Glazer: Local Cops On Ticket Writing Rampage!

They’re out in force...


They’re out in force...

Cops looking to give tickets for anything they can think of. You bet. Everyone needs the extra dough these days, even the law enforcement biz.
I’ve had more pullovers the past 12 months than ever in the last few years. I know, driving a fancy sports car doesn’t help. But I’ve been driving sportscars for 20 years, that’s nothing new.

Recently I got pulled over and written up for the tiniest traffic farts -none of them for speeding!

A Kansas City police captain in an unmarked car pulled me over five months back just off the highway. He said I cut him off, didn’t use my signal, didn’t buckle-up and my Insurance was expired. I got four tix.

Truth is, I was going the speed limit and he was driving slower.

So I just went in front of his car. I didn’t know he was a police officer. He got pissed, I think for my for moving in front of him, that’s all. The guy was a captain!  He had to go rummage around in his trunk to even find a traffic ticket pad. Meaning he never uses it.

I didn’t have my seat belt on, the rest was nonsense.

I gave him my old insurance card, but found the new one after he wrote me up and he said, "Show it to the judge." So yeah, he was upset with me for saying I used to be a lawman myself. That did me no good. He probably knew who I was and maybe that didn’t help either.

The best one was a couple nights ago.

Follow this action. I’m coming home from Legends about 11 P.M. on a Saturday. There’s almost no traffic on I-70 East, headed to Fairway, Kansas. And up ahead I see a couple racks of red lights, the Highway Patrol. They had pulled someone over and were out talking to them, likely giving them a ticket. Who knows?

So as I approached I slowed way down. They were like 15 feet off the highway on the shoulder. I went from 65 down to 45 MPH. And as I passed, I looked at them and moved on.

Within minutes I’m being lighted up by the Highway Patrol car behind me!

So I pull over to the shoulder. The TROOPER gets out of his car, comes to my passenger side and taps on the window. "Let me see your license and Insurance papers," he said.  I said, what’s up? I wasn’t speeding. And the trooper said, "Didn’t you see me and my partner back there? Why didn’t you change lanes? When the outside lane is open you have to move to that lane when passing police who are on the shoulder!"  

I said, officer, I used to be in law enforcement and I’ve never heard of that one. I was very polite. Thank God! He looked at my drivers license and said you took the test in 2009, it’s on the test.

I don’t remember that question, does anyone?

It could have been a $400 ticket but he gave me a warning. I felt relieved.

As I took off I thought, is that even true? You have to move to the outside lane if it’s available. Who knew?
Boy, it’s getting so Big Brother out there.

Glad I don’t drink much. I’ve had a couple pullovers because the police said I crossed the white line (probable cause to pull you over). But I hadn’t had one drink so they seemed disappointed and moved on.

Maybe I need to drive an SUV. They don’t seem to be so interested in those guys.

Are you guys getting pulled over more these days? Christ.

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32 Responses to Glazer: Local Cops On Ticket Writing Rampage!

  1. Axel says:

    Craig…please re-read your stories before you press submit or upload. Your grammar and editing and very poor. That aside, are you that dense that you haven’t heard of pulling into the far lane when pigs are harrassing a fellow motorist? Take a drive outside the metro and watch how others behave on the interstate when pigs are feeding. He should have given you that ticket, anytime you have to go to the “i used to do this” card, its as bad as “do you know who i am card”. Tool.

  2. Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

    The short answer is no. I haven’t been pulled over in probably 2 years. And when I do, it’s because I deserve it. Speeding, running stop sign, etc.

  3. bad ass jew, Berkowitz says:

    Yeah Its Bad Out There
    DUI checkpoints are on overload. I was pulled over in Overland Park to see if my seatbelt was hooked up. It was, the cop spent fifteen minutes looking at my blinkers, tires, you name it to find something to write me up for. lucky he found zip. Yes its a turkey shoot.

  4. Bag Man says:

    You Sure Get The Heat Boy
    We love it Craig Glazer. You get the cops, the comment people who want to hang you, so much joy for the afternoon read. Wanted you to know Craig Glazer me and my friends here enjoy your stories more than anything else we read in town. So don’t get your nuts in a bind when you get slapped by the comment section. Remember you GOT FANS WHO LOVE ALL THIS. Yes the cops watch for flashy dudes like you my friend. Price you pay for ‘cool.’ Keep those sex stories coming, my fav. Need some more new ones. Chow time.

  5. Brian says:

    Seriously Craig?
    You didn’t know that you are supposed to move over a lane when passing law enforcement on the side of the highway? I believe there are signs on the highway that even state it. You are to slow down if you are not able to move over due to other cars in the next lane.

