Today: Comic Ralphie May Storms Out on Stanford’s Shows After Showdown at Channel 41

Make no mistake, pretty it was not…

Size XXL funny guy Ralphie May stormed out of Kansas City Tuesday, no-showing two sold out comedy shows at Stanford & Sons in The Legends. That following two days of ill health and ill-advised put downs of Stanford’s owner Craig Glazer.

"Well, shockingly I’ve worked with Ralphie for about 10 years and consider him a friend in the way that you can be friends with comedians," Glazer says.

On May’s Web site, he apologized to fans – but not Glazer – and vowed to return to Kansas City soon.

Here’s how it went down, drugs, threats of fisticuffs, insults and all…

"Ralphie was booked for the week of March 23rd and so I got a call about a week ago that he didn’t want to do it," Glazer says. "He was too tired and was doing all these theaters. And I was pretty pissed and I wrote a harsh email back to Ralphie and his manager and said something like, I think he should do something to make up for this. And he agreed to come in on some off nights."

The off nights being Monday and Tuesday of this week at Stanford’s.

Having graduated to theaters affords May the opportunity to do far fewer shows for far more money.

"So he came in and the first day he did radio and everything was fine," Glazer says. "But he was 30 minutes late to the show Monday night and since he brought his feature act with him I had no way to start the show – it was just me. So I had to do like 15 minutes and I normally do 5. It wasn’t awful, but I was nervous. Like how long can I stay up here?"

Everything was already "a little cold," Glazer says.

"Ralphie looked awful – his skin was white and he looked like he was going to pass out in the green room. He looked so bad that I ran back and got towels and ice. We couldn’t have been nicer.

"He was on pain killers – he said his shoulder was out. And you know, the guy weighs between 400 and 500 pounds, so anything he has is acute."

After a day of dealing with May’s pain and medication issues all systems appeared to be go "and he seemed to come around and he did two hours (Monday night) and was very funny," Glazer says.

Here’s where it gets ugly…

"Well, on Tuesday morning I went to pick Ralphie up at the hotel for the radio appearances – him, the feature act Billy Wayne Davis and the road manager. And they came down late. I had coffee for them. And they followed me to Westport where we did the Mix morning show. That’s where it all started.

"Ralphie started attacking me on the air. He said, ‘Look at Craig. Look at his hair, it’s feathered like T.J. Hooker or Tom Selleck.’ He said, ‘In your town Craig’s flashy and stands out, but in our town – in Hollywood – he’s just another douchebag.’

"And Rocket and Teresa all looked at me like they weren’t sure what to make of it. Like, ‘Should we laugh?’ They knew something was wrong but they were on the air, so they giggled just to make it fun. And I mean, he just went on and on. And when it was over Ponch came over and said, ‘Just let it go’ – he knew I was getting pissed.

"Then we went and did Johnny Dare. And even Dare – who jokes pretty hard with me – took a step back and kind of defended me. Dare said, ‘Yeah, but Craig gets some pretty hot chicks.’ And Ralphie said, ‘Yeah, but they’re all strippers and hookers.’

"Then we went back to KSHB TV and that’s where it all blew up. Ralphie was with his little posse and the show got delayed by 20 minutes and they weren’t happy about that. So we’re sitting in the lobby and Ralphie started in on me."

In an effort to change the subject, Glazer noted an attractive woman on TV looked like his ex wife Connie.

"Did you ever meet her, I asked him," Glazer says. "I was just trying to get the conversation more upbeat and off this attack mode. And Ralphie said, ‘Oh yeah, that blonde girl – wasn’t she a stripper or a hooker or something?’ And I said, ‘No, Ralphie, she wasn’t. That isn’t nice.’

"Then he started in on my old club in Overland Park and said that’s why he’s moved to the Improv. Then we all started to go back to do the TV interview, and the lady from the station said there wasn’t room for all four of us – they just wanted Craig and Ralphie. And that didn’t go over well, and there was some crack made about me – I didn’t hear it – and they all started laughing like jackyls.

