Hearne: What To Do While You’re Not Watching Soccer @ Livestrong Sporting Park

For starters, you’d best not smoke – unless you find yourself  on the roof of the owners box (more on that later)

With more than 11,000 season tickets sold – versus 3,000 and change last year – there’ll be lots of fresh faces soaking up soccer and sun in KCK this summer. But given the sorry state of the team’s play, they’re going to need to find something to do.

I mean, besides watching soccer.

Not a problem. You can shop. The Wi Fi at Livestrong Sporting Park is top notch, so be sure not to forget to bring your smart phone. There are concerts with local bands before the games (don’t miss the Beautiful Bodies in October).The restrooms are garnished with his and her soccer silhouettes

Sporting Club is also a founding partner with TheCoolTV multicast television network out of Lawrence. It will provide attendees who sign up (for free) as members "unique opportunities to access exclusive music content and events."

So there’s that.

Now let’s take a look at what fans will be finding as they seek to get away from the lackluster play on the pitch.

 "You can’t smoke out here, sir," shouted a SKC staffer several yards outside of the entry portal to the stadium. "No sir, you have to go across the street to smoke. They don’t want you smoking on the property."

Wow.

Thanks to the LiveStrong anti-cancer Smoking Nazi’s, you can get busted for smoking 20 yards or more away from even entering the general stadium grounds. Unless it would appear you’re living large atop the owner’s suit overlooking the field.

"They were all up on the roof over the owner’s box before the game before the starting lineups were announced smoking cigars," says one media observer at the game. "But they said there would be no smoking anywhere on the property when they made the LiveStrong announcement."

Let’s talk concessions. Which while interesting are far from cheap – I mean, inexpensive.

Sixteen ounce (plastic) bottled domestic beer, for example, goes for $7.75 per. That’s about six times what you’d expect to pay at local retail outlets.

"You can get a six pack of Bud Light or Miller Light or Coors – any of the three domestic beers for less than $8," says Jen at K-7 Liquors in Shawnee. And a 12-pack of Moosehead at Gomer’s goes for not much more ($9.98).

 A giant bag of peanuts at $4 seems reasonable. As does the $4 cotton candy and snow cones.

However $4.50 for bottled water – the same price as Gatorade – and "regular soda" at $5 seems pricey.

Burgers go for six bucks, chicken tender baskets $8, hot dogs $4.50, bratwurst $5, chips $2 and "bottomless" popcorn $8. A "cheese cup" to dip your pretzels in is priced at a buck. Dippin’ Dots $5. A pair of pork tacos $6 and that bacon-wrapped hot dog (all aboard for KC’s next appearance in the "fattest cities" poll) goes for $8.75.

Mixed drinks – two per person max – are $8.25 each and stop, along with beer sales, at the 80th minute or before at the descretion of management (in other words depending upon if pissed off "Cauldron" fans are peppering the field with trash like last night).

"Oven fresh pizzas" – Minsky‘s to be specific go from $5 for cheese to $6 for pepperoni to $7 for a "Papa Minsky." A garden salad chaser will set you back five buckers.

A half slab of "Smokehouse Ribs" runs $10, with pulled pork and beef brisket sandwiches @ $6.50 per and $2 for beans and/or slaw. BBQ nachos – whatever they are – are priced at $7.50. And, stop the presses, a refreshing cup of hot chocolate costs $2.50.

But all of that hardly constitutes shopping, does it?

When it comes to gear, SKC has it way better covered than the Wizards of yesteryear.

Every imaginable article of clothing short of thong underwear (did I miss something?) is there for the asking. As are "car flags," wall clocks and even trash cans! yes, trash cans. The only thing missing were the pricetags. 

So how much exactly for the SKC trash cans?

"I think they’re about $20," said the third SKC store staffer I asked, having radioed unsuccessfully for confirmation. "If I remember correctly."

