Glazer: The Manly Art of Trash Talking Your Way to the Best Sex Imaginable

The inside scoop on how to keep several girls happy for a long time?

No, it’s not by giving them money – not for me anyway – although it’s better to have some around. It’s more about providing an escape, a fantasy if you will.

Sure, it always starts out with the hope, on both sides, that it will lead to a serious dating situation. But that doesn’t apply if both of you know in advance that it’s just a fun, sex thing. And after most relationships cool off, what we are left with is this: WE ALL NEED TO RELAX AND ESCAPE.

It’s as simple as that.

So if in the girl’s mind you meet those requirements and she meets yours – bam! – it can last for years.

Now I want to stress this, if one meets a special someone then of course you stop seeing the others. On both sides of the coin. Maybe it ends in living together or even a ring.

However, for me that’s not very likely.

I just think as we grow older we see how impossible long term relationships are.

Men and women are just too different to be around each other daily.

It’s like that best friend college roommate we all dreamed about, huh? First it’s so much fun but by month six you want to kill them. "Where’s my beer? YOU DRANK IT! WHAT! ALL THAT NOISE YOU ARE MAKING IS KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT. SHUT UP! TURN OFF THE TV, FOR GOD’S SAKE!"

Remember?

Now here’s my secret: Woman like sex fantasies.

Verbal, from YOU! This is the best ‘make them uh, CUM hitter. Oh they will tell you about different positions and from behind – like we didn’t already know. And on and on. But people, there are only so many positions.

However there are many stories to tell while having the good old in and out.

ALL GIRLS – well, almost all – love to hear them. Stories about them being with other men or maybe more than one guy at the same time. It’s not PC, sorry. That’s what they will say when not in the throes of passion.

"Who me? No!" 

That’s a LIE.

In my many adventures this works, uh, 99% of the time.

It sure turns up the heat when you say that to them in bed. I’ve never had a girl stop and go.."What in the hell did you say?" They usually start moaning, "Yes, yes – oh fuck, yes."

Boy, I hate giving this one out, but some of you boys surely already know this, right?
 
Lets get a little more un-PC…

All this helps when you look good yourself and are in decent to very good shape. Just like it does if they are.

OK, here’s a killer: there’s this secret wheel inside most men who think, I wouldn’t date a fattie openly but if nobody is looking and they have a couple good attributes like big boobs, or a nice big butt, I’d do her. If nobody saw or knew. It’s the kink.

Guess what?

Girls have the same fantasy. Sorry boys, they do. Now they may not act on it for real, but if you paint that picture in their head during the bamitie-bam – bingo! – home-run. I’m just telling it like it is, Jack. Again,

I’ve never had a girl say, "Oh my lord, stop saying those things."  Usually it’s, "Yeah. Oh yeah, baby. Fuck yeah!"

True story.

Another un-PC taboo women like to fantacize about is girl-on-girl. Girls love to fantacize about being with other women – whether you’re with them or not. When I’m actually doing this I use dirtier words. The language I use during these fantasies is far more graphic – use your imagination.
 

Look there are much nastier tales to be told; use your imagination.

But it’s the No. 1 way to get them off and keep them coming back for more.

I may go deeper with this next time. Deeper, hmmm. 

One more important tool from the old pro: vibrators.

Look, all girls use them. And all women want you to use one on them, right? Trust me, they do.

So when you buy one or two, hear me out on this and you can thank me later:  GET THE ONE THAT PLUGS INTO THE WALL. Do not waste your money on the battery thing. You know, the blue one, the red one, the one that looks like a pretty Pee Pee.

Hell no!

Get that loud, violent wall-plugged, almost back massage type. It kills!

Women love it. Oddly, they rarely buy one. So they want to use yours with, well, YOU.

Now lets review, verbal fantasy mixed with the wall plugged vibrator equals….uh, you both win.
 
When it ends and they go, trust me, nothing about what you just did is spoken about.

See, it’s not about the money, fortune or fame. That might get them in the ballpark, but the fantasy keeps them coming back. Now you just have to add more stories.

P.S.:  Oddly, doing the fantasies in real life, like group sex, threesomes, urban partners, and all the porno shots with others, are not recommended from this quarterback. That stuff causes major arguments later. Especially if you both really like each other.

Remember, you don’t have to be in love to care about one another.

I’m not saying NEVER do that weird stuff and thresomes for real, just keep that limited to once in a blue moon. We will continue this after Hearne posts more photos and gets me in more hot water. See, no names mentioned here. So girls, don’t assume this is about you, ok? Please.

Now about the Royals winning streak… nah.

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61 Responses to Glazer: The Manly Art of Trash Talking Your Way to the Best Sex Imaginable

  1. KU Forever says:

    Right On!
    Wish you used the dirty words Glazer. I’m afraid you’re right. Course KU gals are classy and say No. It’s those MU sluts that love this talk.

  2. downtown davey says:

    You Made My Day
    We’ve been waiting and waiting. The office girls hate your guts Craig. I asked my girl, asst. does your man say these things to you in bed. She smiled. She told me you were a ‘pig.’

  3. Toco Time says:

    What No Latin Babe!
    Wheres the Brown my man? The battery junk is no good, the battery dies in twenty minutes and then you got nothing. Come down to SW Blvd. and meet these sweet things on Friday night my friend. Party time.

  4. Chicago Tony says:

    Who is that Junkie Bitch?
    That brown haired big breasted girl looks like she’s on something.

  5. Tammy Cooke says:

    Glazer: The Manly Art of Trash Talking Your Way to the Best
    Dirty talk, vibrators and kinky sex are amazing! Thank you for reminding the men that they need to step things up in the bedroom! Women: don’t be down on something you’re not up on! It doesn’t have to be a 1-night stand. If you’ve been married for years your sex life is probably in great need of a face-lift. Signed, a happily married wife & mother.

  6. Kellys man says:

    Tonights The Night Nigro
    Glazer be in Westport to see your friend kiss my ass to get me off his. Yes indeed. Like the sex story, I don’t have a new girlfriend to try this on, but I will soon. I still hate your guts.

  7. Black Barbie says:

    You A Man Craig
    Now baby thats what we like. You tellin the mack bootie truth. I showed you the squirt on that vibrator about two years go. Remember. I even sent you a home video of me doin it. Bet you miss that mean white boy. Come see me and I might forgive you.

  8. maureen says:

    You Are Brave Tammy
    Tammy nice job of being honest. You are not alone. Most men, DON’T know what the hell they are doing. These guys feel its all about their muscles and dick size. Pounding the jj doesn’t cut it forever. We all need the dreamlover. I guess men like Craig can shock us in a good way. I have to agree drawing a picture in ones mind is the best escape. A strong hand and vibrator don’t hurt either. Of course I’m so hot men shoot a bit quick. Is this site getting too dirty Hearne? Sweet dreams ladies.

  9. Bad Ass Jew, Berkowitz says:

    Too Far
    Maureen I think your comments go too far for this site. OK not really. Where is your photo group? Love to see it.

  10. Packers Nation says:

    NFL Please
    Glazer I know you love yourself, by the way those are cheerleaders right? We need NFL news, not how to use a dildo. Tammy glad I didn’t marry you. Dirty, dirty.

  11. Hearne Christopher says:

    Is it getting too dirty? Good question. But don’t forget all the entertainment, movies, dining, media, humor, sports and pop culture news.

  12. Hearne Christopher says:

    Easy, Bad Ass.

    Remember, she just got thru thanking Craig for not running her photo a couple days ago

  13. Hearne Christopher says:

    Hey Pack Man,

    You sure you aren’t married to her? It’s not like she’s using her real name, dude

  14. Cool Tool says:

    Hearne Is This Playboy
    Glazer is now the playboy advisor Hearne. Hey I don’t need some Hollywood Hood, no offense, to tell me how to screw alright.

  15. Joe Cornia says:

    Hollywood Hood, You Mean KC
    Cool Tool, he’s our guy first, not Hollywoods. I’m too old for all that talk Glazer. Sounds fun though.

  16. Hearne Christopher says:

    Got it

  17. Radio Man says:

    Johnny Dare Loves This One
    Glazer looking forward to hearing what Dare has to say on this shit. You light up my life Glazer. You nut!

  18. Man Hater says:

    Glazer Enjoy Our Hatred Sir
    I don’t disagree with this story mr. glazer. You are already the most hated man at my workplace. You are. Does this get you laid? Are you in need of even younger woman. What is your problem? I’m sorry malfunction. Is everything pussy to you?

  19. Doormat says:

    Guess Being A Somebody Does Get You Ass
    I give up. You proved it, money,fame and ass. All goes hand in hand. Hey I am not a hater Glazer, just saying. I’m half your age and damn, where do you meet all these girls? At Stanfords? Fuck.

  20. Shamara says:

    Leader of The Pack
    The dog pack

  21. smartman says:

    But Can You Make Em Squirt
    C’mon Craig all this shit is stuff that Playboy, Penthouse, Maxim and others like my old favorite Talk Sex with Sue Johansen have been regurgitating in articles for decades. I’m not seeing any Proprietary Intellectual Property or techniques here.

    What they all really want is a finger, or two, up the butt when you’re munchatatin’ on the va-jay-jay. Or pinch their nipples while you’re lickin’ the alphabet as Sam Kinison used to suggest.

    Forget the dildos and get some damn Mandelay. Never send a piece of petrochemical byproduct to do a mans job. Cause once the dildos, ben-wa-balls, rabbits and fuckuok’s and buttplugs come out they wanna shove ’em up your ass and you remember what Tony Soprano said about that. Dildos are for afternoon drive on talk radio and for when you’re out of town.

    I’m not seein’ any chicks in these pics that I’d nail. As WG Parker says, “I am not impressed.”. If you’re into hoggin’ I guess that’s OK.

    And in closing, the Singapore Sling remains the one device that every couple needs in order to keep it freaky so it doesn’t break down to lights out missionary one a month and on your birthday. Cause if you’re not bangin’ your gal 3 times a week or more somebody else is.

  22. bschloz says:

    Wilt Chamberlain
    PFFFFFTTT

    Take that Nashville Pitch….let the big dog eat!
    What did Calvin Coolidge use say “Talk dirty to me honey” ok go empty the fucking trash.

  23. Shiloh says:

    I Am So Upset Craig
    Craig Glazer for all thats right. This photo or photos were taken a couple years back, at least one or two. I am the blond and my name is not the one posted.OMG, my brother reads this awful site and just texted me about it. I don’t want people or readers to think I am a whore. I met you at the Overland Park Club once and this was after that. I was lets say very young and dumb. Drunk, Hello!!!(**) So I did do it with you, but OMG there were no electric dildos or any of that kind of thing. Of course I don’t know what you said to me during, but we had like two more dates, til my older sister told me you were like more than twice my age and gave me shit, remember. Don’t let people think I am loose when I am not. I want the pictures down. The other girl and I are not friends anymore. I live with a guy and he will be major pissed. Thank you.

  24. Honky Tonk Man says:

    Q Fan
    Listen to you on 104 and 98.9. Good shit my Jew friend. Just joking. Keep up the sex stories. Hey can you get Johnny to post photos of his past exploits, should be some fine looking phillies there son.

  25. Cousin David says:

    Less is More
    Something you need to learn

  26. Jack Bat says:

    Yes Sir
    Its all happening at the zoo. I can’t stand you or Hearne.

  27. Rob Lane says:

    Frank Caliendo
    Not a sex story but in SF last week, Frank Caliendo gave you a little love. Did your impression on our sports radio show. Said he was leaving Vegas, had plenty of other stuff to do. Guess he is not happy there,not sure. You need a doctor Craig.. see you in September reunion. Hey a song, see you in september, no.

  28. Man Hater says:

    I have an idea for you Craig
    Hey go all through KC and get pictures with girls you don’t know, post them and write more shit on sex. See how they like that, huh. I hope some girl writes a website about you.

  29. cowboy says:

    Manhater
    What makes you think he didn’t do them hateful bitch.

  30. chuck says:

    The blonde on the front is feelin up the brunette.
    Funny stuff.

    Jesus, if I porked that many chicks, I would have Herpes sores the size of sand traps on my cock.

