Joe Miller: What’s Black and White and White All Over?


A year or so after I moved to Kansas City, the Star offered an opportunity for select readers to come and tour their newsroom and printing plant, and to attend an editorial meeting. I signed up for it without disclosing that I was a reporter for the Pitch.

I was in my early 30s then and I was the youngest person on the tour. All of us were white. When we met with the Star’s editorial board, one of the older members of our touring party, a man from a suburb on the far edge of the metropolitan area, told how he basked in the paper everyday, reading the sports page first, then the front section, then local and business, and finally the lifestyle section, and the comics.

Lewis Duiguid, who I think was the only black member of the board at the time, and who writes a weekly column that often explores diversity issues, said, “You’re exactly the kind of reader we want.”

Duiguid was talking about the man’s reading habits, obviously. But I couldn’t help but see this as confirmation that Star’s target audience, its ideal reader, is an old white man from East Bumfuck Suburbia.

This incidents stands in my mind as one of the best illustrations of the role the

Star plays in the Kansas City region: It’s a defender and lapdog of white supremacy.

I don’t mean white supremacy in the white-hood-and-burning crosses sense. I don’t believe for a second there are any overt racists at 18th and Grand.

I mean it as a stark term to describe life as it is in KC and all across America. Whites, by and large, rank supreme. And the daily paper serves to ensure that this will always be so.  

Right around the time of my tour of the paper, I covered a demonstration outside of the central offices of the Kansas City School District that was attended by virtually all of the city’s black leaders. The district was in turmoil, had recently ousted the superintendent, and the demonstrators were calling on the larger community (i.e. the white community) to rally around the district’s students, most of whom are black.

The black leaders railed on the Star, blaming the paper for fomenting controversy and subverting the will of the black community.

I was new to town, so I asked a few of the people at the demonstration to meet me for coffee, to expand on their views of the daily paper.

They told me, in no uncertain terms, that it is the most racist institution in town, an assessment I heard repeated over and over again over the next 10 years. In fact, Alvin Brooks – one of the city’s most beloved black leaders – was one of them. And this was before I worked on the campaign that denied his bid to become mayor.

At first, this assessment of the paper seemed too extreme. But then I began to see it in the paper’s coverage.

This really became clear to me later that year when a few of the city’s black leaders commandeered the process by which the boundaries of the school board’s election districts would be redrawn to reflect population shifts revealed by the 2000 Census. The black leaders bent the process to serve their purposes, which was to get more black representation on the board, and in doing so, they split up the district that encompasses the richest and whitest section of town.

In other words, they played politics the way they’re supposed to be played by anybody who wants to win.

If one were to judge solely by the front page of the Star and their coverage of the development, though, it would seem as if a major crime had been committed.

The paper ran a alarmist article and a great big reprint of the maps to show how the blacks had committed the ultimate crime in this city: They’d divided the predominantly white and wealthy Southwest Corridor into two districts, and both of the proposed new districts crossed Troost, thus giving black voters more power in each. 

In response, a new redistricting committee was formed, one led by white leaders, and the district boundaries were redrawn to reunite the rich white district and break apart a different district, that had a large population of poor whites.

After that, I saw time and time again how the paper would shape the story of the city such that rich, white leaders were shown as champions of progress, largely incorruptible, and black leaders were ok so long as they played along with the white leaders’ game plan and only spoke up about acceptable issues of political correctness.

When I switched sides and got into politics, I really saw it.

My boss, Mayor Funkhouser, was pushing to create a regional transportation system, for a variety of reasons, but the one he cited most often was that it would decrease the racial segregation and isolation in the city, and give residents on the Eastside — where there are few jobs and the unemployment is high — access to jobs.

The Star, on the other hand, had come up with its own transportation plan: a light rail line that would run from one rich white part of town, through another rich white part of town to downtown, where a lot of rich whites work and sometimes go out for dinner.

So the paper’s coverage was skewed against us from the start, because they had their own plan to champion.

But one thing I found particularly vexing was that the paper never – and I mean NEVER – reported on the Mayor’s desire to help people who live in jobless, primarily black parts of town move to predominantly white areas, where jobs are much more abundant.

(At the same time, the paper’s coverage of the Mayor suggested that he was racist, due to the Francis Semler thing, and his attempt to fire the black city manager, and Mammygate, but that’s a whole other story.)