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34 Responses to Hearne: What To Do While You’re Not Watching Soccer @ Livestrong Sporting Park

  1. smartman says:

    Shop Til You Drop
    One thing you can do at the game is go to amazon.com on your phone, tablet or laptop and shop for LA Galaxy gear. There are over 30 items listed.

    For Sporting KC….NOTHING. For a team that speaks about being a beacon for soccer in the Midwest and being all that and a bag of chips when it comes to tech savvy marketing and connectivity that, as Tony Botello would say is an EPIC FAIL.

    Was there anything on the menu for the health conscious or vegan crowd. Soy corndogs perhaps?

    Home Depot Center, where the Galaxy play has KILLER food choices similar to a damn Four Seasons Room Service menu.

  2. katie s. says:

    smartman – my husband and i are writing letters to the park asking for better vegan/vegetarian options. it was a veritable meat fest at the concession areas and we were joking that with a bacon-wrapped hot dog available, you’d think they could balance things out just a bit by having a veggie burger available.

  3. j-mac says:

    Heres an idea Hearne
    Stop smoking. 1995 called – they want their chain-smoking, hard-drinking, gumshoe gossip columnist back.

  4. smartman says:

    @katie
    Thanks for the info. I’ll do the same to be proactive in anticipation of my first visit. Kind of shocking that no healthy or vegan choices were available……given that there is SOME correlation between the type of affluent educated and upscale customers they seek to attract and healthy dietary choices.

    If only they could figure out a way to make the bacon wrapped hot dog into a corndog that you could deep fry and then dip in that processed cheese goo that’s one or two molecules away from being plastic….and then roll that around in some bacon bits and top it off with powdered sugar.

  5. Jack White says:

    Smartman Speak with Forked Tongue
    Really? No SKC apparel on Amazon? Then this must be a mirage.

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=sr_nr_i_0_br?rh=k%3Asporting+kansas+city+soccer%2Ci%3Asporting&keywords=sporting+kansas+city+soccer&ie=UTF8&qid=1307791002

    What will you do now, complain about the prices? By the way, besides the foods Hearne highlighted, i saw stations offering a variety of breads and vegetable and pasta salads as well as sushi, among other non meat items. If you wanted something to eat, there were plenty of options besides meat.

  6. chuck says:

    Th eonly thing that sucks worse than the NBA
    is soccer.

    6 fuckin hours in, its 1 to nothing.

    Jesus, bring “Remembrance of Things Past” to every soccer game you go to.

    Proust musta played soccer.

    The first 43 pages are based on how his fuckin head feels on a pillow.

    Still, reading this, is a fuckin light year more exciting than succer, er soccer.

    Why don’t we all just stuff out mouths full of fuckin Brie chese, hold fuckin hands, and move to Africa, or Europe or fuckin France.

    Soccer.

    Oh, I know, ban kickoffs, they are too dangerous. Lets go watch soccer!

    Spearing, thats a fine!!! Lets go watch soccer!

    The QBs will now wear a pink dress, and if they get runs in their hose, its a 15 yard penalty!! Lets go watch soccer!!

    Linebackers will now be fined if a receiver’s ear rings come off during a tackle. Lets go watch soccer!!

    “Leave your balls on the coffee table honey, and lets go watch soccer!”

    Unfuckinbelievable. Americans go watch a game where no one bleeds, and you don’t use your fuckin hands and ACTING can actually win a game. ACTING for fucks sakes.

    The American emascualtion continues un abated.

    I’m gonna go drink some black fuckin coffee, eat a goddamn fuckin steak, then light up a fuckin Chesterfield and sing the national anthem in my fuckin underwear (with holes) on the front lawn.

    Furthermore, I am gonna smack your kid in the grocery store when the little shit screams for candy and throws a tantrum. Hard, he/she will NEVER do it again.

