Glazer: Down & Out in Kansas City w/ Royals, Chiefs

With the passing of Split, it reminds me of the good old days of the Kansas City Royals.

Those days are long gone. Nearly a lifetime ago we mattered as a ball club. Now we only make ESPN news when our pitcher gives up a record 11 runs in one inning on the way to giving up 19 total runs.

Once again the Royals are much closer to last place – six games out – than first, 8 1/2 games out.

By June lst we’ll be in next to last in our division. To be honest, we stink again. Yes, the team is barely watchable. No pitcher that matters. Almost no hitting to speak of. And a couple young guys who have "potential" but are doing just above average like Hosmer, the next George Brett, batting .281. That’s decent, but not anything worthy of the national news.

Zip, zero, a no-show, nothing, nobody cares.

Our pitchers stink; Soria has a 5.12 ERA – not doing well at all. No starter that is KEEP worthy yet. Alex Gordon and Billy Butler are back to normal with batting averages of .283 and .289. Big wow! No power hitters on the team. Oh yeah, Francouer has 9 homers on the way to a meaningless 25 or so.

This team will improve just a few games from last years stink ball club.

Don’t worry we are getting ready for, uh, what? Nothing.

The Royals will not buy any name player that matters – David Glass just won’t.  Our young guys are just that, and nobody is proven, nobody. Wow, we might be .500 next year – call the New York Times. Let’s have a parade, we are closing in on average? Yep.

The long cold winter is here.

The fans are not buying in at all. Now that they have seen the kinda-new stadium, they are staying home. Even the St. Louis Cardinals series didn’t draw. That was always a sure thing. Nick Wright guessed well; over half the 2/3 filled stadium was made up of St. Louis fans. With attendance at 70,000 for three games vs. more than 100,000 last season, do the math. Had the St. Louis fans not showed, man, it would have been like 17,000 a game or less.

To be honest, I see nothing to indicate a title run in the next few years, nothing close.

It’s easy to be better when you were baseball’s worst team ever for years. Now we just stink.

And how great is this? By July, when we are 20 games out, we’ll have the Chiefs to wish for and think about.

Now, my God, there really could be no NFL season. Now what?

The long cold summer will continue. Guess we can watch MU Football. They might win 9 or 10 games. Then we can wait for KU basketball. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

But I’ve got news, the Chiefs don’t seem to be much better.

At the end of the season they were clearly a lost ball club. The last few games they stunk it up. They were handed the division. But Oakland was clearly the best team by seasons end.

Baltimore crushed us as did the Raiders in the last two games. Our quarterback, The Franchise is very much in doubt, we have no established top receiver, just one running back and a B- defense. That said the Chiefs might win 7 with the schedule they have now. It’s for real, they likely are not. Oh yeah, just wait for next year after this and after that.

As of this time we have nothing to hang our hat on with either team.

As I have written before, the promise of a GREAT YOUNG FARM SYSTEM with the Royals has been total bull crap for decades. To be really honest we have delivered almost nobody. Carlos Beltron and Johnny Damon were just solid players, not great. We so far have developed Zero pitchers that matter, yes I know Zack won the Cy Young, right.

If you fielded all of our best players of the last 10 years, we’d finish at best second in the division. At best.

Hey, I love the NFL, college ball, even post season NBA, which has good TV numbers now. Baseball is kinda in my rearview mirror. Don’t believe me? Ask people in your office who was in the World Series last year. Maybe one in 10 will know, if that.

Sorry to remind you all of crappy news. Hey the pools will be busy for about six weeks, then that’s over. Maybe Palm Springs or Miami is the answer. Go Royals, Go Chiefs. PLEASE. Help!
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17 Responses to Glazer: Down & Out in Kansas City w/ Royals, Chiefs

  1. Cliffy says:

    While a lot of it is true, how many times are you going to write this?

  2. chuck says:

    I ain’t a big baseball guy, but this team is 10 games better than last year, without Duffy. I think they are 10 games better again, next year. JMO.

    The Chiefs will hump like fuck to win 8 games, but remember, the rest of the West has to play pretty much the same schedule. The Raiders will be pretty tough this year, and the Chargers will not come out of the gate so slow. 9 Wins is a good guess to win the West.
    Every year in the NFL, there are 4 segments. 1) is the very first game. Don’t bet on shit. 2) the next 6. 3) the next 6. 4) The last 3.

    With injuries, one year wonders, luck, and unexpected declines, betting on the record is pure guess work at this point.

    Take heart!!!

    Cheer up!!

    The LB they got in the third round will be a big deal imo. *cough!! cough!!*

    Remember, Warren Sapp dropped from 1 to 11, went to Tampa Bay cause of the hippie lettuce.

    B+ Defense


  3. chuck says:

    Amenities and commiserations
    with regard to the local sports scene, amongst folks with common cause.

    No Pulitzer, no big deal.

  4. Markus Aurelius says:

    this is like talking to my next door neighbor who knows
    nothing about sports but thinks he’s pretty knowledgeable. Stick to the drugs and hoes.

  5. KU Forever says:

    Glazer You Do Know Boy
    You had some great comments last season. Good picks, got all the playoffs and my Packers right. So I’m with you. Ya we suck, we know. I think people are just tired of hearing the truth.

