So you want to have a ton of girlfriends, eh?
Most men do. That’s why they want to be some sort of star or wealthy or both. Oh, we want the dough alright, but mostly because it gives us a longer shot at being in demand with the ladies. Looks certainly help but women love a guy who’s an ‘it’ man – be it local or national.
Now let’s take a gander inside the life of a guy who for years has had a stable or bullpen of girlfriends.
But before the haters unleash themselves, let me say this; when I was in committed relationships I was loyal. For real. However during most of my adult life I have not been in long term relationships. Yes, I was married to a great lady named Connie for five years. I was already in my late 40s and she was in her low 20s – a tough long term jump. We ended our marriage because we both knew it wasn’t working. So before the cheating hit, it was better to move on and remain friends, and we did that.
Now back to the present…
When you have sex with several different women at the same time – and keep rotating them in and out – you’re always on the lookout for that next special gal. You find her – or so you think – and somehow she usually just ends up a member of the group, or says no and moves on. Or you do.
It’s not about cheating or lying to these women. Usually a "lead," public girlfriend that you take out and are seen with. But they all know there are other girls, it’s just unspoken. Most of the relationships are based on sex – there are very few dates per se. And I rarely go to
The measure of success in this world is simple; how many, how long and are they hot? Right? Right!
Now here’s what makes it a JOB.
Some people don’t want kids because it’s too much responsibility. You have to live vicariously through the children at some point. And a good parent dedicates themself to the child or children their entire life. That’s fine, if that’s who you are or can be….
With multiple girlfriends, in effect, you’re kinda doing the same thing. But it’s not that simple. On one hand you’re not stuck with that one special someone to lord over. On the other, you’ve got all these different people who drive you crazy.
Yes, you get to have sex with them (and I do). Yes, they are trained to come over, screw and leave (for the most part). But none of that eliminates their feelings that you are somehow responsible for them.
So I get the calls. "Craig, man guess what, my mom got in a wreck – I don’t know what to do. The car is in the shop, she’s in the hospital and boy, you won’t believe what happened (now the one hour story). "
Next comes the call from Girl No. 2.
"Hi, I pulled up to the store minding my own business and you won’t believe it – yes I will – a guy came outta nowhere, hit my car, major damage and then he took off, can you…."
Then Girl No. 3.
"I’ve called you all week, you never answer, are you avoiding me? I’ll call work and you left me a voice mail that you were at work, but then they said you weren’t."
Now Girl No. 4:
"My boyfriend got fired from his job and we are so broke. Any chance you could give me a part time job or …"
Girl No. 5.
"You always want me to come over and hang with you late at night – I have a kid and she needs to be looked after – don’t you know how hard that is?"
The great thing is when they all call in on the same day with their problems.
And those problems never end. EVER. Young or in their 30’s or 40’s it’s problem city every day. One after another, after another. And they look at you like a deer in the headlights and want you to solve their problems. But what can I do? Hit a button and say, "Your mom’s not an alcoholic."
So why not just settle for one girl?
Because it always dies out, doesn’t it? Relationships are tough and don’t last. Some of you will say, "Well, if you find the right girl" I have before and it still didn’t go the distance.
By the way, the girls I was serious about have never been strippers or worse, ever.
Yes, I’ve dated female lawyers, nurses, women with their own businesses who didn’t need my financial aid. They still drove me nuts.
Back to the girl go round…
For starters, you have to juggle your schedule to kinda please the crew. And brother as you pass age 30, fucking every night becomes a job. It does. Now try 40 and then 50. Christ! It’s work, work, work most nights. And sometimes I’d rather just watch a great sports game and have my dog Jr. sit on my lap.
Really, it’s a lot less hassle.
But the calls always come. You feel guilty. Don’t want to lose a player, so you cave in and let one of them come over. Now it becomes a game of what to do when they won’t leave. Christ!
Bullpen girls rarely spend the night – sometimes – but not often. Maybe in the early days when they’re "girlfriends" they do, but not for very long. The best ones are those who have boyfriends so they don’t drive you quite as crazy. Don’t get me wrong, they still bug you.
The measure of being good at this – for a real playboy, player, womanizer or whatever you want to call it – is keeping the ladies coming back for well, years.
I have some today that I dated and/or messed with when they were in their late teens, early 20s. Today I see them and those girls are l5-20 years older. Sure they leave you, even get married, but for some reason they find their way back.
Who knows why. Maybe the memory of their youth. Not sure.
Lets do Part 2 of this in the near future. I just got a call from one of the girls in the bullpen and her car broke down and she needs a ride…..Christ…..the option is getting married and living a life of quiet desperation. Sad but true, 95% of the time.
Wish it were different. Maybe it’s me.