Tony: Bill Withers And The Best/Worst Week in Kansas City Ever

I don’t know if I’m up late or early but right now I’m listening to an online play list featuring the soulful sounds of Bill Withers and remembering that I owe Hearne another post this week.

So since I’m in a retro kind of mood, I think it’s appropriate to round up this week in Kansas City news.

Mayor Mark Funkhouser is now a lame duck and is now a footnote in Kansas City history. I’m finished trying to come up with clever analogies to mark this not-so-noteworthy occasion.Instead, I’m surprised how much this DIDN’T change. The earth didn’t split open, there weren’s’t mass celebration in the streets and no one even took a moment to halt from their respective campaigns to lament the one-time political giant’s implosion. 

There’s talk that because The Star called the finalists in the General Election, that they now have more power and influence in Kansas City. This myth is easily busted by the fact that NOBODY voted and their coverage wasn’t influential enough to draw anybody to the polls. For the record, my 87 year-old grandma also predicted the EXACT outcome of the race. She’s also really good when it comes to bingo. But I digress.

This week also offers some more recycled trends. Let’s see:


Rebellion overseas, in Wisconson and now Union protesting in Kansas in Missouri has gripped the imagination of bored liberal columnists.

This is important stuff and puts local life in perspective. And while I don’t want to downplay the significance of rather important change, I will merely remind vigilant readers that it probably won’t change the price of coffee at Starbucks.

If anything, the changes sweeping the globe only reminds us how much life remains constantly mediocre in Kansas City. Sympathetic protesting in the U.S. is nice but I was more impressed that Saturday Night Live was the only major media outlet to really drive the point home and "report" that the rebellion in Egypt threw out a U.S. backed dictator. I’m sure Anderson Cooper might have spit out this fact but it wasn’t as noteworthy (or hilarious) as him getting his ass kicked by a crowd of angry brown people. But that’s old news, the "new hotness" involves radio talk show hosts playing hypocrite and rebuking Union protests across the nation because they don’t share the same ideals, stupid outfits and inane rhetoric as the Tea Party.

Closer to home, I’ve been digging this gray, cloudy, foggy and cold weather if only because it reminds us that the American economy isn’t EVER going to turn around and this town is caught in a cycle of FAIL that starts with horrible schools and then continues with macroeconomic factors beyond the control of naive local politicos.

China and India are getting closer and closer to calling the shots every day, but in this part of the world that only means that the division between rich and poor will grow more distinct, and the American Middle-Class will continue going the way of the Dodo and the Metro Daily Newspaper.

Cable TV News talking heads will cover this subject in greater detail when gas hits 5 bucks a gallon this Summer.

Long story short (too late) never before has it been so obvious that the era of American Exceptionalism is over. As a matter of fact, the "mood" of people in the street in the Midwest reminds me more of my ’70’s recession-era-childhood. Except that President Obama isn’t as religious as Jimmy Carter.

Still, to continue this recap, this town said NO to the empty rhetoric of a FAILED Mayor.

******* They caught the student suspects that were trying to burn down Southwest High School and it looks like even the most staunch advocate of education in the current admisistration believes that only prison will teach these kids a lesson.

******* Everybody is promising a boring Mayoral election between Sly James And Mike Burke and I really do believe them.

******* Local legend Bill Grigsby died reminding us that the history of The Greatest Generation is ending one day at a time.

******* We had a really great debate with former reporter and current blogger Jim Fitzpatrick and instead of a blogger beef we learned about campaign motivation adjusting to digital life. I think Fitz was too nice to me but it also just reinforced my notion that he’s a class act. Chinese proverb: You won’t truly know someone until you fight them. (Full disclosure: I think that was in one of the Matrix movies)

Anyhoo, at the risk of going off into a Joe Miller musical tangent, I’m rocking Bill Withers tunes in the early morning for free via the sorcery of the Internets and I invite readers who have made it this far to take a listen to "Sweet Wanomi" with me if only because the retro classic will help elucidate this realistic and slightly melancholy worldview that I’ve laid out in this missive.

And maybe, clue people in to the fact that nothing really changes in Kansas City.

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6 Responses to Tony: Bill Withers And The Best/Worst Week in Kansas City Ever

  1. TonyIsADirtbag says:

    Tony, Tony, Tony:
    Tony, you wrote (in part): “Rebellion overseas in Wisconson ….”

    This is just stunning. Where, exactly, do you think Wisconsin is located?

  2. Funk will come back says:

    Funk Will Rise Again
    You are celebrating too soon T. The Funk did more for Kansas City than anyone, he will be a Congressman. Just wait and see.

  3. smartman says:

    More useless swill from the bovinely inspired Boracle of the Boulevard.

  4. TonyIsADirtbag says:

    Tony (and Jr.):
    Tony, thanks for correcting your typo with no acknowledgment as to that fact. Sounds like something Jr. believes the Star has been guilty of as of late.

  5. Formerlyinafunkaboutthefunk says:

    Congressman Flunkhouser
    Smartwithnothinghouser as our next Congressman. This clown will be lucky to get a job as a greeter at Walmart. Thank g-d the voters have spoken and our Municipal Nightmare is over. G-d damn this putrid man and his even more despicable wife.

  6. Tracy Thomas says:

    I predict it first: Funk will move out of town. First ever
    You read it here on KCC first: Funk will move out of town. Rather than lose the house, he will take a job at a small university back east, teaching accounting.

    This would be the first mayor in KC history to leave town.

    I hear Gloria is still posting as if he is running. I’m trying to get someone to send me those.

    Since their home has 3 mortgages (so much for being “good with the money”) maybe they will just walk away. Like the Beverly Hillbillies or the Grapes of Wrath. Pile their orange signs on a wagon and walk behind the mule. Back to the hollows of West Virginia. From whence they came. They have ruined this town, thank you Yael Abouhalkah for giving them $1 million in free publicity four years ago to elect the Funk. Will you be flexing your pathetic little biceps again in this election?

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