The ship done sank before it left the dock…
Everything that you need to know happened in the first drive. Back to back 15-yard penalties against the Chiefs. A fumbled interception by Jon ‘Yee-haw’ McGraw. Our newly minted $50 million dollar man getting blasted for a touchdown.
The summation of the game reads like some sort of Kafkaesque nightmare crafted specifically to cost a head coach his job. Six turnovers. An anemic offense. A porous defense. Eight penalties for 70 yards to their 4/35. You’re never going to win this game on the road. EVER. You’re rarely going to pull this kind of thing off at home.
And perhaps the biggest blow of all was the injury to Jamaal Charles. Look, almost nobody in their right mind thought that the Chiefs would be winning the division this year, but strident optimists thought that maybe they’d be able to crap out 8 or 9 wins. If Charles is out for any extended period of time, however, all bets are off. It will mean that they’ve firmly planted themselves in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes, though.
On Saturday night, the Royals made it 7 in a row.
When was the last time the boys in blue won seven in a row? September of 2008. You know, when Eric Hosmer was sweating his way through Hop on Pop. It’s a crying shame that they can’t pull this off in July when it actually matters. Rookie Everett Teaford had a second consecutive start brimming with encouragement. Moose homered. So did Frenchy.
Hell yes, boys, taste that sweet nectar of success. Live it, love it, hopefully find it early and often in ’12.
Kansas is a fluke, and they proved it handily on Saturday by getting curb-stomped, 66-24.
They gave up more yards than anyone ever in the history of yardage (as far as a I can tell; I didn’t bother to consult the record books). 10th straight overall road loss for the Hawks, 768 total yards allowed. Good luck with that fellas.
If you’re playing the Leathernecks of the Football Championship Subdivision, greatness is anticipated. The Missouri Tigers fulfilled that prophecy by trouncing Western Illinois 69-0. Though Mizzou set a team record with 744 yards of total offense, let’s go ahead and not pencil in similar results for next week’s game with top-ranked Oklahoma.
K-State continued their yeoman-like effort with a 37-0 pounding of Kent State. Except it didn’t seem as impressive as the score made it sound. You know, because it was Kent State. Sorry, Wildcats. Oh, and by the way—best of luck next week on the road against Miami.
This Week’s Winner:
The Corpse of Donovan McNabb. Despite the Vikings loss to the Bucs, he likely staved off the unemployment line for one more week with his blistering 228 yards on 18 of 30 attempts. And yes, it’s fair to call this ‘blistering’ after last week’s 37-yard passing debacle that disguised itself as an effort.
This Week’s Loser:
It’s too time-consuming to lambast the whole Chiefs organization, so we’ll pick on one person in particular. Over his last four games, Matt Cassel is 57-109 for 437 yards, with one solitary touchdown and nine pickoffs. His quarterback rating over this period is ‘negative penis.’