"Then I spun around and I went, ‘Boys, when you throw stones at a gunfighter long enough, he’s gonna turn and fight you.’ And I said, "I can’t do anything to Ralphie,’ so I looked at the cowboy comic, Billy Wayne Davis. He was the bigger guy, and I said, ‘You’re 20 years younger than me, let’s step outside.’ Then I said to the Asian (manager) guy, ‘You can come with him and you can be next.’ 

"And they said, ‘We don’t want to fight.’ Then Ralphie said, ‘Hey, you threatened my staff, we’re going home.’ So they got in their car and they all left and left me with their hotel bill. Afterwards I called and texted him and tried to get him to do the shows. And I called his manager. Everyone was apologetic but the damage was done."

Glazer’s bottom line:

"I do feel sorry for Ralphie because underneath his problems, he’s a good guy. But when you’re tired and medicated like that…I think if it’d just been me and Ralphie, nothing would have happened. Ralphie is a big star but these other little sycophants, they’re nobodys. They couldn’t carry my jockstrap.

"I just feel bad for the people who wanted to see the shows. The good news is next week an even funnier comic is here, Jim Jeffries."

The $64 million question: Would the younger, cowboy comic have cleaned Glazer’s clock had the fight gone down?

"I doubt it," Glazer says. "You saw me fighting three guys at once in Overland Park and I was on my feet. I mean, that was a pretty vicious fight."
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23 Responses to Today: Comic Ralphie May Storms Out on Stanford’s Shows After Showdown at Channel 41

  1. Gavin says:

    I don’t think the word “all” means what you think it means
    Hearne said :”Here’s how it went down, drugs, threats of fisticuffs, insults and all…”

    Gavin says: “The word ‘all” not meaning even trying to contact May for his side of the story or referencing that an attempt was at least made to get May to comment.”

    I mean, if you just want to be Glazer’s mouthpiece, why not just say so? This story doesn’t tell “all.” It tells Glazer’s side of what sounds like a contentious episode. I don’t think Glazer is lying, not in the least. But I don’t actually KNOW whether he is telling the truth. For all I know, May might say that Glazer said the wanted to do a few lines of coke off May’s man-tits and THAT is what got the whole thing started.

    I know journalistic objectivity isn’t necessarily what KCC is all about, but when you want to tell a story that totally trashes a guy, can you at least attempt to get some comment from the guy being trashed before you describe the story as somehow all-encompassing?

  2. bschloz says:

    Andy Kuafman in the wrestling match…yeah yeah yeah
    His show couldn’t possibly be funnier than this post! NOICE +1
    $5 bucks on Glaze FTW

  3. KU Forever says:

    I Heard About This On The Mix
    Love the drama Hearne. Yeah Ralphie was all over glazer on that morning show. I could tell there was some friction. He is a funny man but I can see how the ‘Glaze’ got upset. Hope it all blows over.

  4. Joe Cornia says:

    Comics Know
    I’m a comic, yes Ralphie now has a history of acting strangely. Just in the past year or so. He flys off the handle. Couple situations where the club asked him not to come back. I worked with him years ago at Stanfords. He is a talent, but he’s got to get some help. I know Craig, he can go off, but it takes alot to get him there. Alot. I have seen him in action at Westport with a couple problem people, not comics. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so off on a comic, so it had to be really bad.

  5. Monkey Man says:

    This Cracks Me Up
    Ha, Ha, two rich guys fighting over ego’s, I love it. My bread is on the Glazer. Hearne you are way too much.

  6. Black Barbie says:

    Wish I Was On Radio With Craig
    You think what that fat dude said was hateful Craig. You and that damned Johnny Dare got to stop. My momma even said you two was funnin with me again. You problably did that to this guy. You and Dare. Both like little kids. Craig I am gonna come down there to that Rock station and get on your asses, for real. Leave me off the damn fuckin radio you two, NOW.

  7. Coo Koo says:

    Heard It On Dare
    Yeah he was the chain Hearne. It was damn funny though. You could just see Glazer boiling. I loved it. Fucked up Ralphie, pissed off Glazer and laughing out loud Johnny Dare, who could ask for mo!

  8. Ed says:

    Glazer is such a fucking tool. Wow, he gets hot chicks, and could probably kick the crap out of a fat guy! What a cool guy! What, is this high school???