But then, in the middle of our full-court press to get a regional plan on the November ballot, we released a plan that would put the light rail line on Troost, the city’s historic racial dividing line, instead of the white and wealthy west side. Up on the 29th Floor of City Hall, we were all quite excited about making such a bold stroke against the city’s historic, racial divisions.

The paper went apoplectic, especially the editorial board, just like they did when black leaders divided the Southwest Corridor to create new school district boundaries. It was like: How dare you take a multi-million-dollar toy away from us rich whites and give it to them.

It was the most blatantly racist thing I’d ever seen the Star do, frankly, and I called them on it. I had some long phone arguments with Yael Abouhalkah, Merriam Pepper and Tom McClanahan, the editorial board’s token conservative.

I’ll never forget how I told McClanahan I thought the paper’s position and coverage were examples of institutional racism, and – get this – he didn’t even know what institutional racism was.

But that’s not the worst of it.

At some point during my nightmare run as spin doctor for Funk and Gloria, one of the Star’s top reporters admitted, in no uncertain terms, that they pretty much only report on the problems and dramas of the governments and institutions in Kansas City proper. He told me that Johnson County government has just as many problems as KC does, and the school districts in the suburbs have issues too, and there are crazy people in office all across KC suburbia, but the paper never reports on them.

Take a second to think about this. It’s a huge admission.

The only story that’s fit to print in the paper of record in this town is that the urban core is fucked up, but everything’s just fine in the burbs.

So, day after day, the Star sends a loud and clear message to its predominantly white and suburban readers: Kansas City is fucked up! Stay the fuck away! 

Day after day for years and years and decades and decades.

It’s no wonder this is one of the most segregated cities in the country.
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40 Responses to Joe Miller: What’s Black and White and White All Over?

  1. rkcal says:

    It always confuses me when people say KC is in the Midwest. I learned really fast when I moved here 20 years ago that structurally, socially, and culturally that this place is as “southern” as it gets.

  2. joke time says:

    Yeah, but the Star is right in this case: Kansas City is as dysfunctional and fucked up as it can possibly be.

    Also….what’s white and green with envy? Joe Miller!

  3. smartman says:

    Oh Brothers Where Art Thou
    You gotta be kidding me! The Star is the Rotweiller lapdog of the black community.

    They’ve never called a spade a spade when it comes to the failed leadership in the black community. They’ve never called out the graft and corruption that lines the pockets of alleged black leaders and politicians. What about Manny Cleaver and the Orlando boondoggle, or the taxes on his car wash. Irish Terry Riley? What a fucking scam artist that guy is.

    Your white cracker ass is way off freebase with this observation.

  4. it's Miller Time says:

    dey raysust
    Light rail on Troost? A stellar idea. In the last 6 months alone, a woman fell out from the heat and was promptly raped. A woman sitting at a bus stop was shot. No sane white person would use light rail that ran down troost.
    Mary Sanchez, clearly a white racist.
    the schools are training grounds , gladiator schools.
    Leave it to a tofu eating, birkenstock wearing, dead head to call one of the most liberal, racially apologetic rags in the midwest, racist.
    An almost entirely black school board that squandered millions in fed money on afro centered schools and turned out grads who read at below proficient levels.
    It’s apologetic, white, guilt ridden, uber liberal douche bags like you that keep the black community down in the shitter. Blame all the problems on those fat greedy crackers, while blacks kill each other.

  5. Orphan of the Road says:

    What you said about the Star is correct but they really are all about whitey and money. They got their house niggers to run interference for them.

    Al Brooks was able to quit the KCPD before they brought him up on charges of corruption and bribery charges. That was then, today he would have lost his pension even by resigning before the charges were brought.

    What other paper in the USA was ever sanctioned by the Supreme Court for their monopolistic practices?

    The Star is like a lot of those folks who went down to Selma to protest in the 60s. As soon as they got home they made sure those black folks kept in their places, bless their hearts.

    And before someone claims it was all a mistake about Cleaver’s Orlando trip, remember he never attended a meeting while at the conference.

  6. the log says:

    typical liberal pussy
    Why not fire all the whites at the paper and only hire blacks. See how that works for ya. Guilt ridden whites like you are going to get what you deserve. That is not a threat from some white terrorist that the govt is afraid of, but a prediction. See how the brothas will treat you when you embrace their culture. The brothas laugh at pussies like you. I doubt you live anywhere near the rich diversity you so readily want to force on us.

