OK sports fans and Glazer haters here we go…
Let me start by saying these are things I did as Father Time moved in on my ass. YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW MY ADVICE. It’s simply advice – take it or leave it.
This is not a ME story but a YOU story.
If you are a younger reader, these are things to consider down the road. If you are over 40 these are issues facing you right now. One thing to keep in mind, with modern medicine many of these options will change and become better.
Some of you are happy with the way you are, and that’s fine.
However if you have some vanity and want to battle the clock, HAVE AT IT!
Let’s address the steroids first. One should only use Testosterone and HGH (human growth hormone) with a doctor’s care. Both are legal and can be covered by Blue Cross. Mine are. Find a doctor who believes in the process. The doctor does a blood check and decides if you qualify and your body can handle the steroids. Both are produced naturally by your own body.
That’s right, HCG, the growth hormone, is a protein made in the pituitary glands. When used properly these two steroids will help you lose weight, turn that into muscle and smooth the skin. It will help you look younger and fitter.
And in most cases it ups your sex drive a ton.
Women can also use different forms of the same drugs to bring back their sex drives and help lose weight. I have used them for two years and the results are outstanding. I have also placed friends with my doctors and they all are happy.
"Changed my life for the better, brother, I owe you for this advice. It’s made me so damn happy. My wife thanks you as well," said a pal from Woodside who is in his early 60’s who now looks 10 years younger and has a strong sex drive again. All in three months.
You must work out with the drugs to make them work best.
Remember, I had an advantage since I have been a gym rat for decades. It tightened up my stomach and dropped the little handle bars around my waist in about three months. The HGH has kept my skin smooth and I have few wrinkles.
I look at least 15 years younger than I am.
This is not for everyone. There’s NO evidence that shows harm in usage when the doses are correct.
Many ballplayers and bodybuilders use steroids like Anabal which are not naturally produced and may cause issues. I suggest you see a doctor and ask him all your questions before you make a move. Remember this stuff is now being advertised on TV. So it’s not like sneaking into Mexico and doing something illegal.
By the way, I said goodbye to my 2008 Porsche a couple weeks back.
I loved that car, but it had reached 50,000 miles and it was time to go. The new ones looked pretty much the same as mine, so I didn’t feel good about spending $88,000 for a new Cayman that looked the same as my old one.
So Hearne talked me into looking at the Lotus Evora.
We had no dealers here so we drove to St. Louis and I drove the only new one that was left, a black on black job. Sadly, the delivery day was the same as my little brother’s funeral, so I put it off a few days. And frankly, it has not been as fun to have owing to my feelings about my brother’s sudden and unexpected death.
In time I’m sure it will seem better. It’s clearly a show stopper though.I have always driven exotic cars – I still have a 1990 Porsche 944 S – there are less than 100 remaining in the US. I had that car in LA and it’s given me some fond memories so I’ve kept it. And it still looks cool.
Face it, the car doesn’t make the man, but it does make a statement.
As for my famous hair, when I was young my hair was so thick the barber had to use thinner clippers to get through the damn stuff. In my 20s it began to thin. Hopefully not from a wild night in my mom’s medicine cabinet.
By the time I got to Hollywood in 1981, I was already doing the comb over a bit.
I still had enough hair in those days – we all had long hair back then – but you could see it was thinning. I tried everything, the electric rake, the Burt Reynolds spray (black hair spray in a can that covers the bald spot). That worked until one night a cute gal spent the night, we woke up and she had that black crap all over her hands and face.
I tried to convince her that it was her own makeup, but she knew better.
So one day I read about Elton John doing some special hair thing. In those days the hair transplant was not perfected (today it’s damn good) and you ended up with plugs that looked like a porcupine.
For a ton of dough, they cut the long hair in back and married it to your growing hair on top with a condom like rubber heated piece over your scalp to hold the hair in place. It worked well, you just had to have lots of extra hair. They still had to color the dead hair and trim what is growing – kinda a pain in the ass – but it looked damn good. It helps because it’s YOUR HAIR even though its not growing anymore.
To this day, I do not get grey hair at all except a tinge in my facial hair and even less in my side burns. That will come though. You can go to the store and get mustache coloring for the facial hair. It brushes in and washes out – takes five minutes.
These are just suggestions. Again, not everyone wants to fight aging. But it’s nice to think you can look 38 at 58 and you can. It takes work and effort. Hey, but if you’re too far gone, you can at least go low carb diet and use the testosterone to get slim. Everyone doesn’t have to look like an ex NFL cornerback to look great.
Clothes are important, too. Try Dillard‘s at Oak Park Mall. Great selection of clothes for younger/older guys and shoes as well.
This Christmas get yourself a great gift.
Give yourself some years back. It works. Again I’m single and like to date around, so it works for me. I could lie about my age, but Johnny Dare makes sure that won’t work. Damn. Oh yeah, I’ll be out with a 20-something and her girlfriends will say, "I heard on Dare that Craig was over 50. Hell, your dad is only 30-something"
That kind of peer pressure can kill you.
I know many of you will say, who needs to do that? Just find a nice girl closer to your own age. Maybe. But in the meantime, I’m gonna keep rocking and rollling.