Glazer: Hang onto Your Parents, No Matter How Bad They May be

We only have one mother and one father – I mean real ones…

Not someone who married one of your parents after they split. It’s tough being a child to a parent. Too many parents expect way too much. And often parents live vicariously through their offspring.

My father, Stan, was the kind of parent who just didn’t want to be one.

People who know him and my brothers say Stan Glazer was a terrible father.

Without a doubt. All three of his sons – me included – ended up in prison at one point or another.

 Not his fault, but he was the head coach if you follow that line of thinking. However to simply blame a parent for all of our problems isn’t fair either.

We all make choices right.

My dear friend Debbie Mandry – aka The Mermaid – who has been a regular reader and contributor to this website in the comments section, was told a few days ago her mother has a very serious, life threatening illness. Out of respect I won’t go more into the details, but she’s of course crushed. Her father is also very ill. Debbie will now have to take care of both her parents. Likely move into their home and out of her own.

Debbie, like me and many of you, had many issues with her mother.

Now that this has happened it reminds Debbie, as it has or will most of us, how much we do love and care for our father and mother in the end. Even when they put us down or say and do many mean things. In the end these are really the two people we strive so hard to please most of our lives.

Even when they are gone.

In my case, even after lawsuits and huge arguments with my father where we didn’t speak for years, he’s still my dad. I lost my mother in 2007 unexpectedly. Very painful. I at least wanted her to see my book come out, but she died a few months before that happened and before we opened our comedy club at the Legends in 2007.

We did get to say goodbye to each other in the hospital. That was extremely hard on me. You just don’t know what you have until it’s gone. So out of respect to her and wanting to do the right thing, I forgave my Dad all his many indiscretions. We speak almost daily and still argue. He still puts me down way too much – it’s just his nature.

Example: "Dad, I just got nominated for an Academy Award!"  And my father would say, "Well son, it’s about time. If you’re any good you’ll at least get one more."

That’s Stan for you…

My dad is now in his late 70’s. He’s in good health, but time is running out. His wife is a wonderful lady, much younger, early 40’s. They have had a great life together it seems. I have to say when the chips were down, my father would be there for me.

It’s just all the other times when he wasn’t that hurt.

But hey, that’s life. We live, we learn. My brother Jeff has the two greatest young men I have maybe ever met. They’re 14 and 16. Nothing like we were. Jeff has been a good parent. He’s a "do as I tell you for your own good, don’t follow in my footsteps" type of father.  His boys are 4.3 students and always have been great – and I mean great – athletes. Jake is a top 20 tennis player, a  No. 1 seed at Shawnee Mission East in his sophomore/junior year. He is in the top 20 in the mid-west.

The younger boy, Alex, is a premier soccer player, point guard in basketball and star baseball player. Neither boy has ever been in trouble. Ever. Not even one call from a teacher or principal.

It’s incredible!

How can they be related to me and my brothers?  I think I was already a criminal by age 16. Had been in jail, been in trouble at school a million times and so on…

Parents are the first ones we call with good news and bad.

If you’re like me, I’ll bet you’ve reached for that phone to call a parent to tell them something and then you remember, "My mom is gone." 

I don’t look forward to having no living parent or grandparent, but it will happen. It comes to us all. So find time for them while they are still with you. I do.

What was that Cat Stevens song?  "The Cats in the cradle and the silver moon……."

Hey dad, I’d love to see you if I could find the time. See, my new job’s a hassle and the kids are in school. But it’s sure nice talking to you, dad. Sure nice talking to you.

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33 Responses to Glazer: Hang onto Your Parents, No Matter How Bad They May be

  1. mark smith says:

    Harry Chapin
    Not Cat Stevens. Cat is the one who sang peace train and became a muslim.

    As for parents, we usually wake up one day and realize they knew what they were talking about after all. Condolences to the Mermaid.

