Glazer: Make Way for the Red-Blooded, Blue-Eyed, Ass-Kicking, All-American Jew!

Every group has its stereotypes…

Mexicans are lazy. Blacks are dangerous (and lazy). Asians can’t drive but they’re really smart. Oh, and Jews are cheap and pushy. Generally speaking, these stereotypes usually have an element of reality to them. Jews got their tag for a simple reason; older Jews who live here – and they’re dying off now – came from Europe where they were being slaughtered en masse for being, uh, Jews.

We all know about Germany…

However, the same things were going on in Russia and Spain (to a lesser extent). Kill the Jew. Why? No good reason, he’s not Christian; he’s different. Even though Jews caused no problems and helped with education and the economy – kill the Jew.

By the way, even Mel Gibson’s version of the Baby Jesus story, has the Jew only telling on the Big Guy. The Romans were the ones who tortured him and nailed him to the cross. Yet it was the Jews who were hated and the Romans were put in charge of the Christians. Like the head guy is the Pope – he’s Roman Catholic -go figure.

So the Jews had to escape to America and scrimp and save, thus becoming labeled as cheap.

Here, Jews made their kids go to college. And they saved every dime to do so. They preached morals and how to fit in with other Americans.

"Be a lawyer or doctor. Finish school. Stay married. Raise your kids to be educated."

And most Jews did just that and became, as a group, successful.

The old Jews were cheap so they would have money for their children’s education. And it worked. Today’s Jew is well heeled and far from cheap.

Some people used to think Jews were just good cooks, good economic managers and bad soldiers. Israel proved them wrong.

Today, Israel is America’s No. 1 battle partner. No other nation but ours matches its boots-on-the-ground military might. And that includes China and Russia. Ask the U.S. military.

Jews make up 2 percent of the U.S. population but 21 percent of the Ivy League student bodies. And 37 percent of the Academy Award winning directors and 38 percent of Business Week’s leading philanthropists and 51 percent of the Pulitzer Prize winners for nonfiction.

The Arab nations that were lucky enough to land on oil have offered almost nothing to the world but terror, death and insane, radical religious beliefs. Their nations are ugly deserts and slums owned by oil barons and leaders while the bulk of their people are very poor and have little to no education.

Israel looks more like the United States – they have no oil – and built their country with their own hands.

For example, between 1980 and 2000, Egyptians registered 77 patents in the U.S. The Saudis registered 171. But the Israelis registered 7,652!

Maybe they don’t believe in Jesus like most Americans, but other than that, we are the same.

Israel is our best friend and one of the smartest moves this country ever made in teaming up with another country.

Today, America is all really one group, one country. We pretty much look alike. Yep, lots of Jews have blonde hair and blue eyes. Paul Newman and Goldie Hawn are good examples.

And it’s time we embrace one another as true buds.

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13 Responses to Glazer: Make Way for the Red-Blooded, Blue-Eyed, Ass-Kicking, All-American Jew!

  1. smartman says:

    What?
    The US has intentionally kept Israel out of our Middle East conflicts so as not to further inflame the Arab world. If the Israeli army were marching in lockstep with us in Iraq or Afghanistan we’d have a real shitstorm on our hands. I’m sure the Mosaad is helping with covert ops but they sure as hell don’t have boots in the sand with our men and women.

    The Israeli Military is designed primarily for defense not so much offensive capabilities to project power outside the region. If the Russians or the Chinese want to take Israel out they can do it with the push of a few buttons.

    From a geopolitical standpoint Israel is a pain in the ass when you consider how much we spend protecting it. Give it all up to the Arabs, move all the Jews to Florida for a couple of years, nuke the piss out of the Middle East then move ’em all back. The notion of God, Yahweh, Allah et al is so much larger than acres and acres of hallowed real estate and disputed territory.

    The Muslims are fucking crazy. It’s a matter of when, not if, they will go 5150 on Israel. Hopefully, when that happens Benjamin Netanyahu will tell the US to fuck off and he’ll start dropping nukes. End result they all kill each other and we go in and take all the oil.

  2. harley says:

    GLAZER….TAKE OFF YOUR YAMULKE!
    what brought this on?
    One more impoortant thing that few people know.
    Israel is the country that most of the windows software was created. Israel is at the cutting
    edge in computer de velopement…and com;uter knowledge…far surpassing almost
    every other nation in the world.
    Microsoft has a major r and d centers in 2 secret locations in israel that use the
    israeli computer minds to research and devleope some of themost sophisitciated
    computer projects in the world.
    why…because israel has dev leoped incredible tech talent within their nation to
    work on these computer projects. No other country comes even close.
    When the major computer/tech companies need advice/info etc. they turn
    to the israelis to provide them with the most incredible data and minds
    anywhere in the world.
    We need to follow the israeli governments programs and the israeli
    system to get america’s system back in line.
    The israelis have proven that they have the most intelligent people in the
    world and they cultivate that energy and talent from an early age.
    VIVA ISRAEL. LONG LIVE THE JEWS. I LOVE BAGELS AND CREAM CHEESE.
    GOLDA MEIR WAS MY HERO. BRING ME SOME MATZOH FOR PASSOVER.
    Question: you know why the jews like watching porn movies backwards?
    answer: they like to see the hooker give the money back!

