Glazer: Why People Hate Craig Glazer & Why I Love Myself

There are just so many really damn good reasons to dislike or hate me, so let’s just get right to it…

Craig Glazer is arrogant. He’s an egomaniac. He needs to get over himself.

I date girls way too young for me – like in their 20s – what a jerk. I drive not one, but two Porsches – major asshole for that.  I’m on like every radio show in town that matters, giving my thoughts on everything from sports to how to fix this city. Face it, I’m a know-it all jerk-off that thinks because I’ve lived so much of life and got a book written about myself, that I’m the last word on everything.

A big-mouth moron. 

Boy, I’m even starting to hate myself.

Oh yeah, I’m in my 50s, for chrissakes. And get this, I work out like five or six days a week, maintain a year round tan somehow (and am likely one of those fake bake fags). I do some crap to my hair,must not be real; must be  a weave. I’m a joke. Yeah, I actually try to look and stay YOUNG. Hell, none of us do that at this age.

After all, at my age do I really need all those girlfriends?

And do they need to be that young? Come on now, one is enough for anyone. Oh get this, I produce sports films, like anybody gives a crap. Anyone can do that. Big deal. I’ve been on all those national radio and TV shows. There was even that dumb two-part special on me, on, oh yeah ,Entertainment Tonight. Big wow. Nobody watches that stupid show anyways.

And this is rich; I hