Jolly: The Eternal Quesion; Tip on To-Go Food?

People have been getting take out food for hundreds of years, or something like that…

Whether they stabbed it, shot it, found it or called in to their favorite restaurant. Today we pick it up and drive it home, instead of hauling it home on our shoulders to the cave that we used to dine in. Thank you evolution.

Unfortunately evolution hasn’t helped with the gratuity issue.

The absolute rule is, don’t mess with anybody that handles your food or drinks

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve NEVER messed with anybody’s food because of a tip or their crappy  personality that made me cringe to even look at them. Except maybe one rude dude who called in a pizza at 10:58 pm. and we closed at 11:00pm. I was 16 then, tired and impressionable – sorry, douche.

Now here’s what I do when it comes to tipping on to-go food.

If I call an establishment and just pick it up, I leave a 10% tip at the very least.

Because really, what did that person do for me besides hand me a bag and take my money? Maybe they did take time out of their busy day to answer the phone before my Droid died from Angry Birds, so 10 percent’s good.

Even when I go to Sonic to troll for high school girls, I tip the hotties at least 10 percent. You know, because they brought it to my car on roller skates and didn’t fall and bite the curb like in American History X. Job skills!

Now, if I come come in, sit at your bar, take up space and bend your ear to order, I’ll tip 15-25 percent.

Maybe more if you offer me a soda while I wait. But don’t ask me if I’d like a soda, then charge me $2.69 for a Diet Coke. When the heck did the price of soda mirror the rise of gold and silver? Does that Diet Coke have panda semen in it?

Maybe I’m getting old, but I remember a time not too long ago when a soda costing NOTHING.

Because it was a great distraction to a guest while they waited for their take out food. So if you get charged for the soda,, I say leave a 10% tip. Unless of course you can talk the bartender into putting Franklin and Bash on one of the TVs near you.

Your tip should not just reflect the service but how they leave you equipped.

For example, how many times have you gone through a drive-through for fast food (no names) and got home feeling like you just got fucked by Joe Pesci? Always check your bag for the correct utensils and condiments. There’s no shame in saying, “Can I get a extra side of Ranch?” That shit is like crack or gold at some places.

Some people mainline the blue cheese from Coach’s straight into their veins.

Seriously, I get take out enough to know; if you don’t tip the person handling your food, you might not want to go back. Let me rephrase that, you shouldn’t go back.

Every review I have done to date on to go food has a lot to do with the service. Sometimes getting great service is KEY. And sometimes it’s like I just asked Jessica Simpson to spell something like “THE”  and I get a blank look from the staff. I’m used to that too.

I’ve had great service before and tipped over 20 percent. Then when I got home the food was so bad that my ass jumped the gun and pooped as a preemptive strike. I’ve also been three sheets to the wind, drunk out of my mind, got to go food, and tipped 40 percent on my whole tab.

You know,  $75.00 for booze and $14.00 for to go food. And I can still remember every delicious, palate-pleasing, made me want to be a better person bite. One great example is the scallops appetizer from Carmen’s Cafe. That appetizer made me want to add Casey Anthony as a Facebook friend.

In other words, just be sure to tip.
This entry was posted in Food_and_Fashion and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Jolly: The Eternal Quesion; Tip on To-Go Food?

  1. Super Dave says:

    Take Home is very ok
    I always tip on take out and if home delivery when I see it’s the kids own car I tip to them. I mean it would have cost me to go get it but I was lazy so I give the kid a decent tip for bringing me my dinner.

    As for take out as a whole I use it about as much as I eat out. I hate sitting in a lot of places alone while eating so as a rule I get it to go unless I know the owners and they are there. My lady friend at first didn’t understand the take home stuff to much until she had done it with me for a while now she does it a lot as well. Plus I can then maybe catch a game a race or a movie while dining at home and get to hear whats on the screen if it’s a sports bar type place and trust me some of them serve up very good stuff such as Austins in south Olathe. But don’t ask the hear the TV.

