Glazer: The Corncob Files, a 420 Day Remembrance

So this is the day, huh, 4/20 right?

  For me it’s a time of remembrance. The first time I smoked the devil weed. All of us have stories to tell. Like many things the first time is well, not always the best time. It sure wasn’t for me.
My best pal, Jeff and I bought a gram of hash.

His older brother, Doug, told us this was the way to go. So Jeff and I went to 7-11 and got a corncob pipe. We put some tin foil over the hole and placed pinches of hash in the bowl. Then we lit the hash.

Just one problem.

Since neither of us smoked cigarettes, we couldn’t hold the smoke in our lungs. We were both 14, in ninth grade and nobody our age had smoked dope yet. So we knew nothing about it. We wanted to be the first cool guys to do it and tell the world.  Or at the very least, everyone at Meadowbrook Jr. High.

We were out in Jeff’s garage hiding from the parents. And we kept asking each other, "So do you see colors yet?  Is anything melting? You dizzy or high?"  We looked at each other and nodded, Uh, NO. Finally after an hour the hash was all gone and I said to Jeff, "Hey we got ripped off by your older brother, man. This stuff isn’t real, I don’t feel a damn thing." 

Jeff agreed. Here we’d spent 8 bucks for nothing. What a let down.
Then we went to his brother who laughed at us. "You two dummies wasted a gram of great smoke," he said. "You have to hold it in your lungs, dumb ass." 

Then he said, I want to be fair, so he promised to get us a bag of weed. A lid. Remember that slang?

That meant an OZ or ounce.

So Jeff and I went to my house in OP – had a couple guys with us – but they chickened out. They’d heard the stories – if you smoke weed you might jump out a window and kill yourself. So Jeff and I were the white mice – the testers.
The two of us went downstairs to my basement bedroom. A room with black lights and posters of Jimi Hendrix and Zeppelin – and maybe Easy Rider. We sat on a sofa and rolled a joint. This time we tried hard as hell to hold it in…listening to "Nights in White Satin."

And after several tokes we began to laugh out loud. We couldn’t stop laughing. What a great night we were gonna have, cruise to the Plaza, show off how high we were, get the babes to watch us. What a night we were gonna have, my brothers and sisters. Next thing I knew Jeff and I woke up. We were still on the sofa but it was the next morning. Sunday. We missed the God damn weekend.

The weed knocked us out.
There would be countless nights of smoking weed, later trying Acid, and other new ways  to get high.

Yep, we were the cool ones, we were first. It gave us bad boy reps, and that got us girls. So I guess it was worth it all. Sure we had some fun times back in high school.
Believe it or not I quit doing all drugs shortly after Stanford and Sons opened in the mid 70’s.

I was still more or less a kid, but wanted to be a success so no more getting high.

That lasted about two years.

The landscape had changed. When I started smoking weed, good weed had seeds, crap weed had no seeds – usually home grown Kansas stuff. It didn’t get you high. Now suddenly in the late 70’s, seedless pot was the thing. Grass from out west, homegrown pot from northern Los Angeles.

Christ, it was too strong.

I took a couple hits and thought I was on LSD. Thought I might have to go to the emergency room. Scary.
Today I rarely smoke. It does make you horny though but also sleepy and hungry, right?

Now it’s even legal in some places. And there’s K-2 or K-3 in some spots – it’s all over the place. You don’t see hash much anymore, that was primo smoke though.

In the end it was all pretty safe and look at Tommy Chong. He’s been doing it for 60 years and seems OK to me.

Oh well, happy holiday.
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11 Responses to Glazer: The Corncob Files, a 420 Day Remembrance

  1. One Toke says:

    Over The Line
    Craig saw Chong in Westport back in the 90’s. Loved the show, bought a big bong. It’s worth like a grand now cause he signed it. I got it for 150 bucks, its three feet tall. I’ll sell it to you. Want it?

  2. Honky Tonk Man says:

    My First Time
    Glazer I am younger, but my first time was at a Royals game. Talk about weird. I eat like seven hot dogs and one frosty malt. I threw up

  3. mermaid says:

    My first time…
    My first time was at Meadowbrook on the side where all the freaks hung out. Yea thats what we called them. It was planned for days. So one morning before school I went over and smoked a joint but really I was too nervous and just pretended so everyone would think I was cool. So silly. Then in high school I really tried it and I liked it. Quickly grew out of that phase because too much eating was involved! I have tried it since then here and there and it makes my heart race and makes me feel terrible not relaxed. I don’t know why but it has never been a pleasant experience like in the 80s. So Happy 420 to all who do partake and more power to you. Hope it’s a good time!