  9. Packers Nation says:

    Get Off My Boys Back
    Glazer you picked the Pack all the way. I’m with you Glazer, screw those cats.

  10. Poor Boy says:

    Ralphie Is Funny MF
    Saw him Monday night, funny show. Sorry all this happened, but two big egos sometimes you get explosion. Heard you on 98,9 that day it blew, funny show. Craig you need a reality tv show with all that drama.

  11. adog1010 says:

    Bring ON The Fights
    Yeah, MMA. I want front row seats. That cowboy looks bad enough. Glazer and the Cowboy. I’ll but a ticket Hearne, set it up. Front Row..

  12. Hearne Christopher says:

    May left his comment on the Web site. You missed that?

  13. Hearne Christopher says:

    Correction. He wanted to kick the young comic’s ass that was about his size and 20 years younger.

  14. Henry The Sports Czar says:

    More Stanfords Crazy World
    Love Ralphie, hope he comes back and they work it all out. I think its a case of two guys under some pressure only they know about.

  15. Kevin Albert says:

    Not all fat guys are funny!
    Fat guy with a fat ego thinks he’s doing KC a favor by blessing us with his comedy presence. News Flash Ralphie, There are a bunch of fat guys in KC far funnier than you. You shouldn’t slander Craig on the way up cuz you’ll probably run into him or better yet have to beg him for a gig on your way down. Lose some weight, lose the orange plastic rain slicker but first and foremost, Ralphie Boy….lose the attitude, you ain’t that funny!

  16. chuck says:

    JMO, Ralphie is kinda funny sometimes.
    Glaze, you don’t want that fat fuck in your place anyway. When he sits down the fuckin band skips. He’s fat now, ok…fat.

    His girlfriend, Partial Eclipse is only half as fat as Ralphie.

    Ok, I’ll stop.

    Fuck him.

  17. Merle Tagladucci says:

    Imagine the Fromundah on this dude
    If I woke up every morning and saw that in the mirror I’d be popping pills and acting like a prick too.

  18. Hearne Christopher says:

    But yes, definitely high school

  19. Hearne says:

    A nod the the master of “journalistic etiquette,” Sir Gavin
    Ralphie’s posted take:

    “To all of my fans who bought tickets to see me at Stanford & Sons Comedy Club (Tuesday) in Kansas City, I regretfully will not be there. I love KC and the people, and the radio shows I did are some of the best in the nation. My sincerest apologies for having to cancel tonight’s shows, but I promise I’ll be back soon!”

  20. Tom says:

    I hope the Fat Fuck dies tomorrow! Fuck him!

  21. craig glazer says:

    I Don’t Hate Ralphie, and Wish Him Well
    Look sometimes people make mistakes. We all do. I forgive him, we had been pretty good friends back in the day. He even invited me to his wedding years ago. I know its hard to live your life in the public eye with his issues. Lets just hope this was an isolated thing and all is well with him in the future.

  22. Gordon Gecko says:

    Great Fight
    Though I have never really met Glazer. I was at the Overland Park comedy years back, like say four, when a fight broke out up front at his club. He was into it with four big men, aged 30-40. They had been on their cell phones, loud and causing a scene with the comics on stage throughout the show. I did see a doorman aske them to be quiet a couple times. When Glazer went over and I supose asked them to stop talking, one of them slugged him. Man it was like TV, a cool bar room brawl. Chairs went flying, punches landing. for a minute it was just Craig and three guys fighting, than his brother jumped in and another guy to help. Got to say old Glazer was like Rocky, he fired off lots of punches that landed. There was blood and torn shirts, like Cops on reality TV. I loved it. The crowd pretty much just watched it. The thing went on for awhile. I’d say nobody really won, but the troublemakers did leave. Glazer went outside after one of them and continued to fight til the cops came. The three dudes took off in their car, don’t know if they got caught. It was great entertainment. I came back a few times hoping for more, but nothing else happened. Hey I can tell you first hand, Glazer ain’t no pussy or slouch when it comes to throwing it down. I just wondered where were the doormen? Why did he have to do it? Maybe he likes that stuff, don’t know. Crazy crazy scene.

  23. TonyIsADirtbag says:

    This Is Better Drama…
    … than seeing a couple of bitches in a real cat fight!

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