    Plus if I see any fuckin soccer on my TV, I am gettin my Navy Colt, blowing a hole in that foreign fuckin piece of shit, goin to Alaska, killin the fuck outta any Caribou (Fuck a deer with a French name, caribou? Really?) and I am drillin, and findin oil, refining it, sellin it for a reasonable price, saving America, then just because I am still pissed about fuckin soccer, I am flyin over to the mideast and kickin the shit outta the first 43 Hadjis I see, cause Marcel fuckin Proust pisses me off too.

    Soccer for fucks sakes…

  7. Hearne Christopher says:

    Um, I don’t smoke. But nice guess.

  8. Hearne Christopher says:

    They did have the garden salad at the pizza concession

  9. Hearne Christopher says:

    I didn’t see a sushi station and I lapped the place. I did see Casey from Nara but he was catering one of the private clubs.

  10. Jack White says:

    Hearne: Sushi station in the restaurant on west side of stadium above sections 106-108.

  11. smartman says:

    @jack
    To quote Elvis, “Thank you, thank you very much!”

    When I typed the word(s) Sporting KC in on amazon.com NOTHING came up. When I typed in LA Galaxy 30+ items came up. I did that as the simplest experiment I could think of. I did not spend any more time “hunting” for merch.
    A good “marketer” is gonna make it easy for the merch to find me instead of me having to find the merch.

    I also typed in asshole and your name came up. Go figure?

    In addition to Katie’s comment I spoke with 3 other people that attended the game who made the same comment about the lack of healthy or vegan food choices. They could find none and when they inquired of ushers or other staff were not directed to any stations or areas where those items were available.

    I suspect a number of people have or will contact SKC about this and I would hope that they will make adjustments to their menu to accomodate people that are looking for healthier alternatives.

    Now go make another album.

  12. smartman says:

    @chuck
    Brilliant! I was beginning to worry about you. I see you’ve been having an online affair with Fitz too. Don’t wander too far your skills are needed here. God Bless!

  13. bschloz says:

    @chuck
    Lets bring Professional Curling to the Norhtland….Build a World Class Curling facility @ Metro North Mall! Join the World Curling Association. Wisconsin and Minnesota already in!
    Independence has its Mavericks …KCK has T-bones/ SKC
    Gladstone needs curling ?
    *Just threw an empty McDonald’s sack out on 435….God Dammit lets bring back littering! More Jobs!
    Off to buy 10 cases of plastic bottled water.

  14. chuck says:

    🙂
    🙂

  15. Jack White says:

    Lame Smartman, Really Lame.
    Let’s start by saying you’re already complaining about the food at a venue you have never been at based on one post on here and your supposed three conversations with people we can’t verify. On the other hand we can verify that your comment about no SKC apparel on Amazon was one big fib.

    And we can also verify that your smarmy follow up excuse that you didn’t go hunting on Amazon and just typed in “Sporting KC” yielded no results is also inaccurate. I just typed in Sporting KC on Amazon and was given six options for searches including Sporting KC jersey, Sporting KC shirt, Sporting KC soccer, and Sporting KC in Sports and Outdoors. What’s your next excuse, you used the wrong browser?

    Anyone who is already complaining about a venue he’s never visited is suspect enough. Anyone doing that complaining and consistently making claims that are false isn’t just suspect anymore. He has no credibility left. To be fair, though, I have read a number of your posts on other stories. The credibility thing was long gone well before now.

  16. Jack White says:

    Also
    So Smartman, you claim you typed in the simplest experiment you could think of and didn’t get any response for “Sporting KC”. Besides the fact that is bogus and anyone on here can prove that themselves, I had to laugh at your assertion that this was bad marketing because a good marketer would have the merchandise find the customer. Did it ever dawn upon you that Sporting KC has nothing to do with Amazon’s search engine? Forget for a moment that your claim of no search results is totally wrong, you’re blaming the soccer club for how an Amazon search works? Weren’t you the guy a few messages back criticizing Sporting”s tech savvy? Classic. I think maybe you need to take a refresher course on how the internet works.

