In light of Nick Wright’s report about Todd Haley’s impending termination, and Bob Gretz’s report about naming rights for Arrowhead Stadium, I think that there’s really only one indisputable truth: Pioli and Haley aren’t going to be taking in any corporate trust retreats together anytime soon. It’s been reported by many sources—the local sports talk radio media, the national media, even that barista at the Starbucks on Main with the chain that loops between her septum piercing and her lip-ring—that they’re on the outs.
There aren’t enough little Dutch boys in all of Holland to stop the holes forming in the Chiefs’ dike. Unless the organization finds their own “Little Hero of Haarlem,” all credibility and sanity held loosely behind that wall threatens to drown everyone in the village below.
On this morning’s Chiefs’ preview show on KCTV, Rich Baldinger got into the act, stating that he thinks that there’s only one way Haley keeps his job past this season: by winning a playoff game.
Wait a minute… what’s that uproarious laughter I hear? The cacophony of a million Kansas City football fans who heard Baldinger say, “Chiefs” and “playoffs” in the same sentence? Specifically, in reference to “this year”?
Yeah, that doesn’t seem too likely.
What does seem likely, however, is that coach Todd Haley does get his pink slip in the not-too-distant future, not a matter of if, but when. Unless the Chiefs do something miraculous—you know, like win a playoff game this season.
It’s also a pretty foregone conclusion that everyone’s beloved Arrowhead Stadium will eventually become “Taco Via Stadium at Arrowhead Field,” or some similar, impersonal type of nonsense. In this day and age of corporate naming sovereignty, it’s a wonder this didn’t happen with the renovations, or hasn’t happened at some point in the past 10 years.
Kent Babb of the Kansas City Star reported that, “A team spokeswoman said the team has been involved in naming rights discussions since 2006 but that there is no deal in place, no announcement planned, and that neither is expected in the immediate future.” Doesn’t exactly sound like a harsh denial of the claim, does it? No, it just says, “Hey, we’re shopping it around, kicking some tires, all that jazz… hey wait, speaking of, do you think the Cajun restaurant Jazz might be interested in some of this hot ‘naming rights’ action? Maybe somebody should call them.”
So get ready to enjoy your Sundays at “Beeman’s Mustache Cream Stadium,” Chiefs’ fans. On a positive note, maybe they’ll be able to lure in Bill Cowher with the promise of discounted mustache cream.
So the Chiefs’ had a bad newsweek—quite an accomplishment when your team doesn’t play—but they weren’t alone. Other notable losers this week?
Bernard Lightning Hopkins: The ageless, 46 year old wonder suddenly became… aged. Ok, to be fair, he hasn’t been great in a number of years, but he has been winning… somehow. That changed on Saturday night, however, when he was beaten by a much younger, much hungrier Chad Dawson. The fight wasn’t without its controversy, though, as it was stopped only after Hopkins was unable to continue. This sort of this happens when your opponent picks you up and body slams you to the canvas. Hopkins suffered a dislocated shoulder in the exchange and reportedly plans to dispute the TKO ruling.
So who won on this card? Easy.
Most of us will never participate in a professional boxing match. Almost certainly, none of us will do it age 52. Fewer of us still will do it at age 52 after spending 26 years in prison for a murder we didn’t commit. Well, Dewey Bozella did it on Saturday night, and he won in the process, beginning and ending (he says he will not fight again) a boxing career that has “Clint Eastwood is attached to direct” all over it.
Congratulations to you, Mr. Bozella. It’s wonderful to see people achieve their dreams.
And speaking of, the dreamlike season for the Kansas State Wildcats continued this weekend, first with a comeback road victory over Texas Tech on Saturday, and then a number 12 ranking in the AP poll on Sunday. The number 12 ranking is their highest since 2004, and with each passing week, the Cats are making it harder and harder to dismiss them as nothing but a fluke. Nobody has ever disputed Bill Snyder’s abilities, but he seems to be doing more with less, better than ever before.
It wasn’t all gas-station roses and Whitman’s Samplers on the gridiron this weekend, though. After a surprising upset win in Detroit, San Fran head coach Jim Harbaugh lifted his shirt to show his pasty, white fish-belly, ran across the field like a lunatic and apparently, had some words with Lions’ head coach Jim Schwartz. The two had to be separated, lest one of them dislocate a shoulder while throwing a slap. There’s nothing funnier to me than two middle-aged football coaches going at it; I just can’t help but laugh. And as is usually the case, this simply succeeded in making both of them look like idiots. Look, you guys are both commandeering exciting, winning football teams… why not leave the posturing and grandstanding to the 60 minutes of regulation, okay?
And finally, let’s hear it for this weekend’s biggest winner, Nelson and the Cruz-ers. The Texas Rangers are making their second consecutive World Series appearance, the first time an AL team has back-to-backed since the New York Yankees did it in ’99 and 2000 (and ’98, for that matter… God was that a miserable era). A lot the Rangers’ ALCS success was precipitated by the absolutely amazing performance of right fielder Nelson Cruz, who easily took home ALCS MVP honors after setting records for home runs (6) and RBI (13) in a playoff series. Way to go, Cruz and Co., and furthermore, way to go Leftridge. In October 10th’s piece previewing the playoffs, I correctly picked that the Rangers would win the series in 6.
It’s about time I got something right.