That is, for people like myself who inevitably wait until the absolute last second. If you’re like me, every year you tell yourself this holiday season will be different. This year you’ll get going early and get the shopping done by Thanksgiving so you can kick back and relax as the days inch closer to Christmas.
No jam-packed checkout aisles, no fighting for parking at the Legends, no swearing at soccer moms in minivans as you cut them off and slide into the space they’ve been waiting for with their blinker on for 5 minutes.
Sounds like a plan, right?
Well, having a plan is one thing, but executing it is far more difficult. Especially when you’re as lazy as I am.
But don’t worry, people. I’m here to help with the perfect last second gift. The kind that will fill up your belly and get you drunk – two of the most important aspects of Baby Jesus’ birthday. Plus, it’s all KC, all the way.
That’s right: smoked meats and beer, a gift that no one can be disappointed with.
For those of you who own a smoker and know how to work it (of course you do, you live in KC), it’s simple. Get a couple whole chickens for about $4.50 a pop, throw a dirty rub on them consisting of virtually anything in your spice cabinet, and put them in the smoker. I prefer cherry wood, but whatever you have will do just fine.
Then make a beer run while those birds are turning golden brown. Grab a few six packs of Boulevard’s seasonal Nutcracker Ale, a hearty, deep amber ale with a little extra alcohol at 5.8%. It finishes hoppy and smooth, without the prominent alcohol taste that some of the more potent seasonal brews tend to have.
Come to think of it, better grab a sixer for yourself, too. There’s still meat to be smoked after all.
Once you down a couple brews, check those chickens. When they’re perfectly cooked let them cool for a bit then wrap those suckers in plastic wrap. Throw a bow on top and voila! You’re done. Pound another Nutcracker to congratulate yourself on a job well done.
Plus, you now have a perfect gauge with which to judge your giftee — anyone who’s not excited to receive some backyard KC ‘cue and local beer should not be on your gift list anyway.