Today: KCC Comments Crowd Haters Duke it Out With Glazer Groupies Over Size Matters

Oh, the incredible lightness of the comments section’s being…

I mean, really.

Here’s the deal. Comedy club magnate Craig Glazer buys a sexy-beyond-belief, flame red Lotus Evora sports car and the MENSA crowd goes crazy! Weighing in with guestimates as to his you-know-what size. Gotta be infinitesimally small, they insist. Why else get a car that cool?

Excuse me?

Since when did it become hip to poke around online under assumed names trying to guess someone’s schlong size?

But ladies and gentlemen, it’s very much come to that here on KC Confidential…


"Rich prick buys expensive cars because his jimmy is too short," sniped kcredsox.

"This is confirmation that Craig has one of the smallest dicks in Kansas City! Why else would he need a car like this?" adds S. Lauren. 

"I f’d the man," counters Maureen. "He is a naughty lover and his dick is good sized, sorry haters to break the news to you."

Glazer’s take on the talk?

"It couldn’t be dumber," he says. "Number one, I don’t remember ever showing my dick to anybody, unless they were in prison with me. A lot of women have seen it – it just doesn’t make sense. My dick’s been about as big an issue in my life as my religion has – meaning zero."

People who play the dick size card are losers, Glazer says.

"It’s the most common put down joke there is. The importance of someone saying that to me is like someone saying, Craig’s gay because of the way he wears his hair. It’s just stupid. I’ve got nothing to prove. I’ve never heard a real dick size story about anybody. You know, big dick, little dick – those are just common hater stories."
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33 Responses to Today: KCC Comments Crowd Haters Duke it Out With Glazer Groupies Over Size Matters

  1. BJ says:

    Hey Hearne, Take just a moment to unplant your angry inch out of Craig’s ass to hear this one. No one gives a shit what car the guy drives. He could drive the fucking Wiener Mobile for all we give a shit. His contrib to this site is nothing more than a shitty space filler IMO.

  2. Alfred Kinsey says:

    Why the need for quotes?
    Hearne, you of all people should be able to accurately describe Craig’s man parts. Why did you need to quote him? Should have been a first-person narrative, not a news story.

  3. Question says:
    You never did answer the question- “why anyone would/should care what car anyone buy?

    Without an answer which makes sense about why you posted that thread thne I assume you were looking for this. Come on man, the penis posts were as predictable as the Abu Ghraib results.The the Stanford Prison Experiment ( ) results indicated EXACTLY what would happen at Abu Ghraib,it was as predictable as penis statements on a red sports car thread, are you really saying you are surprised? Surpirsed like the government was about the Abu Ghraib debacle.

    Come on man.

    I made no satements about his dick size and after too many of his lame threads I could not care less about whats his name. Which is why I asked why you posted his persoanl life info , who cares? I grew bored of his his drivel long ago. Wen someone does not respond to questions about posts, that is boring. Are you wanting to bore us?

    Hearne, you are agood guy,and you are entertaining. I am a fan of your writing….. please keep us entertained, and spare us the details of a “nobody’s” personal life. I dont care “nobody people”, why would I care?

  4. good grief says:

    oops..huh? howtf …..I didnt mean to tripost.. please delete….. sorry..
    and maybe on the next go round with your tech guys, maybe see if they can add spell check and grammar helping too; )

  5. John Altevogt says:

    Names, require names
    You may not get as many responses, but they’ll be a lot higher quality. It should also get rid of all The Star personnel who come on here to tell you how they don’t care about stories about The Star.

  6. chuck says:

    Ya stole my joke.
    “The Incredible Lightnes of Beans” .

