I come here not to bury Caesar, but to praise him…
Caesar’s Palace, that is. Well, they were sold out, so had to go to my old favorite the RIO. You see it on TV with the Texas Hold ‘Em championship. Decent, but not as good as Caesar’s. Oh well, maybe I’ll learn not to book stuff at the last minute.
Had to fly to Phoenix first to save 500 bucks. That’s right, a round trip, last minute, day before, non stop flight cost $950. Mine was $465, not good, but oh well.
Next my new suit case wouldn’t fit into my brother’s new Porsche Boxster. So my Dad had to drive me to airport. Christ, he bitched the entire time.
"So you got money to bet on the NFL, but none to help out old dad, huh? Your brothers will screw everything up when you are gone, as always (not true). Got a broad waiting out there for you?"
On and on and nothing good.
Clear skies, warm weather, US Air full of fat people.
I drank a big Starbucks and got a little sick. Flight was the bumpiest ever- terrible. Even got sick in the too small bathroom. It was smaller than a prison visiting room toilet. And that’s pretty small.
Had an hour plus layover in Arizona. Had another Starbucks and washed it down with a taco. Now I’m really sick.
More fat people, my seatmate weighed like 450. I’m not kidding. Nice guy from St. Louis. He blocked my going to toilet five times. This flight was even more turbulent. Brother. Met a hottie – a dancer, not a stripper but a showgirl – very hot. Got her cell, naturally. That was before I got sick, After she noticed my sweating kinda backed off me. Good one.
Was in bathroom so long the lady flight attendent banged on the door and asked, "Sir, are you OK?"
Told her I was, but she said DUE TO THE HIGH TERROR ALERT THEY HAD TO OPEN THE DOOR AND SEE!
Can you believe it? So I opened the door, showed them my complete mess and everything was OK.
Landed, lost the girl, waited an hour for my one bag. Went to get a cab. It was 6p.m. and 1,000 people were waiting for cabs. I wanted to get sick again, but was in line. Got to the hotel at 655 p.m., placed a two hundred dollar bets quickly on MU over ASU. Got 10 points. Nice. Went to my room, got sick again.
No girls, no nightlife, no nothing.
Just TV, a game and when I woke this morning at 5 AM and went to ESPN, I found out my poor Tigers lost in overtime but covered 37/30. First good news of the trip.
I hope Leaving Las Vegas is better…