Today: Shia’s Drunken Brawls, Tot Mom Assassination Attempt, Tyson Does Cain

Holiday gossip break, anyone?

There are some interesting stories in this week’s National Enquirer worth taking a gander at.

Like the "world exclusive" about – forgive me for borrowing the expression – Tot Mom Casey Anthony surviving an assassination attempt and being hastily moved to a new safe house in the middle of the night in a remote part of Florida after finding a scrawled threat taped to her front door.

Or how about director Steven Spielberg – whose long ago photo adorns a wall at Bryant’s BBQ – warning Transformers star Shia LaBeouf about getting hammered and getting into nasty barroom brawls as evidenced in photos of the 25-year-old actor getting his you-know-what handed to him in Vancouver, B.C.

Where was Stargazing  when that story wnt downe any of those pics came to light last month?

And check outwww.youtube.com/watch former boxing champ Mike Tyson’s spoof of absent-minded GOP professor Herman Cain.

"For the comedy bit, Tyson donned a fake salt-and-pepper mustache and wire-rim spectacles to become a dead ringer for Cain, former head of Godfather’s Pizza.

The Enquirer reports that President Barack Obama quietly sent word to Tyson that he was "knocked out" by the parody. It starts out with Tyson-as-Cain saying Godfather’s was so gross "it made my children hate pizza," adding that "Now I’m running for president and leading in the Republican polls. Why? Because the Tea Party loves crazy more than they hate blacks. And I’m crazier than a shit house rat."

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5 Responses to Today: Shia’s Drunken Brawls, Tot Mom Assassination Attempt, Tyson Does Cain

  1. tiad says:

    Jr., Please…
    …leave this kind of stuff to Kelly Urich. He’s got your market cornered on “funny.”

    2 + 8 = 20 – 10 = 300 / 30

  2. Hearne Christopher says:

    Wasn’t shooting for funny, dude but thanks for the math lesson.

    You want funny? Try clicking on the video link in the Tyson / Cain item.

  3. balbonis moleskine says:

    Hey last week called, they want their viral videos back!

    Here’s one:

    TURKEYS ATTACK THE WRONG TYPE OF INDIANS

    http://deadspin.com/5861879/watch-turkeys-intimidate-a-mother-and-son-thanks-to-someone-who-chose-to-record-instead-of-help

  4. Hearne Christopher says:

    How fascinating. And did they also mention that Obama had sent word to Tyson that he dug it?

  5. Orphan of the Road says:

    giving credit where credit is due
    Have to thank you for the Tyson video. Classic.

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