  17. Hearne Christopher says:

    Mmmmmm, mmmmmh! Damn that sounds tasty. Healthiful, too.

  18. Hearne Christopher says:

    Thanks. But I was patroling and reporting on the vendors in the public areas along the concourse. Not the private and/or indoor restaurants. The places fans go to grab a bite or drink and return to their seats.

  19. Hearne Christopher says:

    My impression is those restaurant or “club” areas are private or semi private. I’ll check it further Sunday. I spokes to one local restaurateur who was catering one of those “restaurants” and he had no idea what the name of it was or if it was open to the public or not.

    Hey, this was the shakedown cruise.

    All in all, Sporting did a good job. They even plan to put pricetags on the merch so people can decide if they want to spend however much money before they stand in line for 10 minutes to see what it scans.

  20. Hearne Christopher says:

    OK Jack, I’m in.

    Just typed in Sporting KC on Amazon and got….3,109 results and a first page with 16 of those results.

    And guess what?

    None of them were Sporting Kansas City anything. There was a Kansas City Chiefs car seat cover and a Royals Siren womens cap.

    That what you talking about?

    OK, page 2, 16 more items – none of them Sporting. Page 3, 16 more – finally a Sporting polo.

    Not exactly as easy of a search as you implied. Now I’m going to do it the way I would – using the actual name “Sporting Kansas City”

    First up, 25,000 results, page one, nothing from Sporting.

    I’m just saying…

  21. harley says:

    I FREAKING KNEW IT….I GUESSED IT…I KNEW IT!
    Right out of the box…before the crowd left the game…the whiner Hearne is complaining
    about the prices. He’s complaining about the food..he’s complaining about the
    smoking (I agree with skc…if these smokers want to pollute their lungs and the rest of
    us taxpayers have to pay for their habits…lets these filthy fools go 100 miles away and smoke).
    He’s complaining about everything.
    Hearne is a habitual complainer…no wonder you have to troll thru skanky old bars where
    90 year old great grandmas sing to find a date.
    If we have all learned something…its that hearne is so disatisfied with everrything
    and anything in life that he needs thi site to complain.
    Have you ever been to a movie…a show…the theatre…a stadium…an arena where they sell
    anything for the same price you could buy it retail. do you walk into starbuck and bring your
    own coffee and tell them to warm it up for you. When you eat breakfast…do you bring in your
    own eggs and have them cook them for you?
    Whine…whine…complain…complain…complain…complain….whine more…what a horrible
    way to live life. Oh and when will skc add nutri system foods to their menu.
    You must wake up complaining…”oh shit…the sun is shining…what a horrible day!!!!!!!!”

  22. blonde barbie says:

    OMG, Harley, you nailed it!
    Harley is always right.
    Thanks for spotting this.
    What shall we do? Boycott until Hearne says something positive?

  23. Matilda says:

    Hell, this is a mean boys club, and you are ALL whiners
    Moment of truth for Harley:
    This site is basically a mean boys’ club. You are ALL a bunch of whiners, smart, but negative. Even today, Harley, when you call Hearne out for being a whiner, what’s the thing you do? Point fingers and whine about the fact that he posted Tony’s sugary all positive Marilyn Maye appearance at Jardine’s.

    Harley, Smartman and Chuck–you are all very smart and I usually read this site to see what you say, but the truth is you all hate women and attack them at every turn.

    You are right, once again, Harley: Hearne is a chronic negative force as well. But apparently, that is what drives the clicks. I don’t know how the women in your lives put up with you. You must spend alot of money on them, because that would be the only way they could stand it: “the Mission Hills Whores”. Well, except for Chuck–what is he, the King of Sugar Creek or something? LOL.

    I don’t know how your fellow colleagues put up with you. Oh yeah, I forgot–you all are lone rangers. You can’t work with others. That’s why you work alone, and that is why you spend your days posting here. You’d rather be right.