  7. harley says:

    I hope hearne is wrong.
    “i don’t remember showing my dick to anyone…unless they were in prison with me”……..I hope hearne
    misqouted him on this line!!!!!!!!!!
    Even I refused to get into this subject area …but again…so many people have a true dislike for
    these people that they need to understand that they need to have very thick skin . And its not
    just the readers of this column….
    If they can’t take the heat…get out of the kitchen. My comments are usually detailed information
    about why the guy is wrong. Actual facts…not some ridiculous comments. KCC needs to upgrade
    its writers….because it’s become a joke. I wrote 3 comments yesterday and each one detailed facts
    and figures and information concerning the story. .Or i’ll have some fun with my comments..but most of them
    are detailed…informative….or satire and fun poking at someone.
    But he sets himself up for these attacks by bragging how young he looks while wearing a hair piece. I have
    no problem with hair pieces…i’ll need one somday…but don’t put yourself out there as a target.
    He sets himself up by braggingabout “his hotties”…then we see him with some “unusual” people with
    some low occupations. WE didn’t write his posts!
    He attempts to brag about his new car….and everyone notes that they could care less….I gave some info on the
    car and how it drove and i did make some fun remarks but again he puts himself out for this satire. Kind of
    like what John Stewart does on tv.
    Its simple hearne…we understand your place to defend a friend. What we don’t understand and
    what a large majority of your readers are asking is “who cares about this guy”.
    You want to grow…you give the readers what they want to read. TV stations don’t put on shows they
    like to watch…they want shows that attract viewers.
    This article was rather strange. I really don’t understand why this man puts himself out there for these
    kind of things. Drive your cars…sleep with your women…live your life…but do you really need to brag
    and show arrogance toward others. 70% of the readers have a negative attitude toward him.
    Mosty importantly….is this the best you can offer your readers?
    I’ve never read what the kaufmans drive…or who george brett slept with…
    Lets have some adult articles and some adult discussions….not about this guy…but about real
    interesting fun topics. And he has written some good articles that were solid…but most of them
    were so weak and so ridiculous I’m surprised they were published.
    The question is….Is this the best you can offer your readers. You might find that you can dramaticlaly
    increase views by upgrading the writers. There’s lot of people out there who want a forum outside
    the star to discusss local issues…politics…government…business etc. We want better and if you
    don’t provide it…someone else will. Its basic business.
    By the way…whats up with the austin case from westport..heard some new news…you heard anything?

  8. kcredsox says:

    Thank You Harley
    Even though I disagree with you 99% of the time, you have hit the nail on the head with your posts regarding the cool red car that Mr. Limpdick now owns. Now go back to being your asshole self so I can disagree and hate you again.

  9. DVD says:

    I agree with Harley on this one
    I didn’t get in on the insults (or even read the article) regarding Mr. Glazer’s newest vehicle purchase because I (like the vast majority of Kansas City), don’t particularly care, and I don’t see how it’s noteworthy. The fact that it was posted by Hearne was bizarre, as it came across as a lame attempt to prop up one of his writers, and brag about how rich and cool he is. The fact is, Glazer is over the hill and rapidly becoming a parody of himself on this site, and like Harley said, I can’t imagine posts about the cars he buys are really what KCC readers are clamoring for. In the end, is this a blog dedicated to news and topics relevant to KC, or a tool Hearne can use to promote his friends?

  10. halrey says:

    kcredsox…..haven’t heard
    a single intelligent comment you ever made. So until you show some
    rational/factual/informative and maybe even provocative comments that show some
    semblance of intelligence i consider you unworthy. If you disagree with me fine..
    but do it with your brain….not with your ass.

  11. Hearne says:

    It’s a buffet, guys…
    not a one item menu. Glazer is a true character – a very high profile one with lots of very interesting irons in the fire . As such, like most celebs, people take an interest in the minutia that surrounds him. Don’t care for it? There are plenty of other stories about sports, movies, fashion, politics, etc. to browse.

    Hey, Craig wrote a very thoughtful piece on the president’s state of the union address yesterday a couple stories down. We try and bat to all fields.

  12. tracy says:

    I think we all will feel better when we get Maria back
    How about this: Craig loans his car to Maria
    and she takes Harley for a test drive.

    And don’t forget the photo!

  13. harley says:

    hearne…the guys not a celebrity…
    He’s not a celebrity. There are few in kc.
    The real celebrities are the doctors working at truman…the volunteers
    who help raise money….the philanthropic persons in kc who give time and
    money to causes….the nurses….the teachers….they are celebrities in
    my book.
    You make him a celebrity…but really noone cares…except you and him.

  14. Hearne says:

    There you go again…
    You make all that sense and then you squander it with a silly afterthought. You mean the real HEROES are doctors, teachers, etc. Why don’t you look up the meaning of the word celebrity before you misspeak. It has nothing to with the doing of good, it’s a “famous or well-known person.” Which Craig clearly is in this market.

