It’s important to remember what we’re thankful for right?
Isn’t that what this Indian-murdering holiday is all about? Well, first I suppose I’m thankful for my forefathers who murdered all of those Indians. Without their noble efforts, who knows where we’d be (and since I’ve got a good-bit of Indian blood in me as well, I’d like to say, "Patience, brothers. Our time will come once again.
"When the white man least suspects it, after his society has crumbled mightily due to years of greed and distress, we will rise once again, murdering his sleeping children under the cover of night, raping his women beneath a brilliant moon, and scalping his honky-ass before making jerky from the soles of his feet."
So in short, I’ll be killing children, raping moms and cannibalizing white dudes over the holiday.