Glazer: Tiger Woods; America’s Villain Becomes America’s Hero Again

Just two years ago the morons of America were saying Tiger Woods was done…

Tiger would win no more. Woods had cheated on his pretty, blonde wife many times and she’d chased him with a golf club and he hit a tree with his car. There wasn’t much damage to Tiger, the tree or the car, but there was a ton of damage to Woods’ image. 

The white world was stunned.

"We gave you our skin color and you screwed us!" they ranted. "You cheated on the pretty, white girl."

Tiger was toast. He lost most of his advertising backers and millions of dollars.

But the man hadn’t killed anybody. He wasn’t busted for dealing drugs or dog fighting. He wasn’t the head of the Hip Hop movement. He cheated on his wife, that’s all. And America went whack. Why? Because we made him white that’s all. And oh yeah, because he was the greatest golfer of all-time and he crossed us.

Yesterday Woods won his first tournament in two years.

No, it wasn’t a major, but it was a decent one in California, the Chevron World Challenge. Yep, he’d gone 26 tournaments without a win. He did finish third last week, a step towards this win. It was Tiger’s 83rd tournament win and he moved his world ranking from 52ND to 21st.

He also is a win away from getting back all those commericals and millions of dollars. The guy is the best. He did nothing really wrong. He cheated on his wife. Let me clue you in….pssst…….so do 95% of all celebrities. What really happened is he got caught. And he was kinda black and so people were PISSED!

It’s over now Tiger, you’re white again.

You can come home. Hey, did you meet my sister? She’s hot. That’s what Tiger’s gonna hear that now. A winner is just that, a winner.

And Woods wins.

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12 Responses to Glazer: Tiger Woods; America’s Villain Becomes America’s Hero Again

  1. kcfred says:

    wtf?
    ..was that? This looks like 7th grade crap. I know, I used to teach 7th grade. Wait, I just offended 7th graders everywhere.

  2. Markus Aurelius says:

    He didn’t just cheat on his wife, he cheated on his kids
    not to mention he lied to his family and friends and undoubtedly exposed his wife to any number of sexually transmitted diseases.

    No offense but without any kids or family, you have little to offer in the way of comments about the significance of Tiger Woods betrayal to his wife and children. If he couldn’t be sexually satisfied by his wife then he should have just told her, divorced her and then fooled around with whoever he wanted. However, he was too arrogant and too cowardly to do that.

    Lying to and cheating on the mother of his kids with multiple partners is significant. Maybe not to someone like you, but it was to his former wife and always will be to his kids.

  3. Craig Glazer says:

    Come On Haters You Can Do Better…
    thats it, 7th grade report, I say cheating is ok…well sports fan haters…not so, I was married 5 years, never cheated, my wife and I are friends and our divorce was not over cheating. So no I don’t think its ok…I just know its normal in that world…I live more in that world than you hater losers, so how would you know. In fact you guys look like the ‘north end of a southbound mule’ so who would want you other than a paid hooker! How would you know? Me, I’m handsome and well to do, and a name, so yeah girls are interested, too many, and I don’t have Tigers credits….I don’t know too many celebrities who have never cheated, its too bad, but true….marriage is very tough. I just don’t think Woods deserved all the hate. But with all my haters God only knows what he must have had….i saw one site where he was just crushed….nigger this, loser that…on and on…not fair. I should know….I like Woods, and wish him the best. He will be the all time gold champ….no doubt. Lesson: when you are a world star and 28, don’t get married, it won’t work, never does..wait til at least late 30’s or 40’s…then maybe it can work….haters…hate on boys…..everytime you write down your hate, look in the mirror and remind yourself why you hate…UGLY GUY…RIGHT…

  4. HARLEY says:

    you couldnt be more wrong
    he cheated on his wife. And america/americans love to build someone up and then they like to crush him
    like an ant. He was human. I saw the guy in vegas and his handlers/guards would go into the club area
    and tell women that “mr. woods wants to invite you to his vip room”…and who wouldn’t go.
    yea yea…we’re all angels. marcus and kcfred are so pure and clean. yea..heard their story before.
    We’re all human. Humans make mistakes. Tiger should not be married. Good lucking with billions in vegas?
    come on …he flew his jet and buddies into vegas on a whim and caught some puss.
    Nothing wrong with it.
    Did he cheat on his kids. Well yea…but they’ll grow up and as tigers kids will get the special treatment and
    learn that the world is at their feet for the asking. How about tigers wife…come on people. If he wasn’t tiger
    with billions would she have married him. If he was a caddy would she have caught this guy and married
    him. She knew he was fair game for every hooker/tail girl and gold digger from coast to coast.
    Good for him. Knew he would win again. there aren’t many great golfters left on the tour. Mediocre talent
    right now at best. tiger shouldwin 20 more majors before he’s done. This was jus a minor detour for the guy.
    What it did show him is that he’s not a god. Friends tell me he’s more patient with people…doing more
    charity events…he called the old greats (nichalus/palmer/etc) and for the first time listened to what they
    said.
    He’s not the first or last glofer to get caught. There are many others.
    He’s just fogot what made him. Others can say all kind of shit about him…tiger is a human…human needs
    and feelings.
    The fans made him to be superhuman. Swinging a golf club can’t make you a god…it can make you
    a star…but it never can make you perfect.