    Repeat after me: Duh!

  15. DVD says:

    No offense Hearne
    But you’ve been around KC a very long time, and that works both to your favor and detriment. Nowhere is this more obvious than above, where you refer to Craig as a “celebrity.” At one time, perhaps, but in 2011? I’m 27 years old, and an almost-lifelong Kansas Citian. When I first started reading this blog last year, I had no clue who he was. I figured him to be just another one of the KCC writing staff. After reading a few of his wild stories I did some Internet research to figure it out. I’d even been to Stanford’s and had no clue who he was. His “celebrity status” today is questionable at best.

    For the record, to make sure I’m not completely out on my own here, I just went around my office and asked six under-30 coworkers who Craig Glazer is. One knew, one said “the name sounds familiar,” and the other four had no clue. Then again, maybe I’m not the target demographic for this site.

  16. Cliffy says:

    Don’t try to make sense with him, DVD.
    He’s testing this new marketing approach. It involves being a total asshole to those who can make your business successful by visiting your web site.

    He would like to be kind of like Tony, but instead of being an underprivileged minority he’s more like a rich kid, smartass punk.

    I’m with you, however. I had never heard of Glazer until I started coming to this web site. Cool car, but what a waste of money.

  17. Hearne Christopher says:

    OK, OK. Here ya go. The Evora is a brand new sports car from Lotus that entered the country last June. I just reviewed it for The Hills magazine. Mentioned it to Craig who said he was looking for a new car.

    Craig’s a very high profile guy here. Owns the top comedy club. Has owned a number of bars. Dad ran for mayor. He has a book out with a movie rights option currently in play. He’s on like four radio stations weekly. And he’s kind of a unique, out-there sort of a dude with an interesting lifestyle and opinions.

    I prefer to think of his buying an Evora as more trivia than trivial.

    How’s that?

  18. Hearne Christopher says:

    That’s cool, DVD. Celebrities come in all ages and walks of life. Most people can’t tell you who the vice president of the United States is either. While Craig is not on that level, I trust from your Googling you now realize better who he is. Holly Starr is a local celelbrity and most people probably never heard of her. Most people can’t name three star players on the Royals or the Chiefs either. And most people can’t tell you the name of any of the top three jazz acts in Kansas City.

    The fact is, most people don’t know most things. You don’t have to be at the level of President Obama or Johnny Depp or Oprah to be a celebrity. Clearly Craig isn’t on that level. Nor is that Royals player they just signed to the multi-million dollar contract the other day.

    Now, what was his name?

  19. Maureen says:

    Glazer Is A Somebody, Sorry
    I have been reading the stories on this website for more than one year. I have posted as ME many, many times. So I am who I say I am people. Met Glazer in late 07, on the Plaza, he was with Hearne as a matter of fact, at Reverse. It was late afternoon I was on kinda a date. Funny none of you seem to have heard of the man, everyone I know had, including me. While you may not like him, he is in the media,on tv,radio,news weekly even daily. Not too sure who else is? We dated off and on for a year. He had just been divorced.
    I was his date at his Plaza book signing that fall. We had run ins over his not wanting to be tied down. Glazer wanted to stay single. I wanted a real fulltime relationship, he didn’t. We split up. Yeah I was pissed, but to be honest he never did anything mean or wrong to me. Look he is a very handsome man, acts much younger than his years, so forth. I couldn’t have given a shit what car he drove, as long as it wasn’t a clunker, and it wasn’t. I’m sorry but with all his ego and self importance I got a bit fed up. But thats who the guy is, he isn’t mean or really a bragging person. Hey the man has lots going on in the medis here and around the nation. I saw it.

    So if you want to bag on him, thats on you. If you knew him, I think you’d like him. He’s a guys guy. Where ever we went people knew and seemed to want to be around him. I’ll be honest the boy has charisma, he just does. And if he “ain’t” a celebrity in this town, nobody is, he is. I read the book, not bad. There Craig, I took your side, happy? If these men weren’t jealous or had their own special little problems they wouldn’t comment. Dig it.

  20. DVD says:

    Well Maureen
    I don’t recall anyone saying he’s an awful human being. I’m just calling into question the quality of his articles and the celebrity status ascribed to him by this website. If you disagree, that’s fine.

