn is correct…… if it is not…and this jolly moron keeps this stupid shit up… he better get out his armor…. becasue he is in for a galzer style shit storm.

    NOBODY….no hetero, non gay man ….AND I MEAN NOBODY GETS HOOTER TO GO…. THAT IS THE STUPIDIEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER READ ON KCC….. and that includes all of idiot glazers total BS.

    CUT THE CLOMUN OR CUT THESHIT….OR GET READY.

  6. mike says:

    what this is like
    This is like the people that subscribe to Playboy for the articles. Do you also watch beauty contests for the talent show?

  7. mike says:

    by the way
    Do you also drive a New Beetle and hang out with the two dudes that are trying to buy Jardine’s?

  8. Merle Tagladucci says:

    When Michael Scott goes to Hooters he orders milk.

  9. BOBBA LUIE says:

    DOES HE…
    hang out with a guy who drives a FIAT?

  10. HARLEY says:

    I WARNED YOU JOLLY…THIS IS LIKE THE
    christians going into the arena to fight the lions with a garden hoe…
    they are about ready to anihilate you and your writing. Get out quick.
    They will destroy and last semblance of reality and self worth you have.
    LOOK WHAT ITS DONE TO GLAZE…
    he started writing for kcc as a humble…non assumming…low key…
    articulate…well meaning…man and NOW…
    HE’D BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF ANYONE WHO GAVE HIM TROUBLE..HE’S SO
    SURE HE’S THE GREATEST THING THIS SIDE OF BOLLYWOOD…HE WEARS
    GLASSES IN THE DARKEST OF DARK PLACES…HE PRIDES HIMSELF ON HIS
    BODY ALTHOUGH HE DOES NO SITUPS…HE’S ANGRY …RAGING…MAD…AND OUT
    OF CONTROLLLL…AND BEWARE IF YOU HIT ON HIS HOOKERS AND STRIPPERS…

    so jolly man…get out..or you could end up like…..GLAZE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Hearne says:

    Easy Fellas, live and let live…
    We can’t all eat at bluestem and Michael Smith night after night.

    Hey, in honor of Reid’s new column I ate at Red Lobster in Topeka last night and guess what? It kinda sucked.

    Now I know that’s gonna come as a shock to some of you. I mean, I knew I kinda blew it by not getting it to go and all. But I’m going to take it a step further and take my girlfriend out for a romantic Valentine’s feast tonight at…You guessed it, Hooter’s.

    Wish me luck!

  12. Hearne says:

    Hey, I needed it…
    If nothing else, KC Confidential is about checks and balances. And after ordering and trying to eat carryout at Hooters tonight, I would be remiss if I did not warn readers.

    Starting with, stay the eff away from the ribs. I asked my bartender if they were lean and she assured me that they were. Trust me, they’re not. I’ve never had ribs as fat as the ones at Hooters. And I can tell from the cut I didn’t get a bad batch.

    To be safe, I ordered some sliders as well. Just in case the ribs sucked, which they did.

    Well, I’m here to tell you my backup plan sucked as well. I felt like I was eating dog food and my girlfriend who can smell – I can’t – said they smelled awful. So thumbs down on the burgers at Hooters, too.

    The GF ordered Hooters boneless wings with the hot flavoring and they were…excellent. That was a first for me, so I batted one for three on the night. Actually, I was 0 for 2 – she was the one who got the wings.

    I won’t bore you guys with the vibe and the hottie math.

  13. harley says:

    the only things…
    the only things that are lean at hooters are the waitresses legs…
    the only things that suck at hooters are………..
    the only things that are big at hooters..are some of the fake tits..
    the only things that “slide” at hooters are the _________ into the girl’s __________!
    the only thing thats hot at hooters are some of the new talent they brought in from odessa.
    AND MOST IMPORTANTLY…THE ONLY THING THAT’S CHEAP IS…
    HEARNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    YOU CHEAP ASS M=F….RED LOBSTER ONE NIGHT..THEN HOOTERS FOR VALENTINES DAY….DO SOME TRADE..
    GO DOWN TO THE CITY UNION MISSION….BUT FOR GOD SAKE HEARNE BLOW A LITTLE CASH ON THE WOMAN..
    ANYONE WHO HANGS OUT WITH YOU.DESERVES A…..MEDAL!!!!! (LOL)

  14. Fcats says:

    Thats a good one
    Harley are you stupid? As someone pointed out last week this whole TO GO nonsense is imply hearnes way of insulting Tim Finn and his issues at the KC Star for something. The final piece of evidence is this Bullshit that hearne would take a date to Hooters. HELLO!!! HELLO!!! BUY A CLUE HARLEY….READ BETWEENTHE LINES…..NOBODY goes to a restaurant and waits 20 minutes and THEN orders take out…… NOBODY gets Hooter TO GO……… NOBDOY TAKES A DATE TO HOOTERS…..

    THis is all a sham…and hearne should ban his own fucking IP adress for posting such stupid shit making fun a a good man Tim Finn.

    HEARNE!!!!! YOUR IP ADDRESS IS HEREBY BANNED!!!!! (not that it is a big deal to get around that, it is more a “point making” tactic) SO CONDISER YOURSELF WARNED YOUNG MAN!!!! Dont fuck with Tim, come on man…

    AND….. MISTER!!!! WHERE WAS THE PROMISED MERMIAD VALENTINE YOU PROMISED!!!!

    hehehehehee 😉 jk….. but it is fun to SCREAM first thing in the morning…gets the blood moving.

    Fucking Hooters TO GO….. that is the funniest punch line of all time.

  15. Fcats says:

    HOW IT IS DONE BY CINDY HOEDEL AT THE KC STAR
    You wanna see what a REAL TO GO article looks like? go to the KC Star web site… here is a link

    http://www.kansascity.com/2012/02/15/3429369/review-joes-pizza-buy-the-slice.html

    As you can see this is a REAL article for REAL people, not some BS making fun of others.

    Cindy’s article gives us something, tells us something, gives us a good tip…..
    it is NOT some bullshit about paying fucking $30.00 for a fucking meal to go.

    We want to know whewre we can spend 5 bucks and get 2 slices and a drink at lunch.
    THANK YOU KC STAR AND CINDY HOEDEL

    jolly…. buy a clue monkey boy…

    hearne….shapen up and fly right young man 😉

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