  2. harley says:

    To my friend mermaid….
    First to mermaid….so sorry for your mom and dad. I lost my mom and dad within 11 months of each other.
    My mom from cancer…my dad from a broken heart.
    But remember one thing…and never forget it. In life you only get one real mom and one dad. Remember that they
    can never be replaced. You can replace a house or car…or furniture but you can not replace your mom or dad.
    Also remember that they will always be with you. They will never leave. They will still be around you after they
    are gone. They will watch over you…listen to you….answer your questions….and when you need an answer to
    an important question you can still ask them for advice…and they will give it to you. When you are troubled
    they will comfort you. I have a watch that my parents gave me on my 18th birthday. On the day my dad passed
    away the watch stopped at 12 oclock. I still wear that watch. It connects me to my parents. And when I look
    at it i realize and believe that another day…another great day for me is right around the corner. That no matter how
    tough things get in my life…that tomorrow brings another minute…hour and day.
    I have been in your shoes. I’ve walked through what you are going thru right now. It is incredibly hard to watch someone
    that raised you…fed you…nurtured you…worked for your better life is dying. But don’t ever let thim give up.
    When my mom was in her final month I remember the coach who in his last days fighting cancer said…
    ‘NEVER…NEVER…NEVER GIVE UP!”.
    Enjoy and cherish every day you have with your mom and dad. They are who made you. Who made you who you
    are today. Cherish what they taught you and did for you. And remember that even when they are gone…they will
    still be looking down on you and smiling at what their love created.
    May god bless you…your family…you and may god bless your mom and dad.
    Harley

  3. Bob Loblaw says:

    Damn it Glazer ….
    It’s Harry Chapin. And it’s …”silver SPOON.”

    Anyway, I agree with your post.

    Say, does your dad sometimes frequent Swope Park’s dog park in OP? There’s a guy there who looks (and talks) exactly like him so figured it has to be him.

  4. Bob Loblaw says:

    Whoops
    Sorry – Stoll Park.

  5. Rick says:

    The cats song
    Cats in the Cradle. Sadly that reference brought back memories. If you listen to the song you realize its about a father that had no time for his son. Then the son becomes an adult and he has no time for the father. As a teen I lived and grew up in Leavenworth Kansas. My divorced dad lived in Overland Park. I would see him twice a year. A summer Worlds Of Fun trip and then either Thanksgiving or Christmas.

    Once I got a car and drove to KC I realized how close my father was and we didn’t see each other more often simply because he choose not to. It was a real eye opener. I sent him the Cats In The Cradle record hoping he would get the message. He didn’t.

    Now he is an old man and I’m an adult. We both live in Overland Park. Haven’t spoken in years.

    When you coming home dad. I don’t know when. But we’ll get together then dad. We’ll get together then.

    The song obviously is more poignant when you realized that Harry Chapin died and never saw his son grow up. We lost both him and Jim Croce way to young.

    Thanks Craig. Great stuff.

  6. David says:

    YOU
    Go Alex and Jake!! Great job!!

  7. Bill D says:

    Cat did Cat too
    Cat Stevens also did a version of Cat’s in the Cradle, so Craig’s not completely wrong.

  8. Craig Glazer says:

    My Wrong! It Was Chapin
    You guys are right, it was Harry Chapin, not Stevens originally, great song, good point…and yes it was silver spoon, not moon…but the point is the same. Thanks for the correction.

  9. Craig Glazer says:

    Yes Thats Stan At DogPark
    Yes that is my dad, he loves, I mean is crazy about his dog.

  10. Cliffy says:

    Sorry to hear about mermaid. She seems like she has her stuff together. My dad was killed in a car wreck when I was 20. He was 50. Didn’t hit me just how young he was until I approached that age. Enjoy them while you can.

  11. Harlow says:

    Handsome Man
    Craig not matter what else is said here about you, well you are simply a nice looking man. When I knew you back in the day, you had long hair and bellbottoms, my lord that was another lifetime ago. Today Craig, even at your age, movie star good looks, don’t let ’em tell you different. Me and my man will be up to see you in the next couple weeks promise. Enjoyed this story, my parents are both gone, miss them dearly,deelply all the time.

  12. smartman says:

    Wrong Song
    Dunno Craig. You seem like more of a “I got my poor old grey haired daddy, drivin’ my limosine” type of a guy.

  13. Matt says:

    It’s terrible to lose your parents…
    and you never get over it.

    Just wanted to say it in case the folks are active in blog heaven. RIP mom and dad, I love you.

  14. Bad Ass Jew, Berkowitz says:

    Lost Both My Folks Sorry To Hear About Mermaid
    Yes we often don’t know how much we care til they are gone. Sorry for your sorrow Debbie.

  15. tracy thomas? says:

    THIS IS TERRIBLE
    The use Debbie’s ill mom in an attempt to garner readership is HORRIBLE. Hearne is super intelligent and he knows what sells. To take advantage of this situation is terrible. Criag is a follower and not a leader. Did they get permission to use this story? Did they check their sources. Did the break HIPPA laws? Do tell.