    Glaze is Kansas City’s Falstaff.

    Long may he run.

  31. harley says:

    OKAY GLAZE…HERE’S MY TAKE..
    #1 TAKE THESE PHOTOS OFF…id seen better dogs at the humane society.
    Not hot at all and not up to the standards of hearnes site.
    #2: All these photos are old. The girl said she met you years ago. So why not some
    recent photos. all the girls said they didn’t have sex with you. Are they lying.
    #3: nice article but old news. Like smartman says….the quality is going down drastically
    of the women you’re porking so best leave the photos in the drawr.
    #4″ Short haired girl on top of post….she’s done everyone in town…won’t say
    her name but she’s as black oak arkansas said “hot and nasty”.
    #5: I don’t need a dildo or vibrator to get my girl excited. I use what god gave me.
    I don’t need some plug in device to please my woman. Obvioulsy you do.
    We have great sex….using masage…showers….lotion….nights out….hotel rooms…
    after all this time she doesn’t need some hard piece of plastic to get off…
    it appears that maybe you should go get the books on better sex because
    for some reason you’re lacking in this department.
    Still love the story…its a classic….maureen needs to get more…maybe try
    match.com or follwo the fitness model or mermaid around and get their
    castoffs.
    Still good to see you’re on the right track…this story not as hot as previous ones…
    but we know hearnes trying to light up the boards with your stories.
    Keep coming…but this one i would rate a C while the other first ones were
    rated A plus.
    take care….good luck slumming for the pussy…..maybe i should write my own
    blog on this subject and tell all the losers on here how to really get a woman
    ready for the ultimate sex. In my house…we don’t use plastic…its 100% real.

  32. harley says:

    I WAS A SWINGER
    went to the spirit of 76 club parties….club eden….huge swingers group
    in lawrence of doctors and nurses….but they got old.
    Once you find one great lover you won’t consider those…and you
    don’t have to eat to bad buffet before the sex starts.
    Anyway if any of my readers/fans/discpiles want more information
    just request some of my “true” storeis and i’ll deliver with the true facts.

  33. Marky Mark says:

    Harley Your back, Great
    I’m with you Harley, glad you got back on the ‘hating Glazer wagon’ its so much more fun when you despise him like me. Couple of the girls look like good fun, but not Penthouse material. Hey who needs all that stuff to have a good sexual evening. Just give her the high hard one. Works every time.

  34. chuck says:

    Oh yeah, I wanna hear ’em…
    There is a buffet before the orgy????

    Are you fuckin shittin me???

    “Hey sweetheart, look over there, fuckin Jeff and his ole lady are loadin up on refried beans again outta the Mexican section. I wanna go home.”

    Polyester suits and the Colors of Benneton with a buffet!!

    Goddamn that makes me hard!!

    My dick is so big it has an elevator and a waiting room just reading this shit. Fuck the big bastard is growing gills!!! Get some castors for this fucker, I’m goin to a buffet and fuckin something!!!

    We are totally ready for Harley’s sex orgy stories. Living in sin, at the Ramada Inn!!

  35. chuck says:

    Call it “Harley After Dark”
    Harley, in a smoking jacket, with a pipe, and some Courvoisier…

    Gonna need pics Harley, fuck yeah….

  36. Super Man says:

    Swingers, Lets Hear More
    Harley hows that all work, are they nice looking? Where do you go? How is it advertised or set up? Fill me in please. Was it worth it?

  37. chuck says:

    Or, it could be called “Harley After The Dark”
    You and Black Barbie would fuckin RULE!!!

  38. Maple says:

    Swinging is a Blast for Us Older Gals
    Harley tell them about how hot us older woman are. Ones I go to are mostly middle aged people, a few youngens not many. Us oldies are the cutties. 45-60 years old.

  39. chuck says:

    Could somebody please open a fuckin window!!
    .

  40. Tiger Tail says:

    Glazer Did you Ever Swing?
    I think you wrote about something on those lines last year. Right?

  41. chuck says:

    Harley, if your goin to a buffet before an orgy–
    Did ya have Blue Waffles?

