Today: Wanted, Dead or Alive; Proof as to The Whereabouts of Jerry Mazer

In the spirit of O.J.’s search for the real killer, I bring you the search for an actual dead body…

We’re talking about notorious Plaza panhandler Jerry Mazer, of course. He of the, "Can I get a down payment on a cheeseburger?" fame. The dude who in 1994 knocked the Plaza and City of Kansas City on their butts and got an ordinance banning bumming on the Plaza overturned. Not only that, the city had to cough up some cash for Mazer’s trouble to settle the case.

Mazer’s travels to San Fran and beyond and his subsequent run-ins with the Gestapo-like Plaza Patrol went on for years as he continued his pursuit of the American Dream along Kansas City’s Appian Way outside Barnes & Noble.

Until, several sources say, sometime late last summer or early fall.

That’s when Mazer, 56, allegedly tipped his toes toward the sky and said goodbye.

But absent confirmation of his death, who’s to say he’s not lying on a bed of pain somewhere – he was diagnosed with cancer three years back – or off gallivanting about the French Riviera or skiing the Alps?

"I don’t know," says Barnes & Noble staffer Tom. "But I know he had HBO, I heard him say that to someone else. I haven’t seen him for months."

Ditto, adds B&N staffer Ann.

"We heard he died in November and before that it had been since July since we’d seen him. You know, we all had sort of mixed reactions. He could be a pain in our neck – but no one wanted to see him die – he was a fixture. One of our staff thought he should put a cheeseburger outside on the curb as a tribute."

"He had a lot of regular contributors from Lockton and Polsinelli," B&N’s Becky adds.

So Mazer is missed?

"I don’t know, I go back and forth because I’m a journalism major and I’m for free speech," Becky says. "But we would have customers come in and complain."

"He would get mad or make up nicknames for people he didn’t like," says Tom. "Like he called me Kojak."

Which brings us to the search for confirmation of Mazer’s whereabouts.

After combing the Plaza and Westport and talking to dozens of people with no tangible detail of Mazer’s demise, I went to Kansas City’s department of vital records. There, had he died in KCMO, for $13 unlucky dollars I could get a certificate of his death.

"It’s not coming up at all," said the clerk. "But (even) with homeless people, their death certificates are most definitely filed if they died here in Kansas City, Missouri."

So is Mazer alive? Did he come to an untimely end at the hands of a pissed off passerby? Is he lying in an untrimmed lot of weeds, behind a grassy knoll, along a riverbank? Perhaps in his former "girl friend’s" basement, forgotten, the HBO blazing away on a black and white portable television.

I’ll investigate next week with Johnson and Wyandotte county authorities.

In the meantime, please forward any information you may have to
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28 Responses to Today: Wanted, Dead or Alive; Proof as to The Whereabouts of Jerry Mazer

  1. Hearne Christopher says:

    Let’s not leave out the smart ass with the fake name. What, you want the last names so you can get ’em in trouble with corproate? Or stalk ’em maybe?

  2. chuck says:

    Finish your story on the Pitch.

  3. Super Dave says:

    Come On Hearne?
    You didn’t just post a picture that has your driver license and social security number on it did you?

  4. mermaid says:

    I know KU game is on but…
    Better redo that pic Hearne!!!!

  5. Merle Tagladucci says:

    Wanted, Dead or Alive: Proof that anyone besides Hearne gives a shit about this guy.

  6. BarKeeper says:

    She’s Bound to Know (Just Ask Claire)
    In her younger days, Claire wasn’t very picky about her menfolk, so perhaps she’s kept tabs on Jerry and can enlighten us.

  7. Brian says:

    Who really gives a fuck…….
    About the whereabouts of a homeless guy who happened to be an asshole? Really? Can we get a vote? WHO GIVES A FUCK???!!??!!

  8. rocko says:

    saw this character at Chiefs games, back in the day
    someone said he had season tix!

  9. Question says:

    So you reported on someone’s death and now you’re reporting that you’re not sure he’s dead? This is crazy, even if he’s “just” a homeless guy. Get your shit together, Hearne. In the future when you get more than a few thousand people a month reading this blog fuck-ups like this will be a bigger deal.

  10. BarKeeper says:

    A Clue for You
    Casenet shows him as Gerald Mazer. Maybe that’s why nobody’s finding a death cert or other stuff. And the word on the street was that he was never “homeless”. Not a Mission Hills or Leawood resident, but never homeless.

  11. chuck says:

    Content is part of the solution.
    Post more often!

    Seriously, work harder and post more often.


    Get some ad revenues, garner some cahs–gimme a fuckin break!!

    Do you, or do you not, believe in this blog?

    Do some cold calls pussy.

  12. chuck says:

    Right now—
    Quit making excuses.

    Your Herne C.!!

    Let the past go.

    Fortunate son, you, Herne, eat the world!!

    Accidentally, you are, to this point.

    Sell! Come on, Sell!!

    Lets make some money and make your customers wich they had spent MORE FUCKIN MONEY!!

    Get off of your fuckin comfortable ass, and go out and COLD CALL!!!!!!


    Do you , or do you not wanna be a guy, who makes policy? Or a guy who glides, and remembers the good ole days?

    This blog brings to the public eye, things we proles would never see.


    Its ok to bleed.

    Make your mission holy.

  13. chuck says:

    This time will not last..
    Fuck money.

  14. craig glazer says:

    Such Loving Friends YOU and Jerry have, so Warm
    Good to know you have friends Hearne.

  15. mermaid says:

    I want to know about Jerry
    Quit hating on Hearne. This is a good article. I personally would like to know myself. Why did he disappear? Where is he? It would be interesting to find out. So everyone just SHUT up- especially you Chuck.

  16. Chuck's Prayer Partner says:

    Hearne, will you contribute to sending Chuck to rehab?
    Because he is a really bad drunk.
    As one can read.

  17. chuck says:

    Didn’t take.
    Sorry Herne, I luv ya, its just once a week. 🙂

  18. chuck says:

    Actually, I need to apolgise a little louder.
    I am sorry for screaming at ya last night. I get fuckhamemred on Sat, and believe it or not, I actually love the blog and enjoy the insider takes.

    I act like an idiot when I drink, but I am at home looking at You Tube Black and White movies mostly.

    I am not even hung over. Scary.

    Anyway, agian, I sincerely apologise to readers and commenters, whom I always enjoy, and I apologise again to you Herne.


  19. Harry Balczak says:

    Where did he defecate?
    It makes you wonder, where the bum defecated? Did he pinch a loaf in front of Latte Land?

  20. Hearne Christopher says:

    You’re right. Got a little sidetracked.

  21. Hearne Christopher says:

    Who me?

  22. Hearne Christopher says:

    You wanna vote on it? Maybe you can shadow Clay Chastain and get it on the ballot this fall

  23. Hearne Christopher says:

    Gotta learn how to read, dude. I wrote that people were saying he was dead, not that he was dead. Hence the search

  24. Hearne Christopher says:

    Thanks, BarKeep. But I looked under Gerald, already knew that from way back when. That’s why Washington Post reporter Tom Jackman screwed up and misspelled his name four times. Because he ASSUMED that since his name was Gerald, it must be Gerry. He forgot to ask.

  25. Hearne Christopher says:

    You OK, Chuck?

  26. Hearne Christopher says:

    It is touching

  27. Hearne Christopher says:

    That’s cool I’ll still hug it out with ya

  28. BarKeeper says:

    The Boy Got Caught
    Looks like he had a little trouble with some weed in ’07.

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