Hearne: Former Aide Says No Scientology Connect with Funk Family

Word that Mark Funkhouser is hightailing it out of KC for a D.C. think tank sparked a bevy of Google searches by locals…

Funk is going to work for a new company called the Governing Institute. Which just happens to be owned by a company associated with Government Technology magazine that was sold two years ago to a media company whose top management include Scientologists, New York Times media writer Tim Arango reported in 2009.

The implication being something sinister might be in the offing. However Arango provided no evidence of Scientologist malfeasance in his story and there have been no followups subsequent to the initial handwringing.

"Good for him, I figured something like this might happen but I didn’t think it would happen this soon," former Funkhouser right hand man Joe Miller says of Funk’s move out of town.

As for any connections between Funk and/or wife Gloria to Scientology "There’s none," Miller says. "Gloria was actually pretty anti-religion and he’s sort of Judeo-Christian, but not practicing."

Nor is Miller worried about Scientologists hijacking the 25 year-old magazine.

"I think this is completely detached," Miller says. "Scientologists, even though they’re weird, their intellectual pursuits are somewhat reasonable from what I understand."

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22 Responses to Hearne: Former Aide Says No Scientology Connect with Funk Family

  1. Rainbow Man says:

    Sly James Is Already better
    Sly is already bitching about the lockout. Getting pissed. He wants football. Cleaver or Funk would never do that. Football was too Cro-Magnon man for those intellectual purists. Barnes would have bitched… but she actually made things happen. History makes her look pretty good. She just needed to stay another term.

    You have got to hand it to this dude Funk. We are going to look back on this guy in ten years and laugh our asses off. Then cry. Classic… he moves. He had to. But we really needed a strong mayor during his tenure during a crucial time. We need a tenant for Sprint and had to weather this recession. We needed a leader. This guy actually made KC go backwards.. What a complete FAILURE as a mayor.

  2. smartman says:

    El Ron Hubbard
    My Nostradamus gene predicts a Vince Foster type ending to this story.

  3. Hearne Christopher says:

    Cleaver was a huge Chiefs fan. Didn’t he go to Japan with the team for that pre season game?

  4. chuck says:

    If I wasn’t an inveterate gambler
    I would never watch football.

    Golf. Ok.

    Think about it.

    This big douche bag, can run further than this other big douche bag, into a group of big douche bags.


    Cue the hating.

  5. chuck says:

    Athlete Interviews
    I would rather have Harley come over and stick fuckin needles in my eye balls while he reads me every post he ever wrote than listen to some fuckin cement headed athlete tell me, one more fuckin time, again, please, one more fuckin time, that they are going to take it “one game at a time”.


  6. chuck says:

    Hey Harley-
    I am sorry I said that. It was a joke.

    Seriously, I love reading your “Stream of Consciousness” posts.

    They are very entertaining.

    I shouldn’t have been dissrespectful, just makin a joke buddy.


  7. chuck says:


    How about a former or current intern from 610 or 810?

    How about you make a call to the many local colleges who have kids writing for the school newspaper and ask them?

    The kid prefaces his efforts with a disclaimer, that relates to his youth and inexperience.

    Just throw somethin the fuck out there. If it is couched properly, it hunts (Mixed fuckin metaphors).

    Do you want me to find a guy for ya?

    No sarcasm, I got nothin else to do.

  8. chuck says:

    Look, I love Greg Hall
    His columns fuckin kill.

    That said, there is no patent or trademark on his approach.

    Quotes from OTHER sports commentators, followed by your own takes, is fuckin genius.

    Just steal his idea.

    There is no such thing as originality.

    Disraeli most famous quote—“Never apologize” (Truncated).

    Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.

    Here is a word for ya—-“Podcast”.

    Ok, I AM being a smartass.

    Still, get a fuckin SPORTS GUY!!

  9. Steveo says:

    Chuck, you are right on!
    Let’s review. Harley’s always right. Hearne is always righteous. But Chuck Fuckin’ Lowe is always right on, man!

    To use the 2nd oldest football cliche, take the ball and run with it, Chuck. Find Hearne a sports guy. ‘Cause he’s too busy being fucked in Topeka. Only it’s not by the legislature. It’s his girlfriend, so good for him. But Christ, the readers are left to change topics within a post faster that drivers change lanes without signalling on I-70. This post was supposed to be about Funk and Scientology. and someone please nudge Hearne and tell him for the headline, the spelling is AIDE, not AID.

    Jesus. So Chuck–just do it. Find Hearne a sports guy. Maybe a speller, and someone who will stand up to his skinny ass and say, “Dude, even the Weekly Reader IN THE 1950’S had photo CAPTIONS!”

  10. chuck says:

    Ok, I just went back and read Greg’s
    last 6 posts.

    Fuckin on the money.

    I swear, if you read his stuff more recently, I think he has “upped” his game. He is better than ever.

    WHO CARES!!??!!


    Its a great format, and your guy/girl will pick up steam as he/she goes.

    Right now, and for the last month, there is a GIANT hole in your blog. jmo.