    (Look up Blue Waffle Disease, wow…I am re-thinking the priesthood.)

    I do wanna hear some Harley orgy stories–gotta be hilarious.

  42. Thelogabides says:

    Here’s a tip from quagmire
    Ask her how her relationship with her father is, if she says anything positive move on.

  43. harley says:

    THE SWINGER PARTIES
    okay…heres how it worked.
    Back in the 90’s and into the early 2000’s there were several swinger groups.
    The big and funnest one was out of lawrence. In a quiet suburban neighborhood
    medical professionals would meet once a month at a specified house.
    Eventually the neighbors in this quiet area realized it was a swingers group
    and called the police because there would be at least 100 cars parked in the
    subdivision.
    It was very easy. You paid $25 to enter. Couples only. You’d walk into this
    4 bedroom house which had a pool and hot tub. It was very easy going
    and if someone said “no” to your pass you left them alone. It was very
    discreet. Throughout the house were large bowls filled with condoms.
    The couples were very high class…very intelligent and included doctors/
    nurses/x ray techs and lots of people from local and regional hospitals
    and others who heard about it thru word of mouth.
    The first time I went there i talked a friend who worked at a well known
    bar to come with me. I explained how we would handle the situation.
    she was cool with everything and we drove to the home…walked in…
    paid our entrance money then walked thru the house. The 4 bedrooms
    were filled with couples. It was very non chalant and everyone understood
    the rules about the event. I took my date into the living room and we sat
    down to watch the porn on the tv. All of a suddent walked in a naked
    couple who started to have sex right in front of the tv we vwere watching.
    Being the joker I am…I aked them to move so we could continue to
    watch the videos and they kindly obliged.
    We went into the rooms again…and watched what was going on.
    It was incredible that this home was filled with medical people getting
    it on. The house wsas so packed that there wasn’t any room excpet outside
    to stand. So we went outside to the pool area where there were
    about 20 couples involved in an orgy.
    The crowd continued to grow and evnetually there wasn’t even room
    to stand or sit anywhere escept outside.
    MY ‘date” wasn’t into doing it outside so after 2 hours we left and went
    back to my house which was located in Mission Hills.
    The girl I went with is now a huge national reporter whose name you
    would recognize but who i will not release.
    Back in the early 80’s I was a part of the “spirit of 76” clubs. they were
    usually held up by KCI because people would travel from nebraska
    and iowa for this event. As I mentioned it started off with a buffet
    dinner in the hotels main ballroom. This particular month it was held at
    the old sheraton hotel located up north by the airport.
    People would eat dinner/dance and drink from about 8-11pm then
    proceed up to the 3 floors of rooms that had been resevered for the
    group. I remember the first time i went with my roomate at the time
    and we could not get into the buffet. so I decided to go and rent a
    hotel room…go to some local bars up north and we would go back
    to the hotel later that night since we were not with other women.
    My other roomate, a former Overland Park police officer had told us
    about this event because the girl who did his hair went every month.
    so we went and drank heavily at some bar about 10 minutes from there
    then headed back to the hotel. We got on the elevator and headed
    to our room when a younge attractive blonde came up and propositioned
    me. We went into a room where there were probably 10 other couples
    having sex in the room. We got into one of the bed and she performed
    great oral sex on me while the guy next to me who was also getting
    ridden talked about how we both ended up there.
    Couples would rotate on the bed…on the vanity…in the bath tub
    and anywhere there was space.
    A large guy came over and looked down at me adn asked where
    my date was. I had no date so I said “room 345″…and he left.
    He came back several minutes later and asked where my date
    was and I repeated the room number and he left.
    he cam back again and I told him that my date may hae left
    but try again….but he was getting visibly upset.
    I asked the girl on top of me if she knew the guy and she
    replied “yes…thats my husband”.
    The partys eventually moved downtyown to the holiday inn u ntil
    a senior vice president of the company happened to be staying there
    the wekend of the party and threatened to close the hotel when he
    found out what was going on.
    It again moved to the Ramada Inn off 435 and 71 highway. I went to
    one party there with a girl and evnetually that would close down.
    I think they moved to the hotel by royals stadium until the crowds got
    so huge that they had to turn away the event.
    Been to club eden…been to the swingers club down in the bottoms
    buy kemper owned by the owner of the hurricane…been to desire
    in cancun…and to the first hedonism in jamaica.
    I did a lot of wild things in my years…but found out that these were
    great to talk about but one really great female partner was
    better. What always amazed me was the quality people who attended
    these events. They were professional people…lawyers/drs/business owners..
    i even was able to get a great client from one of these partys.
    but as i aged i realized that while they were fun at first…they became
    unusual in that many of the people who came to them didn’t “participate”
    but were there to watch the activityies.
    The place in the bottoms was unique…i can’t remember hte guys name
    who owned it…but it was fun util a tv report got it shut down.
    I have several other stories but no i was no glazer…did it for the
    novelty of the parties…but that wore off when I found a really
    good one to psend time with.

