Starbeams: It Was So Hot in Kansas City That…

HEAT is the number one weather related killer.  If you’re outside experts recommend you drink at least two bottles of water per hour.  The excessive heat warning has been extended through the weekend.


It was so hot Rupert Murdoch’s reporters were hacking phone lines to Sheridan’s.

It was so hot, Mike Shanin was seen wearing a 3 – piece swimsuit.

It was so hot, Nikita, the polar bear, called 1-800-BE-IDEAL for Laser Hair Removal.

It was so hot, people want to bring back Mayor Funkhouser for the shade.

It was so hot, Lady Gaga was spotted wearing a deli tray with assorted cold cuts.

It’s so hot, Anthony Weiner just tweeted a photo of his Dilly Bar.

It’s so hot, I kissed our receptionist just so I could get a cold sore.

It was so hot, Justin Bieber was spotted crashing a curling match.

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3 Responses to Starbeams: It Was So Hot in Kansas City That…

  1. chuck says:

    Not bad.


  2. smartman says:

    You’re right it’s not bad. It’s FUCKING AWFUL.

    Now I get what it means to post 3 times weakly.

    Now that Jack Kevorkian is dead maybe people can just read Kelly’s stuff until their brains explode.

  3. chuck says:

    Maybe its like Johnny Carson
    —its so bad its funny.

    Carson used to make some HORRIBLE jokes and then smirk at ya. Hilarious.

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