Glazer: Forget the Death Wish, Time to Put the Pedal to the Metal

Nobody wants to die young…

However today, so many junior senior citizens seem to want to live forever. In their 60’s and 70’s many people talk about going on and on into their 90’s or even 100’s. Don’t get me wrong; stay in shape and have fun as long as you can.

But to aim your daily life at just hanging on forever may be a huge mistake.

There’s a big difference between enjoying life as we age and just putting on the brakes so you can live long enough to make it to the old folks home- the really old folks home.  Trust me living in extended care housing isn’t going to be a very fun time.

Like many of you, I’ve had a parent, grandparent or friend live in these places until they go to Hospice. And none of them were thrilled about it. Who would be?

Don’t you have friends or relatives that have been lucky or worked hard and have tons of cash saved?

And when you ask them if they’re gonna travel or buy that cool car they always wanted, maybe move to where somewhere nice and warm, they say, "Hey I can’t. I’m saving for the future." 

To people already in their 60’s I tell them, THE FUTURE IS HERE, BABY.

Another sad note is hanging onto everything you can for the kids. Because the nicest thing you can do for them is don’t stop living. Not because you want your kids to love you more when you are gone just because you left them some extra dough. Live your life.

I have a good pal who is in his 50’s and all he talks about is leaving more money for his sons. One’s already out of college and doing well; the other will be out soon. Their mother is a multi-millionaire and will always take care of these young men. Hey, the dad and mom helped get them through college. Neither of them really worked to get there.

Yet my pal denies himself travel and fun to save FOR THE FUTURE.

In today’s world, some people at 45 to 55 look ten or fifteen years younger, not many but some.

We have better medical care, work out, diet, and the media beats us with a stick to look good even if you are not a star. But don’t have Jewish or Christian guilt, have fun – it’s OK to let go. None of us are going to get out of this world alive. Now’s the time to go do all those things YOU WORKED ALL YOUR LIFE TO DO.

You earned it baby, go do it.

Yeah, even if the money is running low – and for most it likely is – do it anyway. Don’t live a life of quiet desperation. So when you’re in those final few weeks or months of life, you can say to yourself, "Know what, I had some fun and it was worth it."

Those were my mother’s last words to me before she passed away. "I had fun."

Can’t beat that, huh?
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35 Responses to Glazer: Forget the Death Wish, Time to Put the Pedal to the Metal

  1. Orphan of the Road says:

    I’ll carry no one’s cross but my own
    Raised a family, went from being a lover she’d celebrate to one she could barely tolerate.

    Stopping in KC to say goodbyes before it was all to end, I discovered maybe it wasn’t me who was fucked up. Well ok, I’m fucked up but I’m not alone.

    Took my guitar out of the closet and started up where I left off 33-years ago. Am I any good? Hell no but it exorcises some demons and keeps me young.

    Life is not a journey to the grave with the
    intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming – WOW – What a Ride!

  2. Eric says:

    My parents are getting up in age, are retired and are doing everything they can to have fun and experience things. They travel, they go out to eat, they go to plays and concerts downtown. They put us kids through college because they wanted to but now they are enjoying there lives and I don’t care if they leave me a dime. They deserve it.

  3. harley says:

    i don’t want to floor you…but this is a really good post. True as can be….
    You may not get 100 comments but its really good.
    I work out 4 times a week…wear the same size pants from 20 years ago…and i will not go
    silently into the night…no way baby…
    right on…..still got too much to do before i go.

  4. Cliffy says:

    “In today’s world, some people at 45 to 55 look ten or fifteen years younger …”

    You’re not one of them, Glazer. By the way, who named your comedy club among the top in the nation? Why don’t you answer the question?

  5. smartman says:

    What Harley Means
    By pants, is DIAPERS!

    Just like yin and yang, light and darkness, happiness and sadness, good and evil, death is a part of life; an opposite side of it. Not to be feared but welcomed and embraced.

    So live each day as it might be your last

    FUCK THE KIDS! Let ’em earn it like you did. Leave it to charity or start a foundation. Use your wealth to make a real difference in the life or lives of strangers.

    Your kids will piss it away 10 times faster than it took you to make it.