  2. Jackson says:

    Super Dave, im my unhumble opinion, there is a HUGE difference between someone bringing the food to my house and me going to pick up. First of all, I am the king of tippers, bartenders and waiteresses love me…they always have…but…

    When I go to someplace, like Minskys or Bolings, and I have to get out walk in and walk to the back and screw around waiting, there is NO TIP…… If I go to smokestack and I get to sit ion my car and the kid walks it out ot the car, they get 2 bucks…. fk percentages on that….. it is degrading to a full service waiter to tip some bozo who simply walks a bag out to the car….. unless….

    Unless of course the person is a walking the bag of food out is a she and a hotty, in a low cut top and she leans over and allows her beautiful milky white breasts t to sway gently back and forth as she smiles…. as I smile….. and….. uhmmm…. wait a second where was I ?……. oh yeah…. That low cut top hotty gets 35%… just being being a good sport to a guy, alone, probably picking up food to take home and eat by himself….what a gal… thanks…… BUT…..

    To tip someone in a winter coat for bringing out the bag…. they get 2 bucks…… For the person delivering food to my house…..25-35% EVERYTIME….. those people are working harder than anyone…. I ahve never done it but aI imagine driving food around is a pian in the ass,,,.. other drivers are assholes…and I appreciate not leaving the house… so I am happy to give them 30%.

    Bottom line…. it is degrading to regualr wait staff to leave a counter person/cahsier the same tip….

  3. Super Dave says:

    Well Jackson it’s like this
    Many places put the tip into a common pool or all who receive tips have to tip down to lower support staff (kitchen help, busboys, expo position etc.) so since one has no idea what is the rule of the house I always tip. I feel that support staff should share in the tip as much as anyone else in the establishment

  4. Jackson says:

    I know about the common tip jar, but you said you only tip if the person delivering food to yuour house if they drive their own car, but you happily tip a person at the counter….. if I read it wrong, soory, I dont really want to debate it .. and only adressed you becasue of what you said….

  5. Mary says:

    When in doubt, tip ’em out!!! People don’t always realize this, but if you order take out in a full-service restaurant, it is often a full-service waiter/waitress that has to take the time away from attending to their tables in order to assemble your order, wrap it and bag it. Often that’s more difficult than bringing it to the table. If you don’t want to tip, go to the deli area at the grocery store. Or a fast food joint, but I even usually leave them a few bucks. Most only get minimum wage, and the look on their faces when you tell them to “keep the change” is priceless! And delivery guys should always get a tip… they are fighting traffic and using gas to save your lazy ass from having to leave the house. The tip should be excessively generous if the weather is crappy, and the poor guy has had to risk his vehicle, and possibly his life to deliver food to you so that you don’t have to.

  6. Rob says:

    please tell us where MARY
    Oh BS Mary, please give one example of a restaurant where the waitresses have to package up the food. Please, tell us where these slave drivers operate. If a restaurant offers order to go, they should pack it in the kitchen where it is made, and there should a set procedure, it should not burden the wait staff, it should be done in the kitchen.

    Please provide a list of restaurants that require wait staff to take time from their table serving duties to pack up food togo, and I will never use them for to go food again. A fkg restaurant is NOT doing me favor of getting food to go, I am customer, I am doing the leg work, they dont deserve tip if Ihave to go in and pick it up.

    I will agree 150% on tipping food brought to your house, I usually go 30-40%. I start my tips in restaurant at 35% and it starts dropping immediatley depending certain factors wihich I will not divleuge here, but suffice to say, if they do their jobs they get a great tip, if they wanna play games, I pay cash, and never go back. Onverage in my life my tips probably run at 22%, but there have been time when I left a quarter, and told the server “you should consider another job”. It is a downward spiral for bad wait staf, the worse they do the less they get, the less they do the less they get. On the other hand, a helpful, cheerful, prompt, attentive servers who keeps my ice teas full, or leaves the picher gets a million dollars…… I have never in my life left a fast food douchebag a tip, but I have left several $100 Bills for a meal served at the bar. It has to be right, but if they are good they get treated good.

    People who tip shitty service are hurting everyone. People who tip good service well are helping everyone.