  6. harley says:

    stop writing these phony ass comments complimenting yourself. They are so obvious they stand out.
    As for getting pulled over I seldom get pulled over. I drive a mercedes and very seldom will i get stopped.
    I don’t drive much and usually don’t head into the areas where cops congregate so I’ve not had
    any problems for years.
    However…i got stopped by some overland park police ho several years ago at 103rd and metcalf.
    3 other cop cars showed up. Wasn’t for speeding…a outdated license plate. but i had current
    paperwork that showed i was up to date. The assholes at the dmv on lamar gave me a wrong
    plate that actually said it was outdated…but it was their mistake and they gave mea new plate.
    but otherwise i don’t get pulled over. I don’t try to attract attention and i go the speed limits.
    I love to drive and listen to the radio…and to think clearly.
    Stay away from the I 35 overpasses like at 87th and 75th…..

  7. AkgayAnand says:

    Speaking of Lamar….
    Has anyone noticed how many damn pigs there are on Lamar between SMP and 95th? I swear, I passed 2 Mission Pigs, 2 Prairie Village Pigs, and at least 1 Overland Park Pig on my way home yesterday.

  8. PB says:

    Hey Affleck…
    Shouldn’t have to be a former officer to know about the changing lanes law, Ben. It went into effect a few years back almost immediately following an incident where some clown ran over and killed a highway patrolman while he had another car pulled over on the shoulder. Even before it bacame law, any SENSIBLE motorist would generally move over upon coming up on a police car, disabled vehicle or whatever that was stopped on the shoulder, but somebody like you was probably too busy looking at yourself in the rearview mirror to even notice this safety issue.

  9. mermaid says:

    Its the Porsche…
    I haven’t been pulled over in years. In fact probably 10 years! It’s your car Craig! The police are jealous. Anyone that’s making good money these days are going to be hated. Fact of life. Especially when you flaunt it. If you get a Lotus your definitely going to get it.Is my computer made of wood? Watch now I’ll get one!

  10. chuck says:

    How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
    3, one to change the lightbulb, one to direct traffic, and one to say “Shows over, nothing left to see here folks, move it along.

    Hey Glaze, the Oakland Raiders, genius fucks that they are, just re named their stadium, I shit you not, Stadium.

    Fuckin awesome.

  11. harley says:

    its the driver. If you’re out late at night they are going to stop you.
    simple…because 1 out of 3 people out after 1am have been drinkning…
    simple math.
    so glaze needs to hook up earlier and get his hotties bedded down earlier
    so he doesn’t get tickets. Real simple and easy.
    And probably glaze has 2 orv 3 hotties with him…so the police see this and
    immdatelly being the dogs they are…they stop him.
    Lamar….worst place for cops….watch around 79th street to 95th….wow…
    lots of school zones and they are like hawks there.

  12. harley says:

    come on glaze….tell me it aint so…
    tell me you’re not bringing jj walker back again…wasnt this guy
    just here…..bring in some fresh guys and some real acts..
    the guy is worn out and boring….saw his act on tv….

  13. smartman says:

    Bad Boy, Whatcha Gonna Do?
    As a former law enforcement officer you should know that ignorance of the law is no excuse. The one law that doesn’t get enforced is lights on when your wipers are on. They could write a hundred grand in tickets every time it rains.

    KCMO coppers could write ten grand a day at Gregory and Ward Parkway to idiots that can’t read.

    My experience has been that honesty, respect and humility go a long way when you get stopped. If they still write you up just bang their wife, or in your case their daughter. Take pictures and black out your face. Nothing pisses cops off more than pictures of their wives, girlfriends or daughters takin’ it up the pooper. Just drop a little note in that says you gave me ticky, I give her dicky. Drives ’em crazy. Cops wives are easier to make than chicken noodle soup.

    PS: Whatever you do don’t hide your stash under the rug. Ya know what I’m talkin about?

  14. Hearne Christopher says:

    He did slow way down.

  15. chuck says:

    Before you take up the carpet
    ya gotta take up the tacks.

    Say the secret word and win a hundred dollars.

    He could hide some blow in there.

  16. Hearne Christopher says:

    Remember my recent item from the traffic tickets lawyer in Car & Driver? Here it is:

    “Realistically, when it comes to tickets, sports cars come first, then motorcycles, Anything that makes speed obvious. It doesn’t have to be expensive, it just has to get their attention; put a wing on your Civic. “Rich guys go second.”

  17. Hearne Christopher says:

    See the above traffic tickets lawyer’s comment from Car & Driver.

  18. honky Tonk Man says:

    Cops Hate Me
    I got six traffic tickets last year and got my drivers license suspended. All speeding and all ten to fifteen over limit. BFD, those cops are jerks.

  19. monkey Man says:

    I Have A Job ThankYou
    One of you hateful white punks made me into a poem. I graduated from Johnson County Jr. College like all you white liars. So eat that poem fag. Cops hate blacks, even black cops hate us. They are as bad as anyone. Glazer you get away with shit cause you are a somebody thats all. Sides you were a pig too.

  20. Cliffy says:

    Reply From: Hearne Christopher
    05:48:45 PM – Wed. Apr 27. 2011

    He did slow way down.

    Hearne knows this because he had to raise his head from Craig’s lap to see why he was slowing down.

  21. Super Dave says:

    Watch it on I-35 from 6-35 to Olathe
    Kansas Highway Patrol writing tickets right and left have been every where.

