Oh, the incredible lightness of the comments section’s being…
I mean, really.
Here’s the deal. Comedy club magnate Craig Glazer buys a sexy-beyond-belief, flame red Lotus Evora sports car and the MENSA crowd goes crazy! Weighing in with guestimates as to his you-know-what size. Gotta be infinitesimally small, they insist. Why else get a car that cool?
Since when did it become hip to poke around online under assumed names trying to guess someone’s schlong size?
But ladies and gentlemen, it’s very much come to that here on KC Confidential…
"Rich prick buys expensive cars because his jimmy is too short," sniped kcredsox.
"This is confirmation that Craig has one of the smallest dicks in Kansas City! Why else would he need a car like this?" adds S. Lauren.
"I f’d the man," counters Maureen. "He is a naughty lover and his dick is good sized, sorry haters to break the news to you."
Glazer’s take on the talk?
"It couldn’t be dumber," he says. "Number one, I don’t remember ever showing my dick to anybody, unless they were in prison with me. A lot of women have seen it – it just doesn’t make sense. My dick’s been about as big an issue in my life as my religion has – meaning zero."
People who play the dick size card are losers, Glazer says.
"It’s the most common put down joke there is. The importance of someone saying that to me is like someone saying, Craig’s gay because of the way he wears his hair. It’s just stupid. I’ve got nothing to prove. I’ve never heard a real dick size story about anybody. You know, big dick, little dick – those are just common hater stories."