New Jack City: Jack’s Best (if Questionable) Movie Bets at the Holiday Weekend Boxoffice!

Thinking of taking in a movie this long holiday weekend?

Here are sure Two-To-Disappoint!

(Translation: Movies that didn’t live up to expectations.)

The first is the new Tom Hanks produced, directed and co-written romantic comedy LARRY CROWNE that has him starring  as a mid-level manager who unexpectably gets blown out at a large U-Mart big box store.


No college education, which somehow prevents the company from promoting his underlings with degrees.
That’s when he heads back to school—community college—falling for Julia Roberts, a burned out teacher with a crumbling marriage.

Student-teacher relationship? That’s something we didn’t see coming.

Whatever! You’d think with those two combined with the co-writing talents of Nia (‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’) Vardalos, they would’ve come up with something a little more meaty than this weak, predictable, vanilla script. Which plays out like a made-for-tv movie on the Lifetime channel.

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My other big disappointment is BAD TEACHER!

If you were thinking this might be the academic version of BAD SANTA, I’m here to tell you it’s not!

Cameron Diaz plays a foul-mouthed, don’t give a damn teacher who’s desperate to land a rich husband and dump her job. To that end she now adds money making schemes to her daily routine to buy a boob job. Which are not cheap considering they come in pairs.

Along the way, she’s trying to win over dorky but rich substitute teacher Justin Timberlake while being persued by gym teacher Jason Segel.

I hate to say it but if you’ve seen the red-banded trailer on-line you’ve pretty much seen the movie.

This one could’ve and should’ve been so much better! It’s not even worth me giving it the finger!

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Here are my picks of Six-Summer-Sizzlers (a.k.a.: Jack’s current best bets at the boxoffice!)

** TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON—Bigger, badder and louder, effects-laden popcorn flick, even though its about a half hour too long. (Note: the 3-D upcharge is worth it here!)

** BRIDESMAIDS—The terrific sleeper comedy-hit of the summer! Written by and starring Kristen Wiig, it overcame its horrible chick flick title to play equally well to both sexes!

** SUPER 8—Wunderkind filmmaker J.J. Abrams‘ tribute to movie meister Steven Spielberg works!

** CARS 2-–Pixar’s 12th straight animated hit this time takes the cars overseas. It may not have quite the charm of the original but it still makes for a fun night out for the entire family!

** X-MEN: FIRST CLASS-–After letting the franchise slide, 20th Century-Fox has given it a breath of fresh air with this epic beginning of the X-Men saga.

** MIDNIGHT IN PARIS-Woody Allen written and directed (but not acted in), is his best comedic effort in recent memory! Owen Wilson plays a young Woody-like ‘blocked’ novelist and nails him.
Rachel McAdams, Marion Cotillard, Kathy Bates and Adrien Brody round out the fun cast.

Agree or disagree! Or as once expounded on the soundtrack of a classic trailer: "….To keep from fainting, just keep repeating, it’s only a movie. Only a movie. Only a movie. Take as much as you can!"

Have a happy holiday!

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2 Responses to New Jack City: Jack’s Best (if Questionable) Movie Bets at the Holiday Weekend Boxoffice!

  1. jen says:

    Bridesmaids rocks
    We’ve already seen ‘Bridesmaids’ twice and think its a heck of a lot funnier than the ‘Hangover’ sequel. I would recommend to anyone who wants to go laugh for a couple of hours.

  2. steveo says:

    Cmon, Herne–get the photo right for Hanks’ movie
    You showed him with Roberts –in Wilson’s War–their last movie.
    Get one from THIS movie.
    Add then, add photo captions.

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