    As for the KCC celebrity insiders or whatever someone called it, Smartman just wants to say nasty things and not be edited. Sorry, this site has been monetized. Advertisers don’t need to jeopardize their good will paying to print your worst language…you anonymous slug. Start your own blog, Smartman. But since I know who you are, I also know, you don’t have the followthru to own it. You are just a sniper.

  24. chuck says:

    Just some clarification-
    I love girls. Always have, yes to a certain extent I objectify them, but then, if the truth is told, to a certain extent, you girls objectify men.

    Proof of my words anyway, is here, I posted, last month, during a discussion on the Catholic Pedophile Problem, this reccomendation of girls, girl power, and how much I think of them…

    on May 28, 2011 at 11:05 am chuck
    Ya know, the real problem with the church, and the world, is there ain

  25. chuck says:

    By the way, I am the King of Ruskin Heights.
    Hear me fuckin roar!!

    🙂

  26. Gloria Steinem says:

    Good post, Chuckles. But girls are females younger than 18.
    The rest of us are called and want to be called WOMEN, please.
    Not ladies, women.
    Thanks for respecting that.

  27. Hearne Christopher says:

    Hey, Wild Man: I’m not complaining about the prices. Read a little closer. I’m merely reporting them, dude.

  28. Hearne Christopher says:

    Ask and you shall receive, blonde barbie.

    Nice handle!

  29. smartman says:

    @matilda
    I love women. I HATE BITCHES along with HOT BEER and WET TOILET PAPER. Lighten up! You seem to take EVERYTHING way too seriously.

    The core demo here is “semi cultured but still evolving Neanderthal”. It’s a pretty exclusive club. We break balls here. You give as good as you get or you get out. Kinda like a Friars Club Roast.

    I don’t care if I’m “edited” or “deleted”. Not my call and it goes with the territory when you dispense sardonic cynicism.

    I get a bigger kick from the criticism than the kudos. Not that I’m one to brag but Greg Hall did say I was one of the best writers on here. HE GETS IT! It’s just a bunch of words and you apparently give far more meaning and relevance to them than I do.

  30. Rainbow Man says:

    to the newcomers
    Smartman gives up a decent piece of advice here. You will notice that as Neanderthal as KC Con posters are… we are still content that there have been no Anthony Weiner articles from Hearne. We don’t need that… Too easy..and it is not really KC oriented. So Jack White..welcome. I have said this before…KC Con is basically the on-line interactive version of Esquire for Kansas City. There is talent here… on Hearne’s team… and in the posting community.

  31. mermaid says:

    To set the record straight..
    Hearne isn’t negative at all. He is just commenting on the place. As far as Matilda goes (never seen her on here before but) she is right on about Chuck, Smartman, and Harley! They hate women and I’m guessing it’s because they can’t get one. Chuck and Smartman degrade women and say the most horrendous things about them. I can’t stand either one of them.

  32. mermaid says:

    Hearne where is
    Hearne I was looking at Donnelly’s column on the club and the pics are gone of the suites. Where are they? Why are they gone?

  33. smartman says:

    @mermaid
    I’m willing to bet you whatever you want to wager that harley, chuck and me treat the women in our lives with far greater dignity and respect than any man has ever treated you with.

    You take all this shit far too seriously. It’s not like this is The Economist or Christian Science Monitor. Stop getting your XXXL panties in such a wad. Go buy a new pair at Lane Bryant and send me the bill.

    Who better to be a pyromaniac than a firefighter? Who better to kill you than the doctor that can save your life? Who better to understand love than one who understands hate?

  34. chuck says:

    Mermaid, your usual posts conclude with
    how shitty this little town is (I think your probably Tony Botello in drag.), and that you are leaving just as soon as you can. We are just doing the very best we can, to motivate you.

    This place sucks! Too small a pond for your prodigious talents and ego. Take those talents south, to, maybe, Bassfield Mississippi, pop. 250. You would be one of the top 125 chicks there.

    Be sure and write.

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