  21. Rock Man says:

    Love The Glazer
    Glazer I am 24, listen to 98.9 every day. Brother, me and my pals all know who the fuck you are. We do beer night weekly, when we can sleep late. Tell Johnny Hi from the BodyShop boys on Shawnne Parkway, used to work on his jeep.

  22. Answered says:

    Snitches are bitches
    That was was a good answer to the question, thankshearne

    As far as whats-his-name being a celeb? lmao, maybe in the mirror he thinks he is, but most people (outside of LE) have never heard of this nobody (which I suppose helps his informant business). Based on his articles one can surmise that he is a celeb in law enforcement circles. Based on his blabblng about he is good friends with the KCPD Chief. and how he is well known with the Federal drug enforcement agency( DEA). He loves to brag about how much he supports LEO efforts to lock people up for non violent crimes. He loves to brag up how it is big business for him and LE to imprison humans. He brags how marijuana should never be legal, becasue it would hurt hi, and the DEA’s business model. I guess when one is connected, like he is, that there are no concernes about punishment for one’s misdoings. It is a rigged system and a fucked country that allows this horse sht to occur…….. and now you are glorifying him here too ?

    You are showing off the fruits of his corrupt lifestyle? That makes me want to puke.There is no telling how many good people he has helped put in prison, and no telling how much money he has made snitching out people who made the mistake of partying with the wrong people. In his articles he explains how snitching and locking people up it is a very profitable business, so no wonder he can afford expensive toys, but punks like him bring a rotten smell into the room.

  23. DVD says:

    If you had the ability to do a scientific poll, I would guarantee you more people are familiar with Holly Starr and Billy Butler than Craig Glazer. Never mind that he’s not on the same level of recognition as the President or Oprah. I’d say he’s not on the same level as Jon McGraw and Bryan Pena. Or hell, Tony Pena for that matter. The difference here is recency and relevance, of which Glazer has neither. It could be that Craig was toast of the town when I was too young to pay attention to such things, but I don’t believe that to your average KC resident today he’s considered noteworthy.

  24. Hearne says:

    Here’s the bottom line…
    Craig Glazer is an extremely well known individual in Kansas City. That some or many people may be unaware of him is of little consequence. Most people that walk the streets of this city probably don’t know who the chief of police is. Doesn’t mean he’s not well known. Lots of people probably can’t tell you who Justin Bieber is.

    I’ll take it a step further. Popular as the Chiefs are, I’ll bet I could walk through the Plaza and Oak Park Mall and get more people that couldn’t name the current Chiefs quarterback than who could. None of which takes away from the status or accomplishments of those individuals.

    Hey, my hunch is everybody kicking this dog here now know pretty fully who Glazer is.

    The good news: the celebrity-or-not-celebrity controversy seems to have drained the life out of the speculation about Glazer’s manhood.

  25. Anon says:

    Charges in Westport death
    Please, leave worthelss nobody out of post from now on, no one cares, did you read the posts?

    ON THE OTHER HAND..I thought you were very concerned about the death in Westpost. A reyou not concerned enough to do a post about the man who was charged with his death?

  26. John Doe says:

    Underlying Issue
    Hearne, I think the underlying issue with all the negative comments regarding Glazer is his constant self aggrandizement. Someone who regularly feels the need to remind you how cool he is and how wonderful his life is is going to catch a lot of flak. Besides that, he leaves himself vulnerable way too often. As one example, after numerous articles proclaiming himself a football expert that we should be listening to, he manages to have Joe Montana quarterbacking the Chiefs almost a decade after he retired and the Colts still headquartered in Baltimore over a quarter century after they moved to Indianapolis.

    I guess I take the approach that if you have to tell me how important and wonderful you are, you’re probably not. I think the responses you are seeing have as much to do with that as anything.

  27. Kerouac says:

    ‘organic’ and ‘inorg’; hindsight, nigh on near religious experience can summon.

    Still recall the first time laid eyes upon & admired the curves as my eager hands caressed her & then gave her the stick – warmed up all 426 purring inches of Hemi. Another virgin moment mine, I beheld (this before I held up her poster with an single trembling hand, mine) Raquel Welch ‘One Million Years BC’… seems almost that long ago now, tho still remember: I was 16 – she was 37… 22 – 35.