  7. bschloz says:

    Heres a Tip
    I guy asked me If I could change a $20…I told him $20 is the change…
    Nice post Reid…glad your’e posting on KCC.
    Tipping is a blast..good for your soul– % is not important just give. Double the tax? right?

    Tipping upon picking up carryout from Jack Stack? That aint happening

  8. random says:

    Rob, you’re a dumb fk. And I’m guessing you’ve consumed a fair amount of spit in your days. Mary is correct. The kitchen puts the food in the physical container. Its the staff bags it, gets all your condiments together, and has it all organized and ready to go for you. Then when you show up ten minutes later than you said you would and leave a quarter, because it doesn’t feel warm………hey servers, make sure you leave the ice tea pitcher on Rob’s table, he’ll give you two quarters!!!

  9. expat says:

    tipping sucks
    One of the best things about not living in the US is this ridiculous custom doesn’t exist. Of course there is also no legal exception to pay restaurant staff less than minimum wage — they get the same wages/benefits as any other company employee, which is the way it should be.

  10. Rob says:

    Well said expat…… why the fuck not juts figure it into the price of the gadamned food prices, that way no one gets fucked, and no one is obligated to make up for idiots.

    hey random


  11. Walter says:

    Now now Rob, no need for profanity. The best way to get back at these losers threaten to spit in your food is to not order from these places. It is simple enough to cook at home and not deal with these food terrorist. What a joke that waitresses and bartenders dream that they are doing peope a favor by allowing the to come in and get food to go. I guess it just reflects the problem in America that everyone feels entitled to get something, guaranteed, and if they dont they whine. A nation of whiners ,that is America 2012. They feel entitled to a tip? and if they might no get it they will spit in your food? really? This is too easy to solve. Just dont order to go.

    Go to the store get a pound of lean beef for $4.00 and a box of Strogganoff mix for $2.00 and whip it up in about 1/2 an hour. It it is a delicious meal that feed s 3-4, or you 3 or 4 times. And best of all, no scumbag waiter or waitress or loser bartender will threaten to contaminate you food.

  12. Walter says:

    Maybe KCC should hire a writer who can pass along some simple simple recipes to make food at home, forget these whiney to-go crybabies, and self entitled waitstaff.

  13. The Knife says:

    Wow somebody can type in all caps. Well Rob I was prepared to write a basic opinionated review but saw your roid rage and had to chime in. I love exaggerated tippers such as yourself that buy a round of drinks at the bar and tip 10%. You probably snipe for complaints in the realm of the lipstick on your glass wasn’t quite the shade you wear so you utilize that excuse for poor tipping and find enough anger they need to dry-clean your underwear from skidmarks afterwards. If you had half a brain or even remotely knew the industry you WOULD know that assembling a Togo order for some cheap tipping idiot like you ruins a night, which does take time to do and is a pain in the ass for a server to wait around like a parent for their Togo grabbing child while neglecting their actual tipping customers. Another FYI, many restaurants share tipshare with the chefs that cook your cheap ass Togo food. Too many to list. P.S. Judging by your tipping standards I’m pretty sure you deliver pizzas for a living. When you leave with 10 extra percent in your pocket from a tip you are getting shit talked on you and remembered. I’d keep that in mind any place you frequent. As they say in Waiting don’t fuck with people who control your food. Namaste

  14. Peter says:

    LULZ!!!!! Oh no!!! Our greatest fear “getting shit talked on and remembered” by the losers working in a food.

    If these worthles fucks ever had what it takes to get a real job they wouldnt have to be be so overly concerned about collecting these pennies in tips. No one cares about these low class, drug addicts, slinging food for a living think. Fuck them These worthless losers are one cut above street walking sluts. Talk about doing something that takes no talent, and then they want to upiity about it? What a joke. Have you ever met these so called “service industry” types? NONE of them wants to do it, they are temping, looking for the next best thing, but remaining in the same loser position, because they are to much a loser to move on. They are nothing but a bunch of whining cryababies. Fuck them. Get a real job you fucking losers I spit on all waiter and witresses… and fuck most uppity bartneders too, now get me my drink you dumb bitch and shut the fuck. Oh and here is a dime for your trouble loser. Now go snicker andshit talk me with your loser servant friends.

