Hearne: Gunslinger Sportswriter Wanted; Fumble Fingers Need Not Apply

Ready to get star struck?

Find yourself moping and daydreaming all day? Fantascizing becoming the next Matt Donnelly or something?

Mope no more.

KC Confidential is looking for someone to help lighten the onerous burden of almost single handedly carrying the entire Greater Kansas City and Lawrence sports scene upon his back; World’s Humblest Scribe, field marshall Craig Glazer.

That’s right (and he’s always right), this may be the opportunity you’ve dreamed of. The day you prayed for but feared would ever come. And now it’s here.

A word of caution though, two things: You gotta be smarter than me and Craig combined – shouldn’t be a problem – and you positively gotta be able to write. Wouldn’t hurt if you could spell either and keep song lyrics straight.

Finally, in no way is this our contribution to helping end unemployment. On the contrary, this is our way of providing journalistic shelter to a sportswriter with True Grit.

But enough….hit hearne@kcconfidential.com if interested.

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35 Responses to Hearne: Gunslinger Sportswriter Wanted; Fumble Fingers Need Not Apply

  1. Bill says:

    Last guy decide to drop out…
    I think it is time to give Harley his own column. LOL

  2. Jim says:

    Harley if………
    If spelling, grammar, sentence structure, coherent thoughts and actually having a point is NOT required……..Harley is your man.

  3. BS Nerdlaw says:

    So let me get this straight….
    Your next sportswriting candidate has to be able to spell and write?

    They can’t write phrases like “Tamba Hali is a good Sacker”, or “Sure, Jamaal Charles can do the yardage”? You want your write to show general knowledge and terms associated with what a typical sportswriter would write?

    They can’t combine short-choppy half-sentences with long run-on sentences? No articles filled with non-stop grammatical errors?

    No “um” or “uh” in every other sentence?

    So what you’re saying is…Your new sportswriter is going to be held to a higher standard than your current one?

    Just checking.

  4. Rick says:

    Ahhh…BS that would be a

  5. Cliffy says:

    Or somebody who writes “voila” instead of “walla” (that was my favorite Glazerism).

  6. Bob Loblaw says:

    The best is when Glazer quotes himself.

  7. PB says:

    Does it…
    …pay? And is there a certain quota involving Chiefs/Royals/Kansas City in general sucks stories?

    In an unrelated note, I believe your pop up Knuckleheads ad is erroneous. The advance tix for that Trout/Popovic/Gomes show are $18.50, not $12.

  8. chuck says:

    Did Rick get pissed and quit?
    Not being a smartass, just askin

  9. smartman says:

    Reek geet heem a reel yob. He rite or sometheeng fore TMZ.

    Crazee Tracee sayee she geet heem the yob and he no tankful two herz

    Das all I No.

  10. Rick says:

    Smartman very funny!!!!! Seriously Smartman. We know Greg has been bugging u for ages to write. Here is a shot for you. I support you.

    Hearne my suggestion is that you actually have a rotation of four writers. One per week. That way us readers get various takes and vantage points.

    You would also be able (and this answers ur question PB) get a way with not paying because this method it would be about someone having a hobby or doing something for fun and not expecting payment of services rendered.

  11. Rick says:

    @ chuck-the untold story
    It’s ok 2 even if u were being a smart ass. Smartman is mostly accurate.

    I wrote a total of five articles. Four which saw the light of day. Harlow this should help you with your math abilities since u apparently were only able to count one.

    Hearne was pleased with the first and less so with the rest.

    Would not say communication was strong. Pay was an issue. I also wanted to do things other then sports. I only agreed to a two week run. And then heard very little. Kind of a we’ll call you but never heard back deal.

    It was fun but harder then what I thought it would be and time consuming. Hearne I think felt he was getting a polished writer and I can assure that is not the case. Though I am the only writer for this site that has a book I “researched” in a hall of fame.

    My sometimes girlfriend works for TMZ and is on TV daily (Eat ur heart out Glaze) and came into town but I spent little time with her because I was working on KCC stuff. When she went back to LA the boss asked her how her time was with me and she bitched that I spent all my time working on KCC. He then went to the site read my stuff and offered a job.

    It is not a full time gig but pays some $$$. I still maintain my full time work like Hall.

    By the way Hearne shouldn’t feel he is the only cheap miser in the world. Harvey Levin is also notoriously cheap. In fact at one time the girlfriend made more money as a nanny (which she still does) then she did working for TMZ.

    Thanks for asking Chuck. And assuming this doesn’t get removed you now know the Rick version of the story. It was fun and I was grateful for the opportunity. And obviously no hard feelings as I continue to post.