  6. JimmyD says:

    Hey Craig, looks like Smartman actually intends on paying up the $$$ on the Hosmer bet. You and I made a similar bet last year regarding Nick Wright’s ratings which resulted in a JimmyD win. Do I actually have to dig through the KCC archives to find the proof or if you want to man up I’ll accept Jim Jefferies tickets instead of cash. I attended his show earlier this year at Stanfords and laughed my ass off. He is the best

  7. kcfred says:

    Nice Job Glaze
    Really. Well written and timely. Raised three kids, put them all through college. One at Notre Dame ($$$). Wife died of leukemia unexpectently a few years ago. Thank God for three life insurance policies. While I miss her dearly, the one thing she said to do was “have some fun before I die”. I go to concerts all the time, baseball games (even drive to St. Louis to see the Cardinals) and try and live life to the fullest. My car and house are paid off and I date frequently (although she set the bar very high). I hope when He calls my number, I go quickly. Watching someone you love waste away in front of you is NO fun. So, you are very right on in this column.
    Well done, man.

  8. Craig Glazer says:

    Nice To See Even Some Comment Critiques Like This
    Thank you guys/ladies. We all agree seeing someone go out slowly is so tough, terrible, we don’t want to be them. You don’t know til you see it, then you think man thats just not what I want. Smartman, showed your words to the Johnny Dare producer, he is going to make the song happen, likely with his voice not mine, I wanted to do it, but lets see how it works out. Thanks again for the song, well done, really liked it, so did they. It might be NOT HARD ENOUGH on me for them, but we’ll see….

    As far as a bet on Nick, ok, not sure, but I believe you yes you can have some Jim Jefferies seats. He is here in March so get ahold of me two weeks before and we’ll get it done.

  9. smartman says:

    Jimmy, do I owe you the c-note on the Hosmer bet? Where you want me to send the money?

  10. Downtown Davey says:

    Yes This Is So True.
    Craig, like you I watched my mother pass away. She hung on for 8 weeks. So awful for her and all of us. Hope I go in my sleep. Everyone wants to say goodbye, but its just not worth it, too painful, too sad for everyone.

  11. pappster says:

    done. Its hard watching a close one go for everybody. My mom was probably on 2 planes in her life. They werent jets. Early 50s Vegas. Seeing Thomas like that was brutal.

  12. Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

    Good read.
    My father spent his entire life raising three sons, and being a good husband to my mother. We went on three real vacations during my entire childhood, which I felt lucky for. We lived sensibly and within our means. Dad worked a factory job for decades until he quit and started his own business which became very successful. Now in his 70’s he should be retired and enjoying the fruits of his labor, right? WRONG. Mom has Alzheimer’s and is getting worse by the month. By the time she passes, all his savings will be blown on her healthcare in a nursing home and he’ll die dead ass broke. It’s a bunch of bullshit. He and my mother would’ve been better off pissing their money away on lavish vacations after my brothers and I moved out. But they didn’t. They just sat on the money. In the end, they got to enjoy almost none of the benefits of saving their money for over 50 years. Bottom line…I’m not saving for a day that may never come. I’m going to take vacations to tropical destinations when I can. I’m taking my kids to Disneyland. I will help my kids out with college as much as I can, but who can afford that shit anymore? And I’m not even sure college is worth it!

  13. Robertoe says:

    thumbs up
    Even the comments section has re-interjected some class into this KCC website. I’ve moved in with a 91 year old aunt who’s going blind so this resonates. My mom died of ovarian cancer when she was 47 and I was 12 so we don’t always have to deal with parental old age problems.

    I’ve personally done about 20 month-plus trips into East Europe and Russia after the wall came down and South America over the last decade. Several of these were 2-3 months long. The secret is to stay single and answer to no one except yourself. You can live cheap if you forgo the BS status symbols.

    Some of the greatest folks I’ve met were expats who dropped out of the system years ago. Its great meeting foreigners and different cultures but they type of Americans you meet are a different stellar breed, or at least I frigging relate to them.

    When the shit hits the fan somewhere (like the Mediterranean now) get a ticket and go! The dollar usually has good buying power in a post meltdown environment. Find the Irish bars. The Irish have set up bars all over the world, even places like Tajikistan. You’ll find English speakers. You’ll find entrepreneurial types. You’ll find folks who like to drink. And they’ll tell you anything! If you have a way to make a good living with an internet connection from anywhere, you are all set. When my Aunt passes on, I’m setting forth again.