  6. Steve says:

    I clicked on this abortion of an article because I saw Split’s picture. Would you please remove that photo? I don’t think he’d want to be associated with this “the sky has fallen” BS.

    Please do us all a favor and stick to writing about girls half your age and leave the sports journalism to others.

  7. Gerald Bostock says:

    Three strikes
    It’s hard to determine who knows less about baseball: Hearne or Glazer. But clearly they’re both in the running for the coveted Jason Whitlock trophy for baseball cluelessness.

  8. Java Man says:

    We visit to read Hall
    Greg Hall must go to bed every night with a sore back. The rest of these bandwagon sports bloggers add nothing to the content of the site.
    I still wish Greg could have hung on a bit longer to Sportswave.

  9. Harry Balczak says:

    Is this Tony’s Kansas City
    I must have stumbled onto the wrong blog with all the negativity about KC, I thought I was on Tony’s blog. What no stories about all the tang you can pull with your general douchebaggery?

  10. Kerouac says:

    kcindy 2011… time to pay the piper
    “But I’ve got news, the Chiefs don’t seem to be much better.”

    – that’s old news – Kerouac trumpeted said long before the 2010 kcindy mirage season was close to fini… and was right, per the usual.

    “The last few games they stunk it up.”

    – the last few games they weren’t playing the store mannequins that made up almost the entirety their earlier schedule…

    “They were handed the division. But Oakland was clearly the best team by seasons end.”

    – without question – kcindy backed in and was humiliated; as for the Raiders, they DOMINATED ‘rella – and physically intimidated them – TWICE…

    “Our quarterback, The Franchise is very much in doubt”

    – the real CG (aka ‘mutt ca$$el’s personal ball polisher’) has obviously been replaced by one of the Body Snatchers…

    “we have no established top receiver, just one running back and a B- defense.”

    – yes, but we DO have that unshaven duffing hobo of a head coach, and if we give him enough time, doubtless he’ll prove to be just as great an NFL coach as frank kush was(n’t)…

    “That said the Chiefs might win 7 with the schedule they have now.”

    – 5 tops with the help of Providence [ ‘northern’ variation, rather than East Coast locale]…

  11. harley says:

    come on…you can do better than this. Why are you writing the same old garbage.
    Noone cares about the royals…wrong…they could still have a good season if yost
    lets them play and they don’t get too down during losing streaks.
    come on glazer…bring in the real news…hookers…your hotties…woodside…
    who you’re boinking….all the old worn out actresses you’re busting…the jones…
    if we wanted to real this kind of crap we’d pay 75 cents and read the star.’
    Come on…this is a disappointment …its summer….and where is the
    fitness girl…mermaid and her new sleek body…and the rest of your
    harem…..we’re waiting~~~~~~““`

  12. Hearne Christopher says:

    We’re also awaiting your promised forecast and evaluation of this year’s Royals team. Remember those early heady days? You were pretty bullish, but when challenged said you’d need to see another month or two before declaring the Royals legit.


  13. smartman says:

    Yeah Harley
    Ask not what you can do for your c*nt but what your c*nt can do for you!

  14. PB says:

    R U Really This Dumb?
    “As I have written before, the promise of a GREAT YOUNG FARM SYSTEM with the Royals has been total bull crap for decades.”

    If comparing this next wave of legitmate young talent to past aborted attempts at a youth movement, than you truly are more clueless than one of your bimbo “girlfriends”. Signability issues/financial constraints, poor scouting and just plain bad luck hamstrung this organization pre-Dayton Moore. And are you really still spouting the tired David Glass refrain about not willing to spend the necessary $? In recent years, the Royals have spent more in signing bonuses for these heralded prospects than any other team in baseball. While they might not all pan out to be great players, the consensus among knowledgeble baseball people suggests this team will be much better due to that influx of young talent. Yeah, proof is in the pudding, but I would seriously question the credibility of anybody evaluating a 21-year old’s potential based on a .281 BA (shows how out of touch you are as this has been rendered a pretty meaningless stat) after just 68 ABs.

    Since it’s still apparently 2002 in Glaserville, I’ll be looking forward to his next timely sports post on how Carl Peterson and Lamar Hunt are only interested in attendance figures and not winning Super Bowl championships.

  15. Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

    Hosmer…ooooooohhhhh what a badass. Please.
    After today’s brilliant 0-6 performance, that stiff is batting a scalding .257. Welcome to the majors, putz.

  16. craig glazer says:

    The Royals Performance Speaks for Itself
    I rest my case. I see nothing to be excited about! Nothing.

  17. PB says:

    He’s Done!
    Yep, let’s just write him off after less than 100 ABs. Thankfully, the Royals didn’t do that with George Brett and his hefty .125 BA after a similar sampling. Even after his first full season at 21 (same age as Hosmer), Brett posted an unspectacular .282 with only 2 HRs and 47 RBIs in near 500 ABs. Hosmer will at least match or exceed those “lofty” numbers. And a good thing you guys weren’t the Phillies GM following Mike Schmidt’s first season (.196 BA) or he might have ended up slinging cheesesteaks at Geno’s.

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