When I was a kid, my Dad told me, "Son, you can catch a rabbit or a squirrel if you can get salt on their tail."
Good, old Stan…
Remember that one? So like a moron, I would get my little brothers, Jeff and Jack, and go chase the little bastards all over the back yard. We never got close to any of them. When I was a little bigger we moved onto a cardboard box with a string and carrot. That didn’t work either.
I have to admit, like most little kids, I eventually got to play with a couple rabbits. Someone would bring one to "show and tell" at school and we’d get to take the bunny home for a day or two. However, nobody ever brought a squirrel to school.
Those fast, furry little creatures let you get close, then whammo! They’re gone. Up a tree usually. Even my dog Jr. never got a real squirrel. He’d corner a ground squirrel now and again, but that’s not the same.
But a few weeks back our office manager Kristy came in with a tiny baby squirrel.
So we all decided to see if it could become man’s new best friend. The answer is YES!
It’s a girl squirrel named Hope. So damn cute. She loves to climb all over us at work. We only have her during the daytime. At night she goes home and sleeps a lot. Bet the comedy crowd would go crazy seeing that little bugger hanging onto me upside down.
The squirrel is clean and neat – she cleans herself – and we wash her as well. She almost never leaves your body unless it’s to get onto another person’s. She doesn’t even try to run away. She’s now nearly full grown and no, she doesn’t bite us hard at all.
They can bite though, squirrels have very sharp claws and teeth.
But if you give them love, they love you back, just like my little dog Jr. and my cat Monkey. Too bad women aren’t that way, huh?
Whitney loves animals too, especially my squirrel Hope. She’s special. By the way, she sleeps in a cat cage and loves it.
So here’s my advice; go get yourself a little squirrel, walk it on the Plaza and the girls will love you.