    Oil prices are going into the stratosphere soon. Go now!

    “The richness of life is adventure.”

  14. Tiger Tail says:

    Live Forever
    Hey Glaze maybe they will invent a live forever pill. How’d that be? Except you look like a prune after you turn 95! Nah, lets all just have fun while we are here. Good story and I agree with you.

  15. smartman says:

    If your parents have any substantial wealth and do not have a long term health care policy YOU NEED TO GET THEM TO AN ATTORNEY THAT SPECIALIZES IN ESTATE PLANNING YESTERDAY!

    In addition to the estate planninf I can’t stress enough the need for a will, a living will and a durable power of attorney in the event they cannot make decisions for themselves.

    God forbid they have to go into a nursing home because EVERYTHING gets liquidated before Medicare/Medicaid kicks in for nursing home care. At a minimum you’re looking at around SIX GRAND A MONTH!

    In the event that only one parent needs nursing home care the other will be left with the house and about $30K in cash. You gotta cash out all your stock, life insurance policies, fucking anything of any value.

    Granted the well spouse does get the opportunity to spend some cash for reasonable things like home improvements or a new car. In the end it’s not pretty, particulary if your parents saved. It ALL goes to Uncle Sam.

    The good news, if there is any in these circumstances is that if either parent is a military veteran the available benefits are OUTRAGEOUS.

    Don’t wait around on this stuff. The clock is already ticking. Get them to an estate planning attorney YESTERDAY! Get all the paperwork lined out. You will avoid a freaking nightmare for you, your siblings and most importantly YOUR PARENTS

  16. chuck says:

    Nice post Glaze.
    I like the idea of runnin straight into the muzzle flash after every round is spent. Who has the gun?

    Shufflin that mortal coil, has been a subject of interest for me since Oct. of 87. Over these last 24 years, I have tried to divest myself of pronouns, to see the future, only to find out, there might not be any such thing as time. Big fuck up everybody. Who knew?

    Slipping in and out of an ever changing identity, encumbered with imaginary loss and gain, I smell the dinner cookin, but never get to eat.

    Waxing, waning enthusiasms take on lives of their own, complete with transitory identities.

    My mother and father grew ever more religious in their dotage, it might of paid off, they both passed in an instant. She, in her sleep, he bitching about a thermostat (A good blue collar Furnace and Air Conditioning guy, his whole life, a final salute to the noble salt of his personal earth.).

    Ernest Becker said that fear of death, was, is, the primary source of ALL motivation, for ANY action we take (After all those college kids busted their ass studying Freud with their dicks in their hands.). Our ability to compartmentalize the expectation of death, is the only thing that enables us to function at all, on a daily basis.

    This paroxysm of activity, vacations, travel, spending sprees, booze, drugs, barfights (Sorry, I need to relate too.) brought on by the realization of an impending ending, is, once again, a noble and worthy sentiment. We, who are about to die, fuckin salute you, and spend all your inheritance!!!


    My studies, for what they are worth, have led me to believe, that Occidental Ecclesiastical efforts and education, are just more denial, and in fact, spread and infuse more fear. Similar secular efforts to distract us (See Glaze’s column today.), are just that, distractions.

    Cue Mr. Roosevelt. “We have nothing to fear, but fear itself.”

    I hope I am not to afraid, to blow my brains out when I can’t even wipe my ass by way of some infliction. Its just another way to go, kinda like mom and dad.

    Me, I think, and I am just guessing because I have never been able to really grasp the Oriental takes on life and death (Which, by the way, to me at least, make a hell of a lot more sense, than Mr. Becker and his fuckin Pulitze Prize.), that we Westerners are misdirected by way of chance and circumstance, to a life of more fear, than is necessary.

    Just my opinion.

    After that, would it be outta line to say God Bless You Guys??


  17. harley says:

    how old am i
    went to the journey concert last night..missed steve perry. But i took my girlfriend and her daughter. the concert brought back som any
    great memories of partying and no cares in the world..listening to the music and saying man this is great.
    I think as we get older we have less of those really fun times. Maybe its because we forget how to laugh. Maybe we become so
    hardened that the simple things we enjoyed as kids just arent so muc hfun anymore.
    I watch kids and they laugh all the time. They get a laugh out of such simple things. Then when you get older its harder to laugh.
    Maybe we all need to go to glazes place more often. Its hard to laugh anymore. Everyone seems tense and rigid. the economics
    of the times makes it tough…and many people feel helpless.
    Both my parents were killed. Took probably 10 years off my life.
    Love your parents while you can. They can never never never be replaced.

