Leftridge: Gift Giving Ideas for Just About Anyone

With Christmas only a stone’s throw away, I’ve decided to take the guess work out of gift-giving.

Nobody really knows what Grandpa wants and Dad has enough "executive" golf-themed items for his desk (exceptionally funny because Dad doesn’t work at a desk– he’s a ‘slicer’ on the hog-slaughtering assembly line… Get real).

Surprise them with a gift for the ages!

Have them talking for weeks afterwords! Whatever… Just buy one of these goddamned things and call it a day.

– A real OPOSSUM!

– Unrated director’s cut of ‘Dodgeball’.

– Gift certificate, K-Mart.

– 1st season of ‘Mr. Belvedere,’ Blu-Ray.

– Porter’s brand Macaroni and Cheese.

– New eyeglasses

– Herpes medication (unopened!)

-Strawberry Flavor-Ade

-Turquoise Jewelry

– Turquoise Condoms

– Orange Juice

– Orange Juicer Machine

– Those socks with the fuzzy balls on the heel

– New teeth

– Tibetan Mastiff

– 2 lbs. Black licorice

– Hot glue gun

– Gift Certificate, Yankee Candle

Now there, doesn’t that feel better to have some ideas to work with? You’re WELCOME.

Have a safe and Happy Holiday, and oh yes, look out for Harley— it sounds like he’s trying to poison (or urinate/defecate in?) Hearne‘s food. You could be next!

This entry was posted in Entertainment and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Leftridge: Gift Giving Ideas for Just About Anyone

  1. wha?!? says:

    I don’t get it
    Are you taking Kelly Urichs spot as the ‘unfunny’ writer?

  2. Brandon Leftridge says:

    Hi, “Wha?!?” Thanks for reading. No, I’m not nearly as clever as Kelly Urich. Happy Holidays!

  3. chuck says:

    happy holidays lefty
    🙂

  4. Brandon Leftridge says:

    Thanks, Chuck. Right back at ya. Hope you have a great one.

  5. EveryMan says:

    That picture of the dog up there is a dead ringer for KCC’s own betting dog…..and is a warning…” friends dont let friends abuse steriods”…. I mean take a look…. Put a pair of sun glasses on that dog and it looks just like gLazer as he is growling threats and invitations to street fights…. grrrrrr …grrrrrreowll.. bark bark says the betting dog….
    Yes boys and girls roid rage is a scary thing… just look at that pooch…. he used to be normal

    DAMN IT!!!! …That not what I meant to say… that dog looking like gLazer got me side tracked.

    I meant to say….

    HO HO HO Happy Holidays to you and yours Mr Brandon Leftridge…
    You are a fine young man, you will go far…. Have Merry Christmas and a prosperous 2012

Comments are closed.