    Which is to say: cubes, pubes, unshaven, ported and/or polished, the unvarnished truth is… size matters.

    As for CG’s implied amnesia or proclivity, even (“I don’t remember ever showing my dick to anybody, unless they were in prison with me”), no comment. Result of eyewitness experiences when I worked as Corrections Officer in a prison years ago during my college years, a faulty memory appears SOP for the incarcerated, even more so based on the frequency return engagements, many them.)

    In conclusion, I would recommend driving single stick American Muscle, four on the floor and Mopar or no car (as an personal matter, I eschewed the statutory grape & panther pink in lieu of metallic light gold with black racing stripes… your mileage may vary.)

  28. harley says:

    okay….this is ridiculous…
    lets all move on. soomeone reading this site for the first would think we’re freaking nuts.
    Lets move on asnd hopefully with all the issues facing all of us we can find some
    interesting comments on important issues. Just don’t comment on the ridiculous ones
    and lets all stop getting pissed over these subjects…….

  29. Hearne Christopher says:

    Um, funny you should mention it. I spent the better part of the afternoon tracking down people in KC and Mo. State liquor control, talking to Kansas City police, putting in a call to Brian’s mother (who had contacted me via facebook) and speaking to other Westport business people about the case.

    Check it.

  30. Hearne says:

    Harley as the voice of reason?
    I’ll take it!

  31. Hearne Christopher says:

    Hey, John

    Thanks for the comment. For the record, the Montana gaffe was merely a slip of the tongue. Craig well knows it was 1993 and has referenced that fact before. He called all excited after the Chiefs win and merely misspoke.

  32. John Ozggood says:

    Glazer Is Close To What He Says He Is!
    I was a long time cook at Stanfords, Kitchen manager in the early 90’s. Knew Craig, Jeff and Jack. They always treated me fair and squre. Really. They are a riot. Craig is just really playing a role in the media of the somewhat likealbe bad guy. Thats all. He knows that. Let me tell you, the guys a hard working son of a bitch. He ain’t no rich kids son. His dad was tough all three boys. Always. To a fault. I don’t know and can’t think of a more flashy high pofile person in recent KC memory. Dare is mentioned alot, but he plays out that common man kinda redneck charachter. I’m not sure if thats who he really is. I worked at Johnny Dares in 2003 and met Dare a couple times, liked him. Boy he and Craig would argue man, but I sensed they deep down liked one another. Like brothers argue hard.

    I google Craig Glazer now and again, you have to admit the man has done alot of stuff not only here but on the national scene. Book, many sports films, been on a boat load of radio and tv talk shows all over the country. Even Stern,Mankow and G.Gordon Liddy, its on the google and you can hear the interviews. Nothing is funnier than Glazer and Dare going at it. Today Dare had him talking about Jews, his old black girlfriend Black Barbie and the time he crapped his pants in LA on the highway. Me and my staff were listening and laughing our tails off. Glazer and Dare are funnier than most comics Johnny has on, for sure. My favorite 98.9 mornings are with those two.

    His book gives you insight into him and its very interesting. It’s true I think cause most of it is documented with articles and court records. Nowhere did he sell drugs to kids or rat out anyone, he got ratted on for sure. I think Glazer is often misunderstood. Well enough on that, just felt someone who knows these guys should talk. About all his girls, jeez. True from my seeing it in Westport. So cut our boy a little slack. It’s comedy and he is a funny fuck.

  33. stupidiot says:

    Glazers have been publicity-seeking crooks foreverI
    I have known the Glazers for 43 years. They have always been notorious liars and thieves. Craig, Jeff, and Jack’s futures were cemented when in their earliest years father Stan taught them that to steal from their friends and neighbors was the right thing to do, and that honest people were idiots. Stan also taught them the psuedo-art of self-aggrandizement.

    The result of Stan’s influence is that all three of his boys did substantial time in prison, and that while fairly intelligent humans, none ever contributed to the betterment of society, but were and are mere parisites that do nothing to advance the condition of the human race. While modestly interesting in a train-wreck sort of way, they are really nothing but sad creatures who were complete embarrassments to their lovely mother Rita.

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