Starbeams: Casey Anthony to Oceans of Fun & Katie Horner Issues Get Naked Advisory

More people are killed every year by heat than tornadoes, lightning and floods.  It’s no joking matter, and yet…

IT WAS SO HOT YESTERDAY – HOW HOT WAS IT?

It was so hot, disoriented Royals pitchers were actually hitting the strike zone…

It was so hot, officials at Sprint Center were actually trying to get a hockey team…

It was so hot, Mackenzie quit whining about the studio being too cold…

It was so hot Casey Anthony was offered a job at Oceans of Fun

It was so hot, people in Parkville were praying for more flooding…

It was so hot they had an open bar at Betty Ford‘s funeral…

It was so hot Katie Horner told me to go to my basement and take off my clothes…

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8 Responses to Starbeams: Casey Anthony to Oceans of Fun & Katie Horner Issues Get Naked Advisory

  1. chuck says:

    Fuckin hilarious!!
    LMAO!!

  2. chuck says:

    Open bar at Betty Ford’s Funeral.
    I am totally stealin that.

  3. chuck says:

    Paul Revere calls in sick.
    JOHN HANCOCK: “General Washington, Paul Revere fell off of his horse, what will we do?”

    GEORGE WASHINGTON: “Who can save us? Who can predict when the British will come? God help us!”

    JOHN HANCOCK: “Katie Horner is divorced, outta work, hangin in Tony Botello’s basement. Ya wanna call her?”

    GEORGE WASHINGTON: “Tony Botello’s basement?”

    JOHN HANCOCK: “What can I tell ya.”

    GEORGE WASHINGTON: “Can she ride a horse?”

    JOHN HANCOCK: “I ain’t touchin that.”

    GEORGE WASHINGTON: “Look, this is serious shit, we need to know exactly when the British are coming.”

    JOHN HANCOCK: “I ain’t touchin that.”

    GEORGE WASHINGTON: “Goddamnit asshole, will she warn us or not?”

    JOHN HANCOCK: “Does Mermaid have a great rack?”

    GEORGE WASHINGTON: “What?”

    JOHN HANCOCK: “Uh…, yeah she will warn the fuck out of us.”

    GEORGE WASHINGTON: “I don’t want us going off prematurely. Who is Mermaid?”

    JOHN HANCOCK: “I ain’t touchin that.”

  4. chuck says:

    Ok, read it again—:)
    “It was so hot, disoriented Royals pitchers were actually hitting the strike zone…”

    This is your best–fuckin funny shit. 🙂

  5. xxMillerTimexx says:

    Chuck is on a roll!
    Keep them coming, the comments are the only reason I come to this site.

  6. smartman says:

    @chuck
    You must be drunk if you, of all people, find Kelly’s stuff funny. Please tell me you’re not drinking Viaka or McCormick!

  7. chuck says:

    sky
    luv u all

    passin out now—–:)

  8. chuck says:

    Kelly keeps getting up…
    Ur right__ I am hammered.

    kissees

    goodbye

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