  5. smartman says:

    Walk a Mile In His Shoe’s
    WTF? WE made him WHITE? Bullshit! Tiger was born and bred by Earl Woods to be the ultimate slap in the white mans face. He dominated the ultimate white mans game. Got the ultimate trophy wife with whiter than white skin. The only thing WE made Tiger was RICH.

    The first time you nailed Black Barbie you got more black ass than Tiger.

    Tiger still gets plenty of verbal abuse from fans on and off the course, particulary from women. He gets plenty of hate mail at his residence and sent to him at IMG. Stevie Williams is dropping little bits of Tigers dirty laundry all around the golf world.

    John Edwards has a better chance of making a PR comeback than Tiger.

    Maybe he can do some TV ads with Dirk Nowitzki. Based on my findings the ONLY NBA players making the NATIONAL ad rounds these days are Lebron in the recent McD’s MONOPOLY ad campaign and BLAKE GRIFFIN for KIA.

  6. HARLEY says:

    as far as the use of the n word
    its a word. In the south they use it often…even today. Was in louisiana and heard a white guy refer to his
    waiter as the n word. Shocked me. Not others.
    If they use it on the internet…jsut because we’re anonymous.
    no other reason.
    Been called names worse than that. Thye are just that. Words.
    Look at the source.
    People call obama a n word. They don’t understand the guy runs the world. that hurts them
    inside to see a black guy get ahead on his own.
    Oh well…i don’t throw stones…i live in a glass house.

  7. Hot Carl says:

    This was hardly a tournament. There were only 18 guys playing. Yes, he won and I guess that’s good for him. But let’s not get too crazy about this.

  8. harley says:

    GLAZE…you’re going coast to coast
    just thiink glaze…4 months ago this little blog was not even known across the city.
    Now that tonykc and wdaf fox 4 have taken on a full hand to hand combat with
    hearne…now that you stated there was illegal activity at jardines…this little blog site
    that we’ve known and loved is goiing VIRAL!
    soon…it will be more popular than kcpt auctions or even johnny dare….
    increidble that just a few weeks ago noone cared what was said or writtem here…
    now its a viral go wild site….wow.

  9. Kerouac says:

    Yesterday > today
    Nicklaus > Woods, as Ruth > than Bonds… and I don’t even like Nicklaus nor did I know The Babe, George Herman. And I don’t care what color they are, any of them. For that matter, give me Palmer, Hogan & Player and you can have Woods plus any other couple of duffers you like on your team (I hear hailme will be available at season’s end.)

  10. Woodside Pal says:

    Coast to Coast Glazer/Hearne
    You guys have a fun active site. I know there are several other writers, but you two and the stars. Glazer I see Hearne is beating you on comments for the first time in a long while. Maybe you should go back to responding to the haters! You guys have broken several stories from death to city moves and firings. Your Jason Whitlock coverage was awesome as well.

  11. 3/4 right hemisphere says:

    The Difference Between Celebrities and Blowhard Sociopaths
    glazer’s comment:

    “He cheated on his wife. Let me clue you in….pssst…….so do 95% of all celebrities.”

    My comment on Glazer’s comment:

    As a professional statistician with a PhD from a top-ten-in-the-world university, let me tell you glazer, 63.34% of statistics such as your “95%” are made up out of thin air.

    glazer’s comment;

    “Me, I’m handsome and well to do, and a name, so yeah girls are interested …”

    My comment on your comment:

    First of all glazer,, you are NOT handsome. You have dead eyes; you are in fair shape, but not outstanding, you smell like cheap-perfume-cologne failing to cover a natural rank BO, you are uncomfortable-acting among women of any combination of looks, sophistication, class (you don’t know the meaning of the word; to you, an expensive hotel in Vegas is “class”, you mistake gaudiness and flashiness for class), and intelligence.

    Second of all Glazer, just like one of your anti-descendants (figure out who, if you can), who filed for bankrupcy more than once, you SAY you have money, but no one in this town with any money believes it, and besides, no woman who isn’t akin to your typical floozy cares.

    Third of all glazer, your “name”, for however well it is known, is based on endless self promotion and publicity for crimes, but in reality the only real success you have had is modest; you’ve learned how to run a fairly successful comedy club.

    Glazer’s comment:

    “I live more in that world than you hater losers, so how would you know.”

    My comment on your comment:

    You’ve done the best you could to over-promote yourself from a nobody to a somebody, by, for example, claiming to have writing skills, which you don’t, claiming to be a movie producer, when you were a gopher to a gopher to a movie producer (Were you even paid?) and on and on.

    In reality, glazer, I can’t decide if you are a sort-of-entertaining comedic entity, such as a circus clown, or a sort-of entertaining tragic entity. In either case you are at best modestly amusing.

    I’d love to get your cerebral input on how you view the comedy-tragedy aspect of your life, but I suspect that would take much more introspection for you to ever understand.

  12. Super Dave says:

    Great Comment 3/4 right hemisphere
    A voice of reason at last

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