  44. Honky Tonk Man says:

    Find True Love Gentlemen
    Harley, Glazer and Hearne, you are all lost souls on lifes highway to haven, get with God and settle down. You don’t need thrills to be happy.

  45. bschloz says:

    Room #345
    Livin in sin at the Ramada Inn. LOL—thank God CSI never had to go up there..that would be a mean trick to play on the TRACE MACHINE
    Wonder if after the party did the swingers descend upon Denny’s about 2am—right along with the square dancers.
    Having a big omelette breakfast and going over the evening…”Hun what did ya think…Oh I thought it was wonderful..so impressed that I was having sex with real Dr’s I think it was 3 or 4 tonight….Wow Dr’s for real or Dr’s like Dentist’s or were they Dr’s like PHD’s…no honey they were all DR’s and I banged em all tonight…can I have the rest of your bacon. And how did it go for you dear?… did you remember to steal the soap and shampoo out of the room?…please pass the salt.

  46. smartman says:

    Homage To Chuck
    St. Peter: And who have we here?

    CG: I’m Craig Glazer, the King of Sting

    SP: Oh yes, heart attack while masturbating

    CG: That’s me

    SP: I’m assuming you’re looking for the Virgin Mary?

    CG Not really actually I kinda converted to Islam a couple days ago what’s the deal on the 72 virgins

    SP: Not my department but I think you have to be a martyr to qualify

    CG What’s a martyr?

    SP. It means taking one for the team

    CG Oh I’m good then, last week there was this fat chick all over Hearne at the club. She wanted him bad. Anyway I blindfolded her and took her in the bathroom and nailed her in the stall while Hearne watched and talked dirty. I blew a load and then Hearne stepped in and pretended he did her.

    SP. I know, we see it all up hear

    CG So does that count

    SP Don’t know you’ll need to go down the hall to see Allah

    CG OK, Hey what about that Maria chick

    SP: Not here yet but we do have a Tracy Thomas.

    CG: I’ll pass, which way to Allah?

    SP: 1 light year to your right

    CG: Cool Oh tell Stan I said Hi.

    SP: He’s not here

    CG: Good, cause he was a prick.

    SP: Amen to that

    White light and smoke as Craig exits:

    Allah to Muhammad Ali: Here comes that infidel Jew fuck Glazer

    MA: That white cracker has some balls don’t he? Tryin’ to run the 72 Virgin scam down the cloud.

    Allah: It’s not so much the balls I’m interested in, it’s the hair.

    MA. I hear ya. Kinda like my Jew buddy Cosell

    Allah: Muhammad, do me a favor and float like a butterfly back to the temple and summon Black Barbie

    MA Certainly Allah. You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’

    Allah: Yes my son. Let’s see if she still has some “pull” with Craig

  47. chuck says:

    Welcome aboard Smartman! Funny stuff!! 🙂
    POPE”S QUARTERS, IN THE VATICAN.

    CARDINAL BERTONE: *hands phone to the pope* “Its that Rabbi in Johnson County Kansas you wanted me to find, he says he is honored to speak with you.”

    POPE BENEDICT: “Rabbi Levin, it is so nice of you to return my call.”

    RABBI LEVIN: “Not at all your eminence, but I must admit, I am flummoxed as to the purpose of this call.”