  11. chuck says:

    I don’t think Hearne realizes how cool this blog is.

    I would get a guy for him, but I don’t want to waste my time without prior approval.


  12. chuck says:

    I like that I 70 ref. 🙂

  13. Steveo says:

    Chuck, you have permission…
    Chuck, rather than read thru Hearne’s last 200 posts, trust me on this–he ALREADY asked readers to find a new sports guy. And I know Hearne, and he is OPEN and READY for anyone talented and “sassy” or quirky to step up and do it. Hearne has no issue with people stepping forward. He’s just incredibly CHEAP. Way beyond frugal.

    Like when he justified his illegal right turn on the basis that braking would hurt his gas mileage on his toy car.

    So–as the shortest coach with the worst wig (Hank the Tank Stram) always said, “Matriculate down the field, boys!” Find a sports writer. Who works cheap. As in…free for a month, then (and only because we’ll be in Chiefs season) instead of Hearne squeezing for another free month, the SportsBlb could command $100 a month, posting 3x a week. email hearne@kcconfidential.com with a sample column.

    I think your idea of commentary on the commentary is great, a proven numbers builder. Greg Hall didn’t pioneer it, and certainly it’s not copyrighted! Sassing back: it’s All American.

    The reason one of the existing sports reporters have stepped forward is–the pay is crap. It’s a hobby job. But as Greg Hall proved, you can even TAPE 610 and 810 so you can grab the quotes accurately, then after your day job, grab a beer and knock out your own opinions, without having to talk to a creep controlling producer or sit on hold to get your 90 seconds on air talking back.

    Find us someone, please, Chuck. Hearne will be so grateful, he’ll give you some trade bucks. At Jardines. Or maybe fix a dent for you, from one of your Saturday benders, at A&A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. chuck says:

    Have Kerowhack comment on sports.
    His lack of prescience in no way mitigates his knowledge on stats and history.

    Sports commentators are just Referees in a toss up.

    There is one caveat.

    He (Kerowhack) will have to forgo the Etruscan, cuneiform “Code Of Hammurabi” writing style so normal human beings can figure out if Alex fuckin Gordon got a home run or was biblically involved with Mermaid.

  15. chuck says:

    ok, I will.
    BTW, I am on vacation, and drunk right now. 🙂

  16. Steveo says:

    So where does our Chuck vacation?
    At home? Trailer? Lake? Great Wolf Lodge? Putt putt golf across from the old Gates and that forlorn Stadium Inn?

    Can’t be in a dive bar right now, they would not have internet…
    I KNOW you’re not at Starbucks…jesus F….too funny.

    “I KNEW Macchiato when he was a cardinal for Pope Gregory! Get me a vinte, asshole!”

  17. chuck says:

    In my basement where I belong
    Sports Jew bschloz, that is one of the funniest videos I have ever seen in my life. Jesus, I laughed so hard I got a little sick.

    Ok, here is my goal today on vacation.

    I am going to get a bottle of Vodka (I am out) and drink the whole thing, while I continually blog.

    Back soon.

  18. chuck says:

    Before I go,
    The Georgia O’Keeffe reference in the video was the fuckin best!!

    Hic’, I m off…

  19. smartman says:

    El Ron Problemo
    Gents, Glazer is THE sports guy, capiche? He thinks therefore he is. No one is going to step up for free or for duckets only to get beat down by the King of Sting. I’ll bet my sagging scrotum that’s one reason Greg Hall left. When you work for free or for cheap you’d think your domain is your domain.

    Hearne can’t separate the personal from the business and tell Glaze no sports stick to T&A and pop culture, (insert name here), is the sports guy

    Matthew can still do soccer since in the US it’s technically not a sport. It’s our version of curling.

    Why do you think Kelly Urich is still here? His schtick is weaker than a cocktail at Burger King but Hearne doesn’t want to hurt his feelings and tell him he sucks like a supercharged Dyson.

    More than a sports guy Hearne needs a partner to run this damn thing and turn him loose to do what he does best. Despite the advantages of his DNA strain it’s a waste of his true talent, to schmooze and conquer, to run the day to day of a blog.

    Who drives to Topeka to get laid? Is that true?

  20. Rainbow Man says:

    Sly James Is Better Than Cleaver
    Hearne… So what if Cleaver took a free trip to Japan. I said he would not have complained that loudly about a lockout when he was Mayor. That guy drove more convention business out of here and had a skewed vision of what was important to this city. What is his legacy? Hwy 71? Barnes already has a real legacy.

    Sly James looks promising as well.

  21. Who Knew says:

    Kelly Urich is a dude?
    And here all this time I’m thinking he/she was a mannish chick. I figured she/he was copping Hearnes meat whistle so he was throwing her/him a bone…Pun intended. Confusion aside, I’ve never been able to get through more than 2 or 3 lines of the corn ball shit he / she writes. So maybe he’s taking it up the coat or something. Hearne does drive that fruit mobile. I can’t explain why he/she bothers writing, or why Hearne bothers running it.

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