    I could write more about the destruction they have caused. The ruined lives. The lost friendships. But I have to depart to take my meds. But Hearne must be stopped and I will continue this crusade on behalf of the people. I am the Joan of Arc of my generation.

  16. smartman says:

    Earth to Tracy
    More like Don Quixote than Joan of Arc toots. Thank God there is no Title IX in journalism or blogging. You’ve pissed and moaned ad infinitum about everyone on KCC. Chuck has gone missing which makes me think maybe Mildred has him tied up in her basement Kathy Bates+Jimmy Caan MISERY style. You’ve sucked up to Tony and Fitz. They’ve given you their blessings and plugs. One of Tony’s commenters even gave you the seal of approval announcing he’d like to ejaculate on your face.

    Enough with the denoument sister. Pull up your Depends and get some meat on the plate that is Tracykcconfidential.com, which is a real ORIGINAL name for someone in the creative/ad business.

    I guess imitation is still the sincerest form of flattery

  17. Robertoe says:

    nutjob alert!
    Tracy and I have been communicating on this delicate & sensitive issue. She hasn’t.been helpful. When I politely asked her to just back off, cease and desist from communicating with me or Mermaid, she has morfed into a vendetta driven wingnut stalkereske nutjob. Try and offer positive solutions and/or back away at your own online peril!. You’re being far too kind with a Don Qoixote analogy, Smartman. I’d say its more like Alexandra Forrest. 😮 nutjob alert!

  18. Bad Act Jew, Berkowitz says:

    Come hither!
    Hey Tracy! You’re kinda cute when you’re mad with that offbeat colored hair of yours and those Mary Poppins hats! Come hither, Boss Momma! Since Mermaid didn’t quite pan out with me, I was wondering if you and I could hook up. Robertoe dropped me a note about your +700 word crusader diatribe on how you are the only true arbiter of feminist truth, Black Barbie’s mom, lyme disease, 1968 civil rights, NOW, tax policy and latino machisimo. It has him a tad perplexed! He can’t really believe you write succinct copy for a living! Since I’m not dating anyone right now I would love to hear more about those HIPPA laws! And tell me more about vindictive bogus lawsuits too! I don’t think Tony would mind! I’m betting Glazer would approve too!! I know how gals like you get fixated when you feel slighted or scorned. You”re like an unwelcome guest who just won’t go away! I really think psyco obsessive is a good trait! Come hither! I’d love to dialog! Let’s date! One bad act deserves another!

    Sorry Hearne, I know you don’t like these dating overtures on your site but I just can’t resist a real nutjob gal like this. I’m hoping its true love! And I’m really sorry to hear Tracy is “….not posting on KCC ever again, period.” Oh shucks! 🙁 How will this site survive???

  19. chuck says:

    I have missed every one, digital difficulties.
    Hope all is well with you guys.

  20. chuck says:

    Hope all is also well with Mermaid.
    I need a little Sally O’Malley kickin and stretchin to get back into shape.

    New keyboard and new computer, can’t find anything.

    Tracy Thomas has sent me an email, saying that she is NEVER posting on kcconfidential again. Just a 411

    Seems a tempest in a tea pot to me, but…

    I have to go say some shitty things about Jack’s predictable, pedestrain, pathetic takes on the movies.

    Ah…. the sound of cracking knuckles.

    BTW, I was outta town, not tied to a bedpost. 🙂

  21. Craig Glazer says:

    Tracy
    In my times with Tracy I had no issues. I don’t know why she is so upset. Must be an argument with Hearne. As far as Debbie, she was pleased with her being mentioned and I am working with her to help during her tough times. We have been friends for twenty years, not just in passing or dating. She is a nice girl, in a bad spot. I think it will all work out for her in the end. Hope so.

  22. chuck says:

    Tracy is pissed and intransigent.
    It doesn’t seem to me, to warrant this kind of reaction, but everyone lives their life, in their own head.

    I will miss her takes, I like hearing ANY outraigeous take, especially if it is sincerre.

    Diametrically opposed viewpoints on any subject, couched in emotion, are interesting, and informative.

    I lost my dad June 16th, 1992.

    Never, never does a day go by, I wish I didn’t have him back.

  23. T says:

    God forbid Craig show a softer side…
    Thanks for being a good friend. xoxo

  24. Craig Glazer says:

    T You Are Welcome
    Hope all is better.