  7. Tracy Thomas says:

    Good point about ignoring JoCo
    I had to stop first and tape put a tablet of paper on the right hand column of too much flashing ads–how annoying!! Hearn must think that is progress…

    As for JoCo being ignored, Joe is spot on. My favorite editor who left early (for Lincoln) was OJ Michael Nelson. He admitted years ago, the Star did not dare criticize JoCo government, for two reasons–it would drive away subscribers, and it would let KCMO off the hook. The paper was founded by Col. Nelson (not related to OJ!) as his hobby to run the town from the pedestal of the Fourth Estate, never having to run for office. And that’s how they love to operate.

    Joe fails to mention that the ONLY and I mean ONLY reason Funk got elected was the million dollars of free editorials he received from Yael Abouhalkah, who only later admitted what a colossal mistake that was.

    I was president of the Shawnee City Council and served for five years–we could never get the Star to cover JoCo politics. Same with me fighting BiState II and Big Soccer. The Star was obsessed with being the kingmaker. They never saw a tax increase they didn’t like. And trust me, they made the politicians in KCMO kiss their royal butts for endorsing all these tax hikes.

    The Star editorial board is a bloated joke. (ha, glad I got out of the PR game!!)

    And they’ve let the reporters who covered politics retire, except for Kraske, who hates women, and I mean all women, and who is lazier that Fitzpatrick ever was. One must do all the reporting for him, then bundle it with a bow–he does NO actual reporting. I think he has a phone that only rings in…no outbound calls–why bother! Same with Brad Cooper in JoCo, and Kevin Collison their so-called development reporter. They are butt boys who publish the press releases handed to them. By cities, or eco devo councils, or developers like Cordish or development lawyers like Polsinelli.

    Back to Joe Miller–
    Is he Al Jolson or what?!! What a deluded crybaby. Don Quixote without the GPS.

    And he plans to teach journalism? How about: The paper ran “A ALARMIST COLUMN”…that would be AN not A. So is that Joe Miller doesn’t know grammar? Or Hearne missed it due to food poisoning from the Safeway in Tucson??

  8. chuck says:

    Its Road Warrior End of Times Hot Out There Today
    and I come home to this. The Great Humongus is GRAVELY dissapointed and will unleash his dogs of war.

    The Kansas City Star is a “racist” publication??? Yeah, and Sarah Palin curls up with Das Kapital every night.

    Too much Kansas City Bar B Q musta triggered an epigenetic Lewis Diuguid brain fart.

    Are u fuckin drunk (I will be later.)? The Aflack Duck knows the Star is a proponent of a multiculturalistic, rainbow, diversity, white boys suck, power to the “Protected Class” agenda. Your drunk, right? Its ok, I’m drunk often, just not THAT drunk.

    The Kansas City Star is an obligate apologist for any and everything African American. I swear I think it is owned by the “Call”.

    The Star would absolutely endorse changing the name of Kansas City, to Louis Farrakhanville and erecting statues of Huey Newton and Eldridge Cleaver on 95th and State Line.

    THE GREAT HUMUNGUS: “There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away from Kansas City and the loser Kansas City Star. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I’ll spare your lives. Just walk away and we’ll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.
    [Soldiers start up their vehicles]

    Joe, lay off of the hard stuff.

  9. chuck says:

    Move Tracy into the 4 spot.

  10. chuck says:

    Hearne, instead of bustin your ass lookin for writers
    just bring back Tracy and stay the fuck outta the way.

    She knows the players, the movers and shakers, and this ain’t your dad’s MMA.

  11. Tracy Thomas says:

    Our Chuck will never say, “i’m melting!”
    101 in the shade, heat index of 115, but hey, it’s a moist heat!

    So there he was, in the attics of eastern Jack at estate sales, and Chuck finds another great dictionary (nobody else reads those) and today we got “obligate” and “epigenetic”.

    Way to go, Chuck! Hand the man some ice…

    Fitzpatrick told us last week, Joe, that the Star leaned over backwards to cater to the black community because of a strike they once executed. Now we were not treated to the DATES of said strike, which would have required actual reporting. But the truth is, it’s true. The Star is ultra-liberal. Joe’s view is just way off.

    Can’t find my dictionary, so I’ll sign off now and go get some lemonade. It’s a bitch when you promise not to drink until dark–when it stays light SO LATE this time of year!

