I’ve always considered Red Lobster as the Aldi or Walmart of seafood restaurants…
Poor man’s sea food. They don’t serve the expensive, palate-pleasing fish such as monk, shark, or Chilian Sea Bass like the Bristol or Capital Grille. Instead they give you standard options like salmon, tilapia, and grouper. However they do come through bigtime in quality, portion size and value. And they care, which is hard to find these days for the hard-earned dollar.
I never call in a to-go order at Red Lobster because…
1. I like to decide when I get there because the menu is so vast.
2. And I like to see the bartenders make a thousand frozen drinks while waiting on people who don’t tip and have their tabs transfered to a table. Then I thank GOD I bartend where I do.
By the way, the bartenders at Red Lobster are the hardest working and most under appreciated MFer’s in the biz. I came in on a Sunday and it was busier than the free clinic after a NASCAR event. It draws a very diverse crowd too. I had to wait 20 min. just to find a seat at the bar to order take-out.
I didn’t really want to squeeze in between two people with marinara covered fingers and HUGE glasses full of strawberry something to say, ”May I place a to-go order?”. So I just waited it out. Trying to get a seat at this bar on a Sunday is tough – I felt like a midget waiting for a urinal. I had to be on my toes and ready.
Finally I got a seat and placed my order.
I ordered the New England Sampler, which is my favorite appetizer on the menu. It’s four bacon-wrapped scallops, fried clams, and four lobster-stuffed mushrooms. Mind-blowing. It tasted so good I wanted to put my dick in it.
I also got the wood grilled lobster, shrimp, and scallops that comes with two sides and a salad. I asked for broccoli, a baked potato, and a salad with blue cheese. Once again, it was very good.
For new readers, if I’m dining out at a restaurant I would probably order a bottle of something that ends in Rothschild and eat on a white tablecloth. Certainly not at Red Lobster. But for take-out, they do it right.
The lobster tail was cooked perfectly and came with plenty of melted butter. The scallops were well seasoned and melted in my mouth, much like my skewered shrimp. And do we even need to go over the cheddar biscuits? Don’t they go without saying? NO! They are always great. Eating one of those, the feeling is euphoric, like free basing bacon.
There are only three things that are so good that no one else can ever truly recreate them:
1. The Coke at any McDonald’s. It tastes better than Coke you get anywhere else.
2. The BJ’s from the last girl who dumped me.
3. And the cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster.
Three years ago my mom told me she’d gotten the recipe for these little nuggets of joy and would be recreating them on Thanksgiving. It was the worst family holiday dinner ever.
Don’t get me wrong, they were decent, but not the same as at Red Lobster. I wanted to kick my mom in the uterine area I was so disappointed. Needless to say, she never tried that recipe again.
Even the Bristol has tried in vain to make them…
Back to Red Lobster, my salad was good too, however it could have been put in a bigger box. It’s really hard to dress your salad when it’s in a box the size of your wallet.
Lke Hooters, the bartenders here will go through your order with you when it arrives and have you sign off on it. Then they’ll hand you your check to sign verifying your order is correct. This is actually genius because it’s a preemptive strike to keep people from going home and making up a story that they’re missing an item or two.
Red Lobster puts the accountability on the consumer, and I respect that – seafood ain’t cheap.
In short, Red Lobster is actually a great value for seafood to-go. Pretty much whatever you order is a winner. And not just because of the cheddar biscuits. My order was around $30.00 and I tipped 20% for the outstanding service.
Red Lobster in Overland Park, KS. 4.5 out of 5.