  25. Rick says:

    THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE
    Hearne and super intelligent in the same sentence.

  26. Hearne Christopher says:

    Tracy left me a voice mail message saying that she had not posted anything, nor would she on KCC.

    So while this sure sounds like Tracy Thomas, she says it isn’t.

  27. VWriter says:

    Nephews
    Hey Craig,

    My nephews go to school with your nephews and my sister always tells me what great kids they are – you should be proud of them!

  28. Tracy Thomas? says:

    STILL AROUND
    I told Hearne if he would delete this post I would no longer comment. He has not done that and allowed these mean things to stay up. So I feel free to express myself. I also have the ability to continue to deny I am posting and no one can prove otherwise. I want to comment on this entire incident and people involved.

    I have been helping and editing Hearne for ages. He has no loyal bones in his body. He is a user.

    Smartman is a disgusting racist thug.

    Chuck I thought we were friends and am disapoointed in you. I do appreciate the luke warm support you gave me.

    Roberto you are mean!!!! I was just trying to look out for Debbie. I should be commended not attacked.

    Rick you act like a hero but really are a zero. You have been quiet while I’ve been attacked. It was through my influence you got to write for Hearne. Because of that you got a lucky break and now you are doing some work for TMZ. You literally owe a great deal of your sucess to me!!!!!!! But you don’t have my back. You are not a gentleman!!!!!

    Yes Craig I have always been polite to you. But I know you have a one track mind and don’t respect women.

    Bad Act you straighten up your act and maybe we can be friends???

    I have never tied up anyone but I can tell you that many of you make me fit to be tied.

    Be honest this site is boring without me!!!!

  29. smartman says:

    Calm Down Mildred
    Nobody gives a shit whether you post or comment here. Nobody gives a shit whether I comment here. We all post, comment and read of our own free will, primarily for our own enjoyment, entertainment and perhaps validation.
    You ain’t Maureen Dowd. Barb Shelly or Antonia Botello.

    Your cackling voice on the radio makes Nick Wright sound like Lucianno Pavaroti….Pyramid Roofing my ass. “Their logo is on the back of every dollar bill.” That ain’t exactly “Where’s the beef?” Clara.

    Seeing as how Suge Knight AND Glenn Beck have both been referred to as Disgusting, Racist and Thugs I gladly accept your nomination.

    If indeed I’m guilty of those charges, relative as they may be, I suspect that with therapy I could be treated and perhaps cured.

    You on the other hand will always be a psycho, looney bitch.

    Oh yeah, that Adam guy from the Mutual Fund Store says hi. He woulda’ NEVER made it without ya’. He’s LOADED!

    Be careful. Cause like Max Cady I can outthink you, outwork you and
    out philosophize you.

    Lord, may her soul and the souls of all the KCC departed through the Mercy of God blog in peace.

    Amen

  30. Hearne Christopher says:

    How can it be boring without you when here you are?

  31. Rick says:

    It’s MY fault
    First let me state I think it was wrong for Hearne to have blocked Tracy.

    That being said the rest of this is my fault. Tracy sent numerous e-mails an badgered me for days to respond to this blog. I, apparently along with many others, keep trying to talk her off of this ledge and to leave things alone until she at least learned more facts. But trying to get Tracy to back off is like trying to get Craig from abstaining. Full steam ahead no matter what the consequences were even if they were going to be negative towards her. Thick headed would be an understatement..

    It was like watching the self destruction of Brittney Spears. When will Tracy shave her head and take a baseball bat to her own car I’m not sure but we aren’t to far a way.

    Finally after numerous attempts to get her in control I said “Look if you want to write something and you feel these things HAVE TO BE SAID then go to the freakin library!” Shortly after that we started seeing Tracy Thomas ? posts. which not surprisingly say pretty much the same thing that she has said in personal e-mails.

    So its my fault and I apologize to any and all that this mystery Tracy’s comments have offended or hurt.

    Wanted to own my part. Again my apologizes. Rick

  32. rick says:

    UPDATE NEWS FROM TRACY!!!!
    Tracy has requested that people stop commenting about what Tracy Thomas ? writes even though its not her…….HUH??????

  33. rick says:

    ATTENTION…another update!!!
    Tracy says she has moved on……though she continues to e-mail/write about the subject. Apparently someone needs to explain to her what moving on is. The Jeffersons moved to the east side where I believe they got a piece of pie from the sky.

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