Starbeams: KC Mayoral Tough Guy ‘Test, Buzzing Libya, KU Ripe for Upset & Tiger Woods Update

Tiger Woods has been spotted with a new girlfriend.  Her name is Alyse Lahti Johnston.  Her father is former St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Jeff Lahti and she got a DUI last October (see mugshot). We hear it’s very serious and Tiger is already making plans to marry her so he can quickly begin cheating on her.

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B-2 Stealth Bombers from Missouri’s Whiteman Air Force Base were involved in the attacks on Libya over the weekend.  You could tell the pilots were from Knob Knoster when they asked permission to buzz the Tripoli Walmart.

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Kansas advances to San Antonio to play in the Sweet 16 after pounding Illinois Sunday.  Notre Dame, Purdue and Syracuse all lost so the road is wide open for the Jayhawks to lose to some no-name team.

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No one is sure who be elected Mayor of Kansas City today, but we’re pretty sure who would win if it came down to a boxing match.
 

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One Response to Starbeams: KC Mayoral Tough Guy ‘Test, Buzzing Libya, KU Ripe for Upset & Tiger Woods Update

  1. WildaBeest says:

    Tiger’s girl looks like one of Charlie Sheen’s goddesses
    Wouldn’t that be a coincidence. Maybe there is only one extant photo of a skanky blonde, and mags just use it wherever. Kinda like photos of newborns. They all look alike. It’s a newsroom secret that they just run a stock photo for newborns.

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