Glazer: Humble Scribe Brushes Critics Aside With Gloom & Doom Chiefs Forecast

Your humble scribe tried to warn you a month ago that this year’s Chiefs team was not any good…

Using stats to do so, no less. Still many of you doubted my NFL knowledge. Now let’s look at where the team is today.


The only real bright spots in a terrible preseason are Ricky Stanzi, new defensive star Justin Houston and maybe Derrick Johnson. The offensive line was horrible. So was the defensive line. We showed ZERO offense, except for Ricky (cause he’s so fine he blows our minds).

Quarterback Matt Cassel has graded an F.

The Chiefs ranked last or next to last in rushing, passing, defense and scoring. We averaged eight points, last in the NFL.

Does this mean we’ll be a doormat? Sadly, yes.

In fact, the first game here against the Buffalo Bills is a MUST win. That’s right a MUST WIN. A loss to the Bills will send this team to at least an 0-3 start. In which they’re done with – over and out.

After that, Todd Haley will be battling for his job. So will THE FRANCHISE. That phony division title won’t mean much if the Chiefs lose more than 10 games, and that can happen. You are not going to beat Detroit in Detroit or San Diego. Likely we won’t beat the Vikings either so an 0-4 start is not out of the question if we lose to the Bills on the home opener.

I found it funny this morning listening to local sports talk radio. It sounded like they finally all agreed with me, albeit three weeks later. NOBODY thinks this team can compete and win much. NOBODY. We have nothing defined on this squad. Neither line, the quarterback, no sure receivers except the iffy D-Bowe. Even our rushing game is suspect. After Jamaal Charles, then who? Charles proved he cannot do the short yardage needed on 3rd or 4th down. And Thomas Jones was worse.

So you ask your humble scribe, "Can the season be saved?"

Uh, no. This team has no confidence; they walk out onto the field like they just got a shot of heroin in their butts. The only time I see a skip in their step is when Ricky is out there. How long before Ricky takes over, you ask? Maybe four to five games. Build around a talented quarterback and maybe, just maybe, Ricky is that guy. We’ll soon find out.

By the way the Chiefs current record of late is 2-8 – that’s right – we’ve lost five in a row going back to the Oakland blow-out at Arrowhead.

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17 Responses to Glazer: Humble Scribe Brushes Critics Aside With Gloom & Doom Chiefs Forecast

  1. harley says:

    I can see this . Haley was not pioli and hunts first choice for coach. They didn’t
    really expect this to come. But if glaze is right about an 0-4 start…look for zorn to
    move quickly into the head coach spot. Zorn has bigger things in mind…he wants another
    head coaching job. Haley better wake this team up.
    Who’s running this team….they’ve got bowe and a rookie reciever…better find some speed burner
    quick…or they will fall apart on offense.
    NO free agents…no new players to light up the offense….it could be ugly.

  2. harley says:

    Saw the other teams…
    last years playoff teams…most of them are on fire.
    Thier offenses look good…they arte moving the ball. Our offense is lazy…they played together
    last year so why is it taking so long for them to jell.
    I hope its not a bad season….i can’t handle 4 months of the chiefs problems….
    lets hope glaze is wrong.

  3. JayhawkTony says:

    You’re using info gleaned from watching three preseason games in which the starters have played maybe a TOTAL of three quarters (and many much less)? Not to mention that Haley has been true-to-his-word in that he doesn’t “tip his cap” to the opponents with the plays he’s using?


    Once again, you show that your year’s as a drug addict have wiped away whatever sense you may have had in that pea-sized brain of yours.

  4. chuck says:

    Did the sky just hit me in the head???
    chuckin little is running for cover!!!

    Gimme a fuckin break Glaze.

    Its pre season.

    I will guide ya outta this next week.

    Its like a Moody Blues song with you, “Breathe Deep, The Gathering Gloom…”


  5. Merle Tagladucci says:

    Clicked on it, didn’t read it. Just doing my part to keep Glazer’s hit count up so Hearne keeps him around for the comedy.

  6. chuck says:

    As of 20 minutes ago, here is Cap Room for ALL NFL Teams
    Chiefs: $32.7 million.

    Buccaneers: $29.5 million.

    Bengals: $29 million.

    Jaguars: $28 million.

    Broncos: $24.5 million.

    Bills: $24.4 million.

    Bears: $19.3 million.

    Browns: $18.8 million.

    Seahawks: $18.3 million.

    49ers: $15.4 million.

    Packers: $12.8 million.

    Patriots: $12.5 million.

    Redskins: $11 million.