  18. harley says:

    smartmans right
    i think theres arule that you have to transfer the assetts like 5 or 7 years ahead of time…so it takes some planning…
    smartman probably knows…

  19. smartman says:

    Harley Has BALLS!
    Admitting in this forum that you went to see JOURNEY with that You-Tube sensation Filipino Steve Perry wannabe TAKES BALLS! Of all the crazy shit you’ve said and done that tops it all.

    Did Neal Schon have that White House party crasher in tow or is he on to the next piece of cooze already?

    Hope you got some LOVIN-TOUCHIN AND SQUEEZIN last night.

  20. Matt says:

    Your best post yet…
    Now back to sex please…

  21. marky mark says:

    I’m Thirty And Don’t Care
    I am living my life, you older guys are funny man.

  22. randyraley says:

    marky mark
    Hey, that’s cool. So did I. I went to sleep one night . I woke up and I was 50. Shit. Who knew?

  23. Super Dave says:

    Well Cliffy he isn’t going to answer you it appears. But hey you got lucky least he didn’t call you a loser or a moron.

  24. kcfred says:

    …nails it again. Randy, I miss you on the radio. Too bad you’re not here. Hope you are well, my friend.

  25. Dr. Kevorkian says:

    I put Harley’s parents down, at their request.
    Then I did 10 years in the pen.

    Poor bastards, they couldn’t take another second.

  26. Radio Man says:

    Death Becomes You
    When we are young we worry about money, a great job, a wife, a car, kids. When we get to be say 55 or 60 we worry about retiring and where and for how long before we can’t screw, eat or have to see doctors every day. We hurry to grow up, then find out it sucks.

  27. Orphan of the Road says:

    One comforting thought
    We are all born terminal.

    From the cradle to the crypt is a mighty short trip.

    Life’s a gamble, anyway you play it. Balls to the walls or close to the vest.

    Take comfort in the thought Elvis died, straining at stool and reading porno. His daughter then marries Michael Jackson.

  28. Jack Bat says:

    Life Is Strange Than You Die
    Oh yeah, its a long journey then when its at the end, it all seemed to go so fast. My Daddy told me that a week before he passed away.

  29. Kerouac says:

    No means of proving it is preferable to be than not to be…
    I embrace Cioran his takes, variously… here’s five more

    “We should have been excused from lugging a body… the burden of the self was enough.”
    “Life is merely a fracas on an unmapped terrain, and the universe a geometry stricken with epilepsy.”
    “It is not worth the bother of killing yorself, since you always kill yourself too late.”
    “My mission is to kill time, and time’s to kill me in its turn. How comfortable one is among murderers.”
    “Man starts over again everyday, in spite of all he knows, against all he knows.”

  30. chuck says:

    Not bad Kerouac, how do ya like this one?
    I silently laugh
    at my own cenotaph,
    and out of the caverns of rain,
    Like a child from the womb,
    Like a ghost from the tomb,
    I arise and unbuild it again.

    Shelly–“The Cloud”.

  31. chuck says:


  32. T says:

    You’ve got everyone all sentimental…
    not a hater in sight. Hire me for your personal PR? xoxo

  33. Kerouac says:

    My favorite just for the beautiful lyricism the words…
    “There are nights when the future cancels out, when only one of all its moments subsists, the one we shall choose in order to exist no longer”… yet another gem from EM, Cioran that is.


  34. Black Barbie says:

    This Weekend Baby
    I can see you Sunday. My girl told me you got a hot new ride babe. I want to see it and hang. You have the new number. What is all this death stuff, for real, everything will be ok.

  35. Merle Tagladucci says:

    Late comment here but as I’ve gotten older I pay more attention to my elders when they advise people to take a big bite out of life. When you’re young you tend to do that instinctively but as you age you become more careful, so it’s good to be reminded once in a while that life is worth living. “If you’re not busy living, you’re busy dying.”

    Other words of wisdom that don’t ring true until you’ve reached a certain age: “I wish I’d taken better care of my teeth.”

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