  22. Hearne Christopher says:

    Way to go, Cliffy. Not only some great writing but great thinking!

  23. koo coo says:

    At Least You Got Cops
    Missouri cops are on vacation

  24. Rainbow Man says:

    I cannot believe you got a warning
    Glazer… come on man. Ask David Nolte who owns Nolte Bridal how he feels about the law…. He got pulled over on 70 a few years back and a car rammed into them while he was getting his ticket. The cop died and Nolte was nearly killed and spent a LONG time recovering from horrible injuries. Anyway…. there were a lot of cops getting clipped by cars out there… and that is why they adopted the law… It is a good law..

  25. Harry Balczak says:

    Glazer you are a Douchebag
    You are the epitome of a douchebag.

  26. smartman says:

    Whoa Nelly
    Hey Craig, just woke up to take a dump. Damn Metamucil! You know whop needs to get a speeding ticket? Your Kansas City Royals. Holy Shit! Are they speeding into last place or what? Lost 5 in a row and 8 out of the last 10. That’s gotta make your hair stand on end huh?

  27. Lee says:

    Tax Increase
    First of all, I am all in favor of more DUI stops. There’s no excuse for driving while impaired and I don’t want to be one of the victims of an accident where a drunk hits me.

    However, it is commonly known that cities, counties and states cannot raise or refuse to raise taxes to offset their revenue shortfalls. One easy way to raise money is to increase ticket writing. Parking violations, moving violations, code enforcement, etc. These tactics can raise big money without incurring the wrath of taxpayers as opposed to raising taxes so everyone pays what is necessary.

    They have also quietly increased the fines themselves. The little guy who can least afford the $100++ fine is the one who gets nailed. Politicians and police chiefs routinely deny this but the statistics bear it out. Much more fine revenue is flowing to governmental coffers and the number of tickets written has greatly increased in recent years.

    As for Craig, I say thank you for helping balance the books by paying lots of fines.

  28. Markus Aurelius says:

    it’s all part of desensitizing the public to a police state.
    During the 5 years we lived in Brookside (before migrating to the ‘burbs for good public schools) we had our house robbed (they cleared out nearly anything you could plug into a wall), a car stolen off the street in front of our house and a car broken into while parked on the street. The cops did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to even attempt to find the perpetrators. Other than the KCMO cops on the murder squad or narcotics, the rest of them have no interest in actually fighting or solving REAL crimes.

    The cops on traffic patrol, ought not to even be called cops. They certainly shouldn’t be given the same public respect as the real cops with a regular beat or those on murder, narcotics or even domestic. This isn’t just some guy whining that occasionally gets tickets — this is what friends on the murder squad say about the traffic goons too. I remember a few years back the Star did a feature on one of the traffic cops for the North patrol that had written something like 5000 tickets in one year – shattering the old record by a ton. His name was Buzz or Butch I think. The guy acted like it was some great accomplishment. Unless they were all C&I’s for people ACTUALLY endangering the lives of other drivers and pedestrians, then it was only great in the eyes of the city’s accountants.

    Why is it that cops sit out on divided four-lane roads like Shoal Creek Parkway, where there is little traffic relative to capacity and no kids running around and write tickets under the guise of making the road safe, and then NEVER go into a KCMO subdivision to catch people speeding 50 mph in a 25mph zone where little kids are EVERYWHERE? Because traffic cops are mostly lazy and have most have no interest in actually helping the public. They just want their $60-70k a year and the right to be an a-hole to anyone they like.

    Any people wonder why so many have little respect for cops. Friends, you have to EARN respect. Simply putting on a fancy outfit and hat doesn’t earn you squat.

  29. Markus Aurelius says:

    Hey Hearne — how about adding the ability for people to…
    edit their comments. Would be nice to be able to correct spelling/grammatical errors given that it’s difficult to catch them in the tiny “comment” box when composing a post.

  30. chuck says:

    The equestrian statue of Marcus Aurelius is in Bronze
    As should be your comments.

    Great take.

  31. BarKeeper says:

    Speeders…gotta hate ’em
    Yes, Hershel, speeding is indeed aggressive driving in spite of what your opinion might be! Everybody has their own personal, carefully tailored excuse for breaking the law, but it’s still breaking the law.
    Often, it’s ego-infested turds who simply see themselves as being so all-important that they just can’t live with the posted speed limits, being as they know far more than the civil engineers and traffic experts who set those limits; When in fact, it’s usually turds who are awful managers of their time and always running late to work or whatever commitments they have.
    So the legal drivers (those obeying the law) are forced to endure the bad traffic behavior exhibited by these rude a-holes as they make endless lane changes, cut-ins, cut-offs, tailgating, panic braking, and last minute exits crossing five lanes.
    And when these miscreants finally get a highly deserved ticket, they bawl like a calf that’s lost its mother cow.

  32. BarKeeper says:

    And Don’t Get Me Started…
    Don’t get me started on the worthless turds who drive too fast in neighborhoods and parking lots…they should be caned in a public place!

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