    It is so fun to fuck over waiter and waitresses, if they dont like it, then the yshould get a real job, and quit whining and begging for money. At the bar order bottled beer, then bless the bitch with a a nickel, it is all he/she needs, let em whine, who cares?

  15. Peter says:

    Oh I forgot, the most fun to have with these losers is to call them bud or baby. Or try Hey sweetie, or HEY PAL!!! It is also a blast to call them suger tits baby doll, then smack on the ass, that always gets em riled up. It doesnt matter what you do, they are there to be abused, if they werent they would get paid by their bosses, and they wouldnt have to beg from abusing customers. Hell, I can get food athome, but it is more fun to go out and abuse scumbag service industry losers, now get me my bottled beer darlin, and make it snappy.

  16. Mary says:

    Oh Peter, you sure are a “Prick”
    Are you just trying to see what an a-hole you are????? You and Rob should join forces…. however, be forewarned, if anybody discovers your identities, you will get some meals with some “pleasant surprises” when you go out…teehee…just sayin’,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

  17. Mary says:

    Mr. Prick…… (AKA Peter)
    So what constitutes a “real job” to you? There are career servers and bartenders that make a fairly good living at what they do (from no thanks to you and your ilk, thank you). You disgust and infuriate me. Do everybody a favor and eat at home… But, please, buy your own groceries. NO TAKEOUT FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. The Knife says:

    I can’t help but only laugh at you Peter. You sound like an unhappy ignorant piece of shit. Living proof why America voted for Bush….Twice…and it goes to show you seemed to have left out some detailed information. I think Mary nailed it for you though. Most kids paying their way through college work in the service industry and some make it a career. In any known establishment that serves self righteous white trash like yourself smacking asses and grabbing dicks. You’d get thrown the fuck out. The most pinnacle point in my comment that you seemed to miss with your “Oh No!”. Was you’d be rememebered and remembered well the next time you wanna pass through. With as much shit that comes out of your mouth sounds like you’ve eaten your fair share of it. In my days in a restaurant I never tampered with anyones food, yet again I’d make an acception for you.

  19. The Knife says:

    All the above said, I agree with Reid and this article.

  20. Peter says:

    can I tip you with gum… already been chewed?
    LOL!!!! You are such patsies…. go get a real job,…. and get me another bottled beer…. sweety…..

    this is too easy…. making fun of poor low self esteem servants….. now I feel bad….BWWWWAAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHA not rerally they chose to be internet tough guys…… get what they deserve….

  21. Big Tipper says:

    Wait staff???
    We call them Mandatory libation deployment engineers. PS – Peter. We will find you.

  22. Peter says:

    in the mean, this beer is warm, get me another to replace it…and refill the free peanuts boy…errrrrrr I mean Bud.

  23. Peter says:




    You mean I am supposed to give these servants my hard earned money? HA!!!!, maybe a spare piece of bread, if it is left over…. but real money???…… BWWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA …..yeah right, thatll be the day… get a real job you bums.

  24. The Knife says:

    I think Peter went full retard

  25. The Knife says:

    I’m surprised Peter eater can even do the 1+1 math to post his mentally challenged comments.

  26. Mary says:

    Let Peter rant and rave… by doing so he is helping those on our side. My friends who have read his comments say that all they do is to inspire them to tip MORE!!! And they are already great tippers! So just keep flapping your gaping pie-hole, Peter! You are proof that tipping amounts are usually higher among the educated and/or intelligent, which obviously, you are not. I’m sure you don’t have the means (or manners) to eat in a classy restaurant anyway, so just stick to your cheap beer and free peanuts. And be lucky if they are not dumped over your head the next time you walk in… By the way, beer is remarkably similar in color to another pale yellow liquid, if you know what I mean………Might be careful next time you raise your glass…….

  27. mike says:

    question for “peter”
    Is your last name Griffin by any chance?

Comments are closed.