    POPE BENEDICT: “Its about Craig Glazer”

    RABBI LEVIN: “Ruh roh.”

    POPE BENEDICT: “Well, it is as I had imagined, only maybe worse.”

    RABBI LEVIN: *puts hand over phone* “Honey, stop fixing breakfast, I’m gonna be a while.”

    MRS. LEVIN: “Its your favorite honey, bacon and eggs.”

    RABBI LEVIN: “Jesus Christ!! Shut up with the bacon shit, I got the Pope on the phone!! *removes hand from phone* Go ahead your Eminence.”

    POPE BENEDICT: “Did you just take the lord’s name in vain?!?!”

    RABBI LEVIN: “Your Holiness, if you will recall, we kinda hit a fork in the road on that issue 1700 years ago.”

    POPE BENEDICT: “Your right, lets prioritize and hit the Mortal Sins first. Word has reached Rome, by way of the internet, that an old bald Jewish man in the midwest is burning through Catholic maidenheads like Grant through Richmond.”

    RABBI LEVIN: “I am sure this is an exageration. Did you say Grant through Richmond….? Forget that, uh…besides, as the Vicar of Christ, this Glazer guy, must be pretty low on your list of problems.”

    POPE BENEDICT: *getting a little testy* “Can we be frank here goddamnit!!”

    RABBI LEVIN: *getting a little testy “Like I am gonna fuck with a German Pope?? Go ahead, shoot from the hip, oh great Apostle of Peace!”

    POPE BENEDICT: “You must mean the Apostle of Pussy, Craig Glazer, who last weekend, in Marthasville Missouri, where my sister runs the Deustch Country Days Festival, deflowered her twin 18 year old girls outside a pig pen in a pouring rain. The fucker is relentless!! At a goddamn German festival, have you people no shame!!! Thats not all, the new acolytes here at the Vatican are passing around pictures of someone called Mermaid and for christsakkes BLACK BARBIE and whackin off!!”

    RABBI LEVIN: “Thats actually the best news the Catholic church has had in a while, Graig Glazer brings the priests back into the fold!”

    POPE BENEDICT: “You tell that fuckin Glazer I am gonna show up personally and perform an exorcism on his ass if he gets near my sister’s kids again!”

    RABBI LEVIN: “I think that would be a mistake”

    POPE BENEDICT: “Listen asshole, I don’t make mistakes, I’m infallible”

    RABBI LEVIN: “I think you’re meshugenah”

    POPE BENEDICT: “Yeah, well you tell Glazer the next time he gets any meshugenah on his finger, I am showing up to administer last rites.”

    RABBI LEVIN: “Why didn’t your sister just tell him to goyim on home? Heh heh…”

    POPE BENEDICT: “I’m warning you”

    RABBI LEVIN: “You know what happened when you went to Mt. Olive?”

    POPE BENEDICT: “Uh, what?”

    RABBI LEVIN: “Popeye kicked your ass.”

    POPE BENEDICT: *click*

  48. stupidiot says:

    Vicarious
    Uh, Chucky…. Did the rohs stop working forever on that lovely young gal of the cho-cho who woke up one morning and shrieked “I married WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?”

    I know a firstborn who could never understand that the man who turns a really beautiful woman on has perceptive eyes and warm, generous hands, and understands the loves and fears and tears of such a God-created creature. He’s a man who can listen. He’s the antithesis of CG and SG, who just try, and fail, to plug a hole, which they really can’t find without the key, which they always miss. A man of integrity; you know the Yiddish term and you know who isn’t in the running.

    Will you RIP? There are safer bets; I’m not in.

    Your lost boy is the Tin Man,………… If he experienced an epiphany in the more aged one it may help, but alas, an epiphany before the approaching end looks more unlikely with each passing breath.

  49. POOH MAN says:

    Chuck/Smartman/Genius
    Talk about putting your back into it boys!

  50. mermaid says:

    No pics of me
    Chuck (who names their kid that) I can assure you no pictures of me are being passed around because there are none.

  51. chuck says:

    Yeah, chuck is a really stupid name, ‘Mermaid’.
    In line with the fluvial theme you have chosen, I think perhaps Barracuda would be more appropriate for you.