  12. Tracy Thomas says:

    Hearne moved me out of the “featured writers”
    Months ago. Not enough comments. Not “punchy enough”. He feels the readers just want to hear about Craig and pussy. But look how great a string we had on the food issue. I was really impressed.

    Hearne has no interest in politics. Do you realize, without prompting, he cannot even NAME his new Congressman?! I keep testing him, and he will say, hmm, I think it starts with a Y.

    Then he asked me to proofread, but that is insane, since he is not coachable. He refuses to call my business phone, he nags that I should text, (but I don’t have kids, so my phone could be off for 2 to3 days at a time.)

    I do post under several names. Some of the Mean Boys are just SO mean that it would hurt my business if a prospective client read this site. They’d think everyone except Chuck, and sometimes a few others, hates me.

    We do have an interesting ‘tribe’ forming, as my guru, Seth Godin says. The commenters are easily 77% of the reason there are multiple hits. We need to make this work, since the Star is falling to its death.

    Should we develop a product that covers the flashing ads on the right hand column? How about a hologram one can wiggle, showing Craig and his ever-changing bullpen?

  13. smartman says:

    Who are you?
    Holy Moly Tracy when did you start channeling Lorena Bobbit? Between Chucks linguistics which my brain interprets as cunnilingus and your new attitude my salmon has been raging all day. My boner is coming up on four hours and is still going strong. No bike ride for moi tonight. Allez Chuck! Allez Tracy!



  14. Tracy says:

    Hey, Chuck–he’s trying to steal my heart away from toi
    Nice try, smartman. You’re usually the Meanest Guy. But since when are you now channeling the suave?

    Usually you are just all about de Boner, pas de debonair. I didn’t recognize the text, so am guessing you didn’t just google lyrics from my favorite chanteuse, Edith Piaf. These lyrics were from a love sick male. (That could be a double entendre.)

    Or maybe you just have a well-earned case of heatstroke! Understandable. Perhaps you actually DO know some French. Step right up, Monsieur. But Mr. Charles–il trouvez mon coeur a la moment. Mon dieu, je suis rusty. I need an apperitif. In Paris, I prefer white wine with a splash of creme de cassis. Once I went to Paris for a week with Casey Jones from the Star. He knew every building, who died on the front steps, and what their dying words were. Divine. We had cocktails in the little leather bar, six seater, at the Hotel Meurice. Casey informed me that’s where General Prefontaine lied boldly to Hitler, who had called to inquire, “Is Paris burning?” The good general refused to burn down the world’s finest city, told Hitler yes, but didn’t do it, then turned to the bartender and ordered another round. So here’s to you, Smartman, and Chuck. Bon soir.

  15. smartman says:

    Wang Dang Sweet Yin Yang
    Tracy, who better to love than one that knows how to hate?

    If you wanna burn down a house you don’t hire an arsonist you hire a fire-fighter, from local 42. They’ll make sure it’s torched before their union brothers get there.

    Check out that Owen Wilson flick, Paris After Midnight. There was indeed a time when it was a truly brilliant city. Now, le chat es petite! C’est la vie!

  16. Tracy says:

    Yes, I loved Midnight in Paris
    or whatever it was called. The film was a bit two star, but the scenery was four, so it averaged out to a 3!

    I even emailed Jack Poessiger because I SWEAR Harvey Weinberg had an uncredited cameo role as the violinist on the left, in the Cafe scene from the golden era. Jack didn’t notice it. Hard to pin those down. And I don’t get Sundance channel or IFC which might have covered that. The only way HLN would cover it is if Casey Anthony was hidden in there!!!!!!!!!!!

    I haven’t been to Paris since the Muslims took it over. What a shame. A lesson for the US. I was in Paris on a “world class trip” with Entercom, back when they did those great trips. Monte Carlo. Hong Kong. Rio. Many others.

    Rod Anderson was on the trip to Paris. That’s before HE burnt down Hereford House, which I called 2 minutes after I heard about it. Bet he still has some giant cow menus in his basement…what do you guess?

    Thanks for the memories, Smartman. You are a brilliant man, but you’re just a tad too mean for me. I like funny.

  17. bschloz says:

    @ smartman lmao
    @ chuck …..rack em
    @ Tracy. Blog like the wind…I might have to look into that Aldi brand soda!

  18. Orphan of the Road says:

    One of my professors at Temple University
    John Hayes, told us when he was an undergrad at Kent State if you misspelled two words, they kicked you out of the program. There would be lots of white space in the Star if they did anything similar.

