Since I’ve been done with school for awhile now, I’ve decided that the television and I should recommit.
It’s been years since I have followed any sitcoms or weekly reality shows—and if you are wondering, the answer is yes. Some college students actually do study.
So last night my girlfriends and I celebrated with a long night of bad TV. I don’t know what dudes do on their game or poker nights, but I have a feeling that they don’t top our girl parties. Reclining chairs, coronas with limes, burritos, booze, and gossip—only during the commercials, of course.
Beer in hand, I successfully re-communed with my TV. I watched Episodes 1, 2, and 3 of Project Runway, Season 9, my first ever episode of The Jersey Shore, and the premiere of Lifetime’s new reality television show, Russian Dolls.
If you didn’t catch the first episode, there’s still time.
The show portrays the lives of Russian-Americans living in New York. Whether or not the reality angle is truly legit, the first episode did provide a brief glimpse into the culture of some Russian-American women and families.
But besides that, what the hell is this show about? There is a 23-year old blonde girl looking for marriage and kids by age 25, and there is a community dancing event for older, grandmotherly women…
Hmmm. Yea, let’s just analyze the cast’s style instead.
Style Tenet 1: Blonde is better, unless you are a Russian version of Snooki.
Style Tenet 2: A Maserati might be luxury, but it won’t get you past a Russian mother.
Style Tenet 3: Tan is better, age aside.
Style Tenet 4: 11-carat diamonds are no big deal. They aren’t flashy, just a sign of success.
Style Tenet 5: Plastic surgery and Botox are no-brainers, duh.
Style Tenet 6: Bikinis are fine.
Style Tenet 7: Old women in belly-dancing costumes are not fine.
Style Tenet 8: Fur is fabulous—the bigger the better.
Style Tenet 9: Bath houses are social hot spots, no robe required.
Style Tenet 10: Not Russian? Want to get hitched? Fat Chance!