  4. smartman says:

    Space Truckin
    I went straight for the kill the first time I got high. Bought a “Space Bong”, It looked like a square lunar lander with a little labywrinth the smoke traveled through. Put a bottle of Wild Turkey in the freezer for a couple hours and used that instead of water. With the Space Bong you never got high. You went straight to FUCKED UP and then to 7-Eleven and then back home to listen to Deep Purple’s Machine Head in TRUE 4-Channel QUAD! It would blow your mind. Then you’d go back Jack, do it again and hit Texas Toms for the second round of munchies.

    If you’ve never bonged it with chilled booze in your device you gotta try it. If only all the flavored vodka’s were around back in the day.

    Did mushrooms for the first time when I went to see Star Wars. Holy Shit was that gloriously spectacular! We were tripping so hard with all the visual stuff going on being enhanced by the shrooms that the manager tossed us. Then we got high on smoke and went to Shakey’s Pizza. The good old days! Thank God for long term memory!

  5. baseball boy says:

    we all have stories
    Glazer we all have our own stories. I was at Walter Mitties, got high wow. first time

  6. baseball boy says:

    got high at Jimmy Hendrix
    wow Hendrix yes.

  7. dog says:

    yes Sir
    I started at Kiss concert.

  8. Guy Who Says What Others Think says:

    It was about 1984….
    Sophomore in high school and all my buddies were starting to get their driver’s license. Living in a rural Missouri in a town of 2400, weed wasn’t always easy to come by. The first bag we bought was “shake” and was some of the most harsh crap ever. Awful, awful harsh ditchweed. We did nothing but cough and get a headache. Finally latched on to some good sticky weed during that summer while working as a lifegaurd at the local swimming pool. Me and a good friend of mine drove out to the local lake and started smoking. Having virgin lungs, there was alot of coughing, but not like from that awful batch of shake. After about a half hour, it started to feel like I was floating, and then like my head was totally detached from my body. It felt GREAT! We had Dokken blasting away on his band new Pioneer cassette player, played thru his brand new Pioneer three way 6 x 9 speakers. We were good and stoned for hours on end when I finally had to head home for my midnight curfew. Slept like a baby, and felt perfect the next morning with NO HANGOVER. I was sold. I don’t smoke anymore, being in my 40’s and trying to raise kids, but damn..those were great times and I really think pot should be legal on some level greater than it is now.

  9. harley says:

    First time…
    hanging with buddies…one pullls out a joint..its in junior high…and smoke it…
    the resto f the people are sitting on couches…i’m waiting for it to take effect..
    then it hit me.
    From there we went t every concert on it….family was in the music concert
    biz…so got great seats to everyone..
    remember smoking before poco and loggins and messina at cowtown ballroom..
    waswnt old enough to drive….wow….great show.
    best high was at aerosmith….had some great clothes from the old jp’s in
    westport that my older cousin hnded down to me….wore that….got
    off at prairie village ppool then drove to show.
    Best in college….went to 7th heaven…gt a huge bong….owner sold it
    out of his car….then did it for an entire day til i passed out…
    some great times….
    at shawneemisssion park on sunday…go to the tower…hung out…
    wnet on paddle boats on the lake after smoking…wow…that was
    great story…..great memories….still love it.

  10. Chet Gristler says:

    had no idea there were so many loosers around here smoking
    weed and thinking your too cool for school. When I was at KU there were always tards like the people posting comments on here that thought smoking dope made them cool. No way, Jose – it just confirmed that you were a total looser that couldn’t get chicks without it. LOL! Ha, their is obviously a bunch of old farts on here. The comments on here are ridonkulous — how embarassing.

  11. craig glazer says:

    Chet the only old fart is you
    I hope you are joking. Since like 85% of adults have used weed at least once. So the most famous athletes, movie stars, music stars,TV stars, Political leaders are TARDS Chet? John Kennedy, Joe Montana,Tom Cruise, the list goes on forever…..only tards didn’t smoke. Ccouldn’t get chicks without it? YOu are a moron. Who mentioned chicks and a need to get them weed, thats coke Chet. By the way I like that there are some people who don’t smoke weed. It’s better to be totally straight, but lets not judge the other 85% as losers. The richest most successful men and women on the planet have smoked or still do with rare exception. One has nothing to do with the other…

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