    So tell me Tracy, how does Kelly keep writing? He’s got less hits than a pitcher in the American League.

    You are so right Tracy, it’s the posters who bring me back time and again.

    During my scufflin’ days, we knew they put the JO on Kansas license plates because it described the girly boys who came to The Factory and One Block West. I paid my car payments with their money from drag racing and taking them to Marsha and Chrystal’s place.

  19. Tracy says:

    I’ve wondered about Kelly as well.
    Must be the blow jobs…

    Did I really write that? And sober? bschloz must be right: I gotta back off that Aldi soda. Must have amphetamines.

    And Orphan, you made me smile with the mention of One Block West. I can’t believe how fun this town used to be. And me as well, ha ha, could be that. I just watched the KCPT special on John Lennon. Sweet.

    nite nite

    Gotta rest up for the scolding I am sure to receive when Hearne finds a coffee shop with WiFi…

  20. chuck says:

    Gonna be a great day.
    Just came to…, er woke up to a “One Block West” reference.

    How cool is that?

    Gotta scrounge around and find that Chessman Square cassette.

    And Tracy continues to do her best Conan the Barbarian imitation (The Kelly blow job ref…whew!).

    “I crush imposters in the 4th estate, and hear the lamentations of their editors.”

    TRACY: “So Hearne, I wanna do this big series on political corruption and in Johnson County.”

    HEARNE: “Their havin the WORLD SERIES IN JOHNSON COUNTY!!! WOW!!! I gotta get Glaze on the phone!”

    TRACY: “No Hearne, its about Planned Parenthood, abortion.”

    HEARNE: “Glaze must have that covered.”

    TRACY: “Its NOT a first person narrative, it is a scathing indictment of the need to control other people’s lives and bodies.”

    HEARNE: “Did you see the bodies in Glaze’s piece on the Jones Pool?”

    TRACY: *slaps herself violently in the face, turns to Craig Glazer* “What are you covering today Glaze?”

    GLAZER: *Pushes Mermaid, Maureen and Black Barbie off of his lap, sets down the sports page* “Well, it ain’t gonna be the Hadron Collider.” *kicks down the door, walks out to Ferrari, hops over the car door, starts car, shotguns can of hot beer, burns rubber all the way down the block*

    HEARNE: *Steps over girls exhausted in a state of post coital bliss* “Whoa! Dude is so bad the wind blows around him!”

    TRACY: *slaps herself violently in the face*

    HAERNE: “I gotta call Joe Miller.”

    TRACY: *slaps herself violently in the face* “GODDAMNIT HEARNE!!! Everyone knows Glaze is cool but I should still be able to write about women’s issues!!”

    HEARNE: “Glaze has all the chick shit Tracy.”

    TRACY: *slaps herself violently in the face*

  21. Orphan of the Road says:

    One Block West
    Can’t believe they made you have a college ID to get in the place. But some of us dimwits could beat the system. Down at 39th, just west of State Line was the factory. Kind of a GED One Block West with great bands and lots of nursing students from KU. We helped with their anatomy lessons as much as we could.

    One night at OBW I was talking with Janet Murdock, most beautiful girl in our hs class. She and I had been friends and I had a crush on her but never acted. We were sitting on the steps going up to the stage when a fight broke out on the dance floor.

    There was a guy with one arm thumping a guy like a ripe watermelon. The beatee’s buddy jumped in, then another but the kid was holding his own. A fourth jumped in and I dove from the seventh step into the scrum. My buddy Mike jumped into and we started kicking ass and taking names.

    The KCK police were waiting for us all when the bouncers dragged us outside. They started beating those four guys like a cheap drum with their nightsticks. Two more came at Mike and me when the one-armed guy yelled, “They were pulling those guys off of me.”

    Cops stopped mid-swing, thanked us and we went back inside to a standing ovation.

    Janet gave me a kiss and I was still too shy to do anything. It was the last time I ever saw her. SIGH

  22. Tracy says:

    Let’s go find Janet Murdock, Orphan
    Sweet story–I wonder if the Tarzan impulse was why Janet only rewarded you with a kiss. You’ve obviously grown up to be quite clever and insightful. Have you looked up Janet on Facebook or LinkedIn (I call it facebook for the John T. Malloy Dress for Success set)? Keep us posted, Orphan. You have a way with words, my man.