  12. BS Nerdlaw says:

    Good idea, Rick….
    …on the rotation of four writers.

    I think all of them should remain anonymous. It would allow for more honest writing, and would let them write their viewpoints and opinions without any worry of backlash. You would know them simply by the nicknames they’ve already established on this site.

  13. Rick says:

    or concur

  14. chuck says:

    smartman–very funny 🙂
    Rick, how fuckin polished ya gotta be?


    The content and rational , interesting context, mixed wiht opinion should be the criteria. The subject matter, I assume would have a local flavor with commentary and information relating to local teams.

    Occasionally addressing personalities and issues with sports in general, and correlations and variables that reflect, once again, local opinions positive and negative.

    A SOUNDING BOARD that offers an opportunity for input and intercourse (Oops, strayed into Glaze’s field of expertise.), er…, discussion. (Grinning).

    BTW, I like Glaze’s take on the Royals.

    But I digress.

    We don’t need Chris Hitchens, or William Faulkner, we need a water cooler guy with the gift of gab and a thick skin.

    Whats the problem???

  15. chuck says:

    “It was fun but harder then what I thought it would be and time consuming. Hearne I think felt he was getting a polished writer and I can assure that is not the case.”

    smartman could do this while polishing his knob and typing left handed.

    I would need to google a lot.

    Hearne, stop by UMKC and get a four or five kids to audition.

    That would be a lotta fun.

    Everyone, all of us, would be on their best behaviour.


  16. Rick says:

    @ Chuck
    Humm…let me put this delicately. In fairness Hearne has responsibilities. He writes, he chooses the pictures and titles for the articles. I’m not sure the amount of time he does but I’m sure he has to maintain the site. Also some writers require a great deal of editing. I obviously needed some editing. So I think one of the feelings on his part was that it was to time consuming to “clean” up my stuff so to speak. That was never said directly to me but was an impression I got.

    I obviously would respond two fold. One that kind of comes with the territory. A banker has to count money. If you have a site where writers write you got to edit. Two I would let the writer live and die on his own. I mean we have seem Craig take beatings over his missteps. So I didn’t necessarily see a need to edit. But remember this is Hearne’s baby and he RIGHTFULLY has standards.

    In a some what unrelated issue. I felt KCC could become more then what it was and I felt something I brought to the table was a desire to be more interactive. Just like a radio station does remotes at local sports bars I wanted to interact more with the readers. One of the advantages I had over say Greg Hall with a family or Craig that has a thriving business is I have more free time. With the GF in California she doesn’t require a lot. So i wanted to get out and interact with the readers and make KCC more well known in sports bars etc..

    By the way u see that with TMZ. Polls and things of that nature. Heck they even now have a freakin Hollywood tour bus.

    That idea was never rejected but I don’t think we had the same vision so to speak. Just my take.

  17. Rick says:

    Funny u should mention
    the idea of going to UMKC and getting writers. I told both Hearne and Tracy, especially when discussing money or lack there of issues,. go get some college kids that want to pad their resume to write for you. They will be happy to get the experience. heck maybe they could even work in a college credit.

    Now that idea was rejected and I was told that no one would want to do that. But yet here we are weeks after that suggestion and we are asking readers of the site to write. I think it is a valid idea and he should get some positive results. We’ll see.

  18. Hearne Christopher says:

    He keeps threatening, but I suspect he’s all talk

  19. Hearne Christopher says:

    No, they cannot. Thanks for asking.

  20. Hearne Christopher says:

    That was a good one. Sorry I missed it.

  21. Hearne Christopher says:

    Interesting idea but that’s exactly what the Star is doing in Local now.

    They dumped the two paid Local columnists and are making the rank and file reporters chip in like every fourth time (likely) for free.

    The trouble with four diff people is similar to Star; not enuff frequency to get readers familiarized. Plus here’s the deal. Do you know how hard it is to find one person who can do this well?

    I remember talking to Greg Hall a few months back about his old Web site that he used to run full time – never sold an ad – and how he tried adding all these people but couldn’t find anybody else that could write worth a damn. Presumably, for free.

    Craig may not be God’s gift to the English language, but he clearly has a voice, plenty of moxie and is very passionate. And rough-hewn though he may be, that actually goes a long way.

  22. Hearne Christopher says:

    No, the best is when he thinks and says something and then repeats it, saying he agrees with you like it was your idea

  23. Hearne Christopher says:

    Who said I felt like a cheap miser? Let alone the only one in the world.