    Once again, my parent’s apologies for not thinking more piscatorialy at my birth, the way yours did.

    Glub, glub…

  52. Man Hole says:

    Mermaid PLease A Photo
    Mermaid I want to see your body so bad. Have Hearne put one up of you.

  53. smartman says:

    mermaid pics, more maid
    Mermaid, a buddy of mine is a photoshop wiz. He’s already lifted photos off of Facebook and this site and has created an INCREDIBLE one of you Craig and Black Barbie in a 3-Way. In another one Tony Botello is pounding you like a tenderloin at the Flea Market If you don’t lay off of Sir Charles you’re going to have a horse-cock up your money maker and I will personally staple that pic to every phone poll in midtown.

  54. chuck says:

    Thanks for covering my 6 Sman.
    I don’t know why shes so pissed off because men think she is hot.

    I’m guessing she is modestly qualified for something after the looks fade.

    I guess…

  55. HARLEY says:

    guys…this stuff isn’t funny.
    she’s not a willing participant in this site. She’s put nothing on here to
    insult anyone to the extent of what is on here.
    Lighten up guys.
    If you need a ppunching bag stay away from the women with your
    terible comments
    she may have bad taste in men (she was after me one night but i shut
    her down.) but thats no reason to be so hard on her on this site.
    In other words, you’re steppig out of bounds with your comments…stop
    it…or i will do the same.

  56. Tracy says:

    13th century poet challenges Harley and the Mean Boys
    Beyond the idea of right or wrong, there is a field and I will meet you there. ~Rumi

  57. craig glazer says:

    Over The Top Mean, Not Cool
    Guys, I know Debbie and she quite a nice lady. She is not wild or loose. Please for all that is fair don’t write these vile over the top dirty things. It’s not fair or manly. It’s a cowards way out. Trading jabs is one thing but being just down right mean and ugly is not wanted here. Hearne and I will tty and block YOU from any further comment if you do that again. OK. Play fair with others. Again we let much of the hits on me and Hearne and others go, but this kind of comment is appreciated by nobody. Thank you.

  58. harley says:

    mermaid…black barbie…fitness model…all glazers girls
    i apologize for the comments by my fellow posters which were over the
    top.
    If any of you have been hurt by these comments please call m at
    913 867 5309 and we can discuss your problems.
    And if any of you are free next saturday night i need some hotties
    for a bachelor party ( no strippers..just some hotties to look at). Email me
    thru kcc. We are having some of the areas most eligible bachelors there
    and we need some women to hang with us. All food and booze will be
    provided…..thanks and good luck.
    mermaid…have you figured out who i am…..more clues later.

  59. chuck says:

    Home from work—
    Just re read all Glaze’s posts.

    But the line in the sand, came here, today, on this particular post.

    Ok.

    Mermaid (Debbie?) can fire away with a smartass comment (chuck, “who names their kid that”.), and I can’t come back with the Barracuda comment?

    How bout a little Roberts, or Herne’s rules of order?

    A few jokes, a few smiles, a few laughs, oops!!! CLEAN UP ON AISLE MERMAID, THE LINE WAS CROSSED.

    Shheeeeesh. Maybe a little clarification, who you can joke with, who is too grumpy to joke with, you know, a list of sins that will require Herne’s Plenary Indulgences if committed.

    Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa.

    Ok, I’m goin to time-out dad.

  60. chuck says:

    I think I counted over a dozen posts from girls who were
    PISSED!!!

    Threatening litigation for godsakes, but whoa!!!!

    Barracuda, that did it!!!

    Think maybe we might be breaking the wrong butterfly on the wheel here, or maybe “Straw Manning” your way back into the good graces of said few by sacrificing some of the plebes under the bus???

    Just a theory…

  61. craig glazer says:

    I think we all know what the words were
    when someone posts as in this case Mermaid with a story about being at a hospital with …….up her…..and we know she didn’t make that comment….and another one about in her money…..spot, something stuck up there….these are what we mean. Not about who named their kid something….I think we all get it….what over the top meant…jabs are fine. these were a bit more and just too mean and nasty and meant to cut deeply, again too much. Enough on the subject.

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