  23. TRACY THOMAS says:

    Hadron Collider!
    Oh, Chuck, you nailed this like a Mexican roofer. Thanks for the morning wakeup note. Hadron Colliders and pro-choice. Baby, you’re a firework.

    Now sometimes, for the purpose of driving your narrative, or just je ne sais quoi, you are given to providing your characters a skosh too much intellectual credit. Frankly, I bet Glazer thinks the Hadron Collider is an obscure position–In fact, he’s reading the Kama Sutra today at Woodside, trying to study up on it. Had to wrap the book in a DOUBLE baggie today.

    Glazer: Hey, barmaid, I need a tissue! Bring the box, doll…Hearne, get your nose outta there.

  24. Orphan of the Road says:

    I haven’t made contact with her but know she is happily married. I was out of KC for a loooong time and recently caught up with a lot of the old gang who filled me in as much as possible. I ran into her ex-boyfriend from hs at a alumni event and filled me in a little on her. None of the gang had seen her for a while.

    She kissed me because I jumped in to help somebody I didn’t know in a bad situation. She was engaged then.

    I’ve searched the net for her but to no avail. But when the time is right and stars align we’ll meet again.

    Thanks for the kind words. One of my professors in college told us writing is easy, just rip open an artery and let it flow.

  25. bschloz says:

    Caption Writer?
    * That’s Jason Whitlock with 2 strippers
    * That’s Jason Whitlock sleeping on the couch
    * That’s Glaze with a squirrel on his shoulder.
    * That’s a Fiat
    * That’s Jerry Mazer scoring 17 cents on the Plaza
    * That’s a picture of LiveStrong Stadiium
    * That’s a picture of Johnny Dare’s Pony Tail
    * That’s a picture of Katie Horner..wait sec thats not a picture of Katie Horner..
    * That’s Mermaid’s Mermaid’s

    Where were you when they raised the debt ceiling? Chuck …I heard they’re talking about extending age of SS # to 70 if you work in an air-conditioned environment and leave it @ 65 if you have to fight the elements- hang in there—-….we’re so fucked….. GGGG– Guns, Gold, Gardens ,God..

  26. Tracy says:

    Orphan, thanks for the bleeding truth
    Wow, Orphan, you opened my heart with that post. Thanks for sharing your vulnerable side. Keep sharing–you’re a fine writer because you have lived life and still have the brain cells to recall some great episodes!

    I so agree about star alignment or whatever one chooses to call it. Let the world take a few spins, so what, in the grand scheme. is a great source of daily reminders about the Law of Attraction. Orphan, I know you will attract to yourself exactly what you need…but mostly it’s all about what you WANT. Need is for sissies. So whether it be Janet Murdock in the flesh, (and remember by the time you two meet again, it will be aging flesh, so be kind!) or another soul who pairs to yours, you deserve to be loved and appreciated–for jumping into the fray of life and justice, man! You earned the kiss–wear the T-shirt!

    I think we’re supposed to be commenting on that sissie, Joe Miller, who has taken the weekend off. Someone needs to remind Hearne, life goes on 7 days a week. Or maybe we just scared Joe away?? Maybe the piddling amount of “get out of Dodge” money that Hearne is paying him isn’t worth the feedback he’s getting here. Guess we’ll see on Monday, huh?

    Meanwhile, we live and bleed–but hopefully in the air conditioning.

    Like Chuck, I ventured forth out into the world’s oven yesterday, I went to a Kathe Kaul estate sale. It was the first anniversary of the great Ladder Collapse which trapped me, crushed my entire left side. Heel, knee, wrist and rotator cuff. I couldn’t even get out of the wheel chair, let alone go home, so I spent 3 months in a nursing home rooming with crabby 93 year old women. The only way I survived was I pretended I was on a cruise. So I am disabled, still rehabbing, many issues. I limped into that estate sale and bought the walking cane of poet Edna St. Vincent Millay. She used it, in her home in Maine, then gave it to this family on Arno Street in KCMO.

    What I had it represent was: stuff happens. I can limp artfully or walk slowly with the best and the brightest, rather than harbor any resentment or regret.

    So, Orphan, I loved your story, and the possibilities you still hold in your heart for another chapter. Keep posting!

  27. Tracy says:

    Good captions, bschloz.
    I think you’ve captured the photo library almost completely.

    there was this new one, here:
    That’s Yael the one day of the year he found the shampoo. As opposed to how he schlubs onto Ruckus, greasy hair styled like Frankenstein’s monster. (Again, so glad I quit doing PR and sucking up to the Star!!!)