  24. Hearne Christopher says:

    No problem, Chuck.

    But it’s a lot harder to do than you make it sound. Read any of those new Star columnists efforts lately? And those guys are in the biz getting paid with tons of experience and editors.

    Do you know how many people flunked out of trying to replace Brisbane and a couple others? A ton. And some of the few that half ass made it for awhile would never have made the cut if any sort of ratings system had dictated their success.

    The Star is still a monopoly. A monopoly in decline, for sure, but nobody else really comes close in information and reach. As such, they could afford for decades to suit up mediocre guys like Steve Penn and a certain Hispanic woman columnist.

    You guys see how often CNN turns over talent? That’s because if whoever’s on the screen doesn’t attract enough eyeballs to keep their ratings up, they’re gone. Now how many people do you think take the Star for the aforementioned columnists?

  25. chuck says:

    I got a call into Gib Twyman
    He said he is busy copying and pasting, he will get back to me.

    He wants to know what it pays.

  26. Harlow says:

    Hearne Just Have Tryouts
    Have people just send in stories post the ones you like and we’ll all vote. By the way its clear about one thing comment whores, we all love to read Glazer like him or not.

  27. bschloz says:

    999 Sports
    I think Glaze is great on Sports — Here everyone thought he was Warren Beatty when he was Jack Klugman all along.
    Glaze is Glaze…good blogger –it just feeds his ego like all the good ones. Therapy on demand.
    Probably has hundreds of dollars of exprired Free Hamburger script in the dresser.

    Can’t believe Nick Wright or Keitzman wouldn’t want to post on KCC….Hearne you own the demo man— Old fuckers with cash? .

  28. Rick says:

    4 Hearne
    The cheap miser reputation….one I have been told is well deserved…comes primarily from the now banned Tracy Thomas.

  29. Rick says:

    More answers 4 Hearne
    Building familiarity. You stated a drawback to the have several writers is that its difficult to breed familiarity. Not sure if I agree. Again if you have four people and each does a week and say puts out 3-5 articles in that week that would seem to build familiarity. If I dated one gal for one week and I had 3-5 dates with her don’t you think I would have a pretty good idea if I liked her or not? Heck on this site you can tell a lot about a person just after a few posts. So I don’t think I need one writer for six months to breed familiarity.

    Turn over in Star and CNN talent. The logic behind that is just because one media outlet is a boob I should be one also. Most people in the entertainment industry and the media industry don’t realize that their can be many roads to success. Let’s take TV as an example. Some TV shows are put on and our instant hits like Lost and Modern Family. But surprisingly some of the most biggest and most enduring successes were slow builds and didn’t light the world on fire. All In The Family and Cheers were not rating smashes when they started out. But they built an audience piece by piece and became legends.

    The same applies to KCC. You can have a guy like Glazer who had name recognition prior to writing a word and had star stories to tell. He had some instant success. Or you can find a writer and see if he can build an audience. While Hall was a name when he came here. He was someone that built an audience. So their is more then one road to success. But obviously one road you have to be more patient then the other.

    And not bragging but the fact that I only wrote a few times and its been over a month, yet I still get an occasional mention says that while maybe lukewarm their was some interest or a start of some build up. So the next gay or gal give some time and a longer leash and see what happens.

    Back to Glazer the question I would always ask is does he attract more then he detracts?

  30. chappy says:

    Wow Rick…
    After reading your last post I think I understand why you didn’t quite work out on this site. Are you comparing Cheers to your writing?

    I also really love when you say, “So the next gay or gal give some time…” Hilarious.

  31. Rick says:

    Actually I comparing Cheers to that current post because with the “next gay” remark I’m obviously throwing back with Norman and Cliffy at the 810 Zone.

  32. Hearne Christopher says:

    Uh, consider the source

  33. Hearne says:

    I’m heartened by your comments
    Obviously, while you guys love to barbecue me – and to a thankfully greater extent, Craig – you obviously wouldn’t be weighing in unless you cared. I don’t want to go Sally Field on you guys or anything, but for the record I’m on the lookout.

    Had a few emails of interest, but they seemed way to dull for your guy’s appetites.

    So we’ll see.

    Meantime you’ve got me and Craig and Matt to kick around, have at us.

  34. Rick says:

    Glaze is on the
    lookout also but I understand its for a totally different thing then you.

    Hold on to your hat. I keep hearing rumors that some massive names are interested in this position and will be applying shortly. We’ve already seen some hints. I think it will happen.

  35. Rick says:

    now that u love Mike Hendricks again maybe u can ask him.

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