  3. bschloz says:

    Dress British and Think Yiddish
    @Smartman…only minority class that you fit in….
    @Harley… Prostitution the greatest business on Earth—- You Got It….You Sell It…You Still Got It

    Kind of a strange post Craig…combo spam mail / Passover Blog—
    Did you see Colin Quins HBO Special on The World …really good stuff!

  4. bschloz says:

    @Smartman…
    ^^^only minority class that you fit in would be…. (Smart and Rich)

  5. chuck says:

    I always think of Jews when I hear about gun control.
    I am not rabid either way about the right to peal off some rounds in the middle of the night from my Browning M2 Machine gun, but I always imagined if you spoke to the descendents of dead Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto, they would arm the populace to the teeth.

    Jews always make me think of guns. Not money, guns.

    I took a course back in 1975 called the Holocaust at UMKC. We had to read the book, “The Holocaust” by Nora Levin. I don’t know why I took the fuckin class, I read Ann Franke as a kid and was NOT especially filled with joie de vere upon completion of same. There were 4 or 5 Jews in the class with numbers tattoed on their arms. I was young back then but still wondered why the fuck you would not only re-live the shit, but just jump fuckin neck deep into every nuance and detail from living nightmare.

    Monday night, once a week from 6 to 9, I not only went over the readings, studied the book, listened to the teacher, but also got first hand commentary on just how fuckin evil human beings can be.

    I kept thinking, you fuckers needed guns. Especially in the Warsaw Ghetto. With little to no ordnance, Hitler’s troops were stopped dead in their tracks unitl the Panzers showed up and its off to sunny Treblinka.

    When those Jews talked, and boy did they talk, about their experiences in WWII, it was like a deep bruise they couldn’t quit touching to see if it still hurt, or maybe a bad tooth, they just wouldn’t shut the fuck up. I just wanted to give the fuckers guns, lots of guns, even then, you know, maybe then they could feel safe, but they didn’t. They just kept talking about thier little kids, and moms and sisters and what the fuckever I could barely take it. I couldn’t drop out, I was taking 17 hours working and 4 weeks into this shit by the time I realized I could not stand their fuckin pain, even second hand.

    They are rubbin the fuckin numbers on their arms while telling still another sad story and I was screaming for guns, GUNS!! GUNS!! GODDAMNYOU!! GUNS!!

    Then in film class, what the fuck, the teacher makes us watch “The Pawnbroker”. I had had it!! Fuck it, I never saw Schindler’s List, or any other fuckin movie about that shit EVER again!!

    It was like a Jewish Clockwork Orange, my eyes propped open to atrocities and Pretty Polly wants her fuckin GUNS!!!

    I am glad Jews are badasses now. Killer army, killer intent and everyone knows it.

    They got their fuckin guns.

  6. maureen says:

    Big Brain
    Well you fooled us again. A well thought out piece. Not up on the Jewish life but sounds good.

  7. bad ass jew, Berkowitz says:

    Glad they got them Chuck
    Nothing Craig or anyone can write that will change how people feel. We are all brainwashed as kids, so when we are told things my good old mom and dad or the neighbor kid, well they stick. Right or wrong. Jewish is a religion not a social structure, Jews in America are not the same as Israeli’s. For better or worse. The American Jew is mostly an American. thats all. Hell half of them celebrate Christmas.

  8. Honky Tonk Man says:

    People Are Playa Haters
    Its easy to dislike the Jews, they do too well in society to be liked.

  9. Monkey Man says:

    You Like them better than Blacks huh
    Blacks get the bad rap, Jews don’t come close to that. And they still bitch.

  10. Rainbow Man says:

    Some keen and kosher observations
    1. Kansas City is the 61st largest Jewish city on the planet. We have some Jews here.
    2. Craig has gone after every other taboo issue… why not tackle Semitism and anti-Semitism?
    3. Bas Ass Jew Berkowitz is right. The Jews here are not as vigilant as their Israeli bros… But then again. Steven Speilberg is not dodging mortars.
    4. Because I married into a family with a sizable Jewish segment to it…. I have learned a lot about Judaism and I love and respect their people and traditions. They are pretty similar to Irish and Italian Catholics when it comes to family.. but a little more serious. They love to party. Jews are a blast.. The holidays, the bar mitzvahs, the weddings. I have been obliviated at some fine Jewish customary ritual events.
    5. But they are good with their dough. Sorry… it is true.
    6. We do need to protect Israel. They have protected our Holy Land. They hurt no one. It is their country… fair and square.
    7. Jewish leaders wear suits. Arabs wear stupid royal garb or miltary outfits. Over time…it is proven… Leaders in such garb are usually nuts.
    8. Jews have been persecuted. Period. I have seen the serial numbers tattooed on the forearm of a family member. The Auschwitz membership card. It was not that long ago. It was real.

  11. jack Bat says:

    go Jews
    let her rip jews. I agree.

  12. dog says:

    Your crazy glazer
    I didnt know you were a Jew

  13. smartman says:

    Rebbi or not
    Hey Rebbi Lubivictell what’s ya gonna do about yo sistell? I pucked her in da ass and she gave me a blistell!

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