    Dead PR maven walking,

  28. chuck says:

    Tracy reloads the Mosberg
    Nails Yael in the tail.

    Funny stuff.

    bschloz’s bon mot’s are a hoot.

    How big was the ladder?

    Was it one of those “Little Giants”?

    Those fuckin things will kill ya.

    Great story Orphan.

  29. smartman says:

    Sun Daze
    C’mon people! Can we please live in the fucking moment?

    Glazer is milking mid 80’s prison time and Tracy keeps reminding us of her stint in rehab….physical, not the fun Dr. Drew kind.

    The past is for those that refuse to surrender to the present. Live life with no regrets! I’m down to two, That I didn’t write Elton John’s Your Song and that I didn’t write, Hey Tim Finn how do Hearne’s balls taste? I’m runner up to Bernie Taupin and Tony Botello. Should I shoot myself now or what until the Trader Joe’s Raspberry Torte comes out of the oven?

    Life goes on. Put down the safety bar and take it for a ride.

    We are all entitled to pursue one grudge fuck. ONLY ONE. Unlike wine a little dust on the bottle at my age means grey pubes or sagging labia. Like that Eastwood+Streep kiss in Bridges of Madison County. I don’t care how old or horny you are that was biblically nasty to watch. Make your young children watch that kiss over and over and over. They’ll lose all libidinous function for life.

  30. chuck says:

    Jesus smartman
    first the Frank song I couldn’t get outta my head.

    Now, I gotta think about the Bridges of Madison County.

    That movie was brutal.

    Fuckin brutal.

    I even like chick flicks.

    Just brutal.

  31. chuck says:

    Fuckin Dr. Drew.
    God I just wanna beat the fuck outta those self absorbed fuckin pukes.

    Lucky it ain’t Dr. Chuck.


    DR. CHUCK: “Thats right dumbass, and one more fuckin word outta your ass and you’ll be sippin pork roast soup thru a fuckin straw cause your jaw will be wired shut!”

    GARY BUSEY: “But Dr. Chuck, we are in group therapy emoting.”

    DR. CHUCK: “Just shut the fuck up.”

  32. bschloz says:

    Sagging Labia
    Saw them at the crossroads… they rock.

    labia is labia….have a great sagging labia day.

  33. chuck says:

    Dr. Drew.
    DR. CHUCK: “Matter of fact, all you fuckin pukes can pack your shit and get the fuck outta here, I can’t stand the sight of any of ya.”

    STEVEN ADLER: “But Dr. Chuck, I think I was really makin some progress.”

    DR. CHUCK: “Your fucked asshole. You will always be a fuckin junkie piece of shit. Here’s a hundred bucks, you can get some really good shit right down the block.”

    STEVEN ADLER: “Yeah, your right, I’m high right now. Thanks, see ya.”

    CHYNA: “Wait for me!!”

    DANIEL BALDWIN: “Dr. Chuck! You are enabling!!”

    DR. CHUCK: *kicks Daniel Baldwin in the nads*

    RODNEY KING: “Wait for me!!!”

  34. Hearne Christopher says:

    Interesting points, O

  35. Hearne Christopher says:

    Blame it on the food poisoning. But not from Safeway, my GF bot a $1.99 bottle of Pinot Grigio at Trader Joe’s in Tucson

  36. Hearne Christopher says:

    Blame it on the food poisoning. But not from Safeway, my GF bot a $1.99 bottle of Pinot Grigio at Trader Joe’s in Tucson

  37. Hearne Christopher says:

    Here’s the simple truth, boys and girls; you’re both right.

    The Star goes both ways.

  38. Hearne Christopher says:

    Tracy – within reason – is where she wants to be. When she wants to. Far be it from me to slot her.

  39. Hearne Christopher says:

    Tracy – within reason – is where she wants to be. When she wants to. Far be it from me to slot her.

  40. Hearne Christopher says:

    Not true, Tracy. If you recall, I thinned out the individual slots to only people who posted regularly. So readers wouldn’t scroll past weeks old stories.

    Whatever you want to write will still be “featured” up top as a current story. And then go into whatever category applies, news, entertainment, sports, etc. down below.

    As for Tracy’s other comments – hey, she’s Tracy – take em for what they’re worth

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