I don’t want to rush the Holiday Spirit but…
This just in: the annual KC Confidential Christmas Wilding is slated for Monday December 12th at Jardine’s. That’s right from 5:30 p.m. until ? (alias 9:30 p.m), the staff, friends and foes of KC Confidential are invited to kick out the jams – or not – at Kansas City’s top jazz club.
Kansas City’s recently remodeled and revamped jazz club, I might add.
Not that we’ll be pounding down jazz that night.
Far from it. Instead we’ll be showcasing the tripsters from the band Valency. For the uninitiated, the band describes itself as follows:
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"Valency is a progressive-rock band from Kansas City, Missouri that simultaneously challenges and entertains audiences with a unique mix of blues licks, funk grooves, and odd-meters."
The "odd-meters" part should mesh well with some of you Comments Section habitues. Maybe even Harley will show up, out himself and bring a Nebraska Furniture Mart inset from the Star to help Craig redesign his living room entertainment assemblage and pit group.
What’s more, I promise to make Craig swear not to threaten to beat anybody up at the bash. And if you utter the magic words to your bartender or server – what are they again? – LISTEN, LEARN, WRITE IT DOWN, they’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.
Think of it as an opportunity to meet, greet, sweep off their feet and be sweet to some of the favorite people you love to hate. Or just plain love. Moi, Matt Donnelly, Craig, Jack, Brandon Leftridge, Mermaid, KCC alums and more.
Oh and we will have some surprises, count on it…
I am thinkin that propriety will neglect to dictate civility
during the festivites.
In addition, Peace on Earth and Good Will Towards Men, leaves Harley out of the conversation.
Can he be the “Burning Man?”
Get your bells on…
suggestion
I’m thinking a costume party might be more appropriate for this crew
Occupy KCC Special Event
Sunday Nov 20th at Liberty Memorial
SCHEDULE
8:00-10:00 Opening Invocation and Benediction by HARLEY
10:00-10:30. Explanation of Invocation and Benediction by CHUCK
10:30-10:55 Introduction of First Keynote Speaker by BADASS
JEW BERKOWITZ.
10:55-11:00 I’m OK and You’re NOT by CRAIG GLAZER
11:00-11:30 KCINDY in the 23rd Century by KEROUAC
11:30-12:30 OCCUPY MY ASS by KELLY URICH. BYOC and BYOL
12:30-1:30 Open Buffet, Tossed Salad Steak and Lobster provided by CAPITOL GRILL. Children Welcome
1:30-2:30 Open Mic GLAZER HATERS FORUM. Moderator-:HARLEY
2:30-2:45 Open Mic GLAZER LOVERS FORUM
Moderator-HARLEY
2:45-3:30 BATHROOM BREAK Sponsored by ROGER THE PLUMBER. Porta Potty entry prices will be reduced from $10:00 to $5:00
3:30-4:30 SPECIAL APPEARANCE by the NIGGERS RUIN EVERYTHING GUY from TKC.
4:30-4:40 EGRESS SPEECH by TRACY THOMAS
Sounds Fun, Like Smartman’s Lineup
I’ll be there with bells nah, hotties on…..sounds like fun. Hope some of the comment people will show up, promise not to be mean…maybe….if you bring me gifts…see ya there.
Worlds must not collide!
They seldom do. The only commentarians at last year’s bash that I rec’d were Mermaid and Robertoe
what fun
I swear if everyone on this board showed up, I’d just stand in the corner and drink ice water.What a show.
Jardines + KCC = a dysfunctional match!
Hearne, I’ve got to compliment you for choosing Jardines for this coco’s nest get-together too. I wandered in there the first week Greg Halstead opened it (1992) and it became my neighborhood hang out. I’ve seen more batshit crazy unfolding in there than any other place in town. Jazz can be kinda boring but not Jardines! Since I had the nearby condo it became the after hours hangout for lots of the jazz musicians and cute wait staff. I miss watching the iron fist management style of Halstead. He was controversial. He didnt care how big or mean looking you were. He’d always address problems head on and I was usually backing him up. I wasn’t assisting with the offense. I was usually playing mediator and backing him off. None-the-less he and his flashlight ended up with quite a string of assault charges (rumor mill indicates 7!).
Beena and I also bailed him out (in her little 2 seater Miata!) when he rear ended someone in front of Fedoras. He was always a thinker. Right after the accident and his airbag deployed he immediately went into the Fedoras bar (with airbag powder all over his hair and clothes) and loudly ordered and did a shot or 2. There goes the validity of the sobriety test! Off the hook! By the time I got to Fedoras the cops had him cuffed and up against the wall listening to him loudly harangue them.
Of course the current owner has her own spate of soap opera sagas! And I’ll compliment you again, Hearne, for having the fortitude of not relating any of them herein. Those would have Glazereske potential! 😮
I expect this year’s KCC xmas get-together will be similar to last year. This crew posts a big game but they arent as good at actually socializing and interacting with real people. Thats cool. Worked for me last year. Ended up forging great friendships with the Mermaid diva and that sharp little cookie Maria as a result. I hope you guys pull no-shows again this year! Stay home and hide behind your keyboards! I’ll eat, drink and pirate your share!
Something wicked,
this way comes.
Sorry to report but KCC’s Christmas has been canceled
No wise men, no virgins.
I’m looking forward to Craig’s rendition of Santa Don’t Cop Out on Dope. Hearne belting out My Little Douche Coup. chuck will take the stage for a rousing tribute to harley, Hit the Road Jagoff.
If I am asked in a civil tone, or if the security guards neglect to be vigilant in keeping drunks off the stage I’ll perform the story of my life
From a carny show and a rodeo that shared a three day stand
A cowboy met a fiery carny queen
In new spring nights amid the lights of the painted carny vans
They laughed and loved and shared the short lived dream
But the carny show and the rodeo both went their seperate ways
And the carny season bloomed and soon moved on
And I was born on a winther morn to the dark eyed carny queen
The too-late-son of something that was gone
The blacksheep child
Of a cowboy smile
From a seed the four winds sowed
The bastard son of ice and fire….
An orphan of the road
Learn it, live it, love it
Orphan, I was an orphan too, literally.
Orphaned here in KC many years ago.
Having experienced catestrophic early trauma, I decided to name my first born son, “Random Dude” in the hopes he would get laid more often than I did.
He never speaks to me, but I hear about him all the time.
The best performance of the night, on Jardine’s proscenium (Do they have one?) should be simultaneous soliloquies from Harley and Johhny on “the Utilitarian Aspects of Compos Mentis at the Keyboard Under Stress.”
Positively scintilating.
See ya there.
🙂