    Jets: $10.7 million.

    Dolphins: $9.5 million.

    Cardinals: $9.4 million.

    Titans: $7.9 million.

    Panthers: $7.7 million.

    Cowboys: $6.3 million.

    Raiders: $5.3 million.

    Giants: $4.6 million.

    Saints: $4.3 million.

    Colts: $3.7 million.

    Chargers: $2.7 million.

    Ravens: $2.3 million.

    Texans: $2.2 million.

    Steelers: $2.2 million.

    Eagles: $2.1 million.

    Falcons: $1.8 million.

    Rams: $750,000.

    Lions: $730,000.

    Vikings: $370,000.

    Final cuts = Many Green Bay Packers in Chiefs Uniforms. I hope.

  7. harley says:

    he could have gone and bought some incredible talent…or gotten into the bidding wars with
    32 million dollars. It looks like he took some lessons from mr. glass of the royals.
    I never thought i’d see the day when mr. glass and clark hunt would follow the smae
    business philosophy. If this continues we can only think that the chiefs will dwindle into
    oblivion based on these salary cap numbersd.

  8. bschloz says:

    I thought Lance Rentzel was the only NFL player to ever take exhibition season seriously?

    Don’t lose your cool factor trying to handicap exhibition football.
    All I want to do is win the West and see if we can get on a roll..

    Just checked week 1 line Chiefs -6.5 V Bills.
    Bet against Pioli and lose your patio furniture.

  9. Cliffy says:

    Glazer is a clown and I’ve decided to appreciate him as such. Keep it up … as Merle says … funny stuff.

  10. chuck says:

    With 32 Mill bucks, I gotta think,
    that Barry “Toll Booth” Richardson is delegated to a more appropriate role.

    Like, a fuckin cinnamon roll, or a “creamed” cheese croissant.

  11. i hope harley is wrong...but he may not be says:

    !!!Not Zorn Please!!!
    harley struck a chord with me. I can actually see the chiefs tanking this season and going for Andrew Luck even…and not on purpose, just flat out tanking because they stink.

    I think that haley needs this year and this year only to prove himself, and if he does with this tough schedule then i am drinking his koolaid. i just think Zorn has proven he is a position coach only.

    btw haley’s record is 14-18 at .412
    zorn’s is 12-20 at .375
    crennel’s is 24-40 at .375

    so lets cut haley some slack, let him do his job and enjoy some football,

    we might get to see some real good teams kick the crap out of the chiefs

    or we might be pleasantly surprised

  12. Rick says:

    Obviously Glaze isn’t getting any loving so he keeps writing the same Chiefs column. Hopefully he’ll wake up when the pre season is over and learn that none of those games counted. But I’m not holding my breath.

  13. richardcranium says:

    As usual, solid comedic effort by the greasy, hairy, one. The highest level of comedy comes at his use of “WE” as though he had any input, owned a portion of, played on, or in any fashion had any direct interest in the NFL team known as the Kansas City Chiefs. I absolutely enjoy watching this train wreck attempt to type out anything remotely related to anything not involving elderly women of ill repute, or thing associated with drug trafficing in the 90s. Keep cranking out those jems long knocker, you are a prince among “scribes”.

  14. Cowboy says:

    Glazer Take Heart
    You are by far one of the most interesting writers online today. Funny guy, and smart. Don’t let these fools get to you. The Chiefs as you reported are and will be a ‘doormat’ winning maybe six games. If they win eight, that would be outstanding for this untalened group. Yes they have about six really good players, but after that average or below. No linemen, none. How can these comment people poke fun of you Glazer, oh yeah the drugs, like they never did any, my lordy. Hey I did, my brain is fine, so is yours Glazer. I haven’t forgotten your post season picks last year. I had the Steelers, I was wrong, you were right. Oh I forgot, I am you. Glazer your breakdown is correct. Not sure about old Ricky. Maybe.

  15. Rick says:

    be Tracy Thomas ?

  16. KU Forever says:

    You may not Craig Glazer for many other reasons, but his take is sound. This team looks to be in big trouble. Big trouble. I don’t see what will save them. The coach can only do so much. They didn’t get any help. The one big help, receiver is out for maybe the year, the other buy from Arizona, who knows? Like I always tell you Kansas City Fans, we only have one great organization, the KU JayHawks Basketball baby. We are the shit.

  17. Cool Tool says:

    Chiefs Will Win The Divsion
    Glazer you know nothing about football.The Chiefs will win the west at 11-5. They didn’t have a good preseason last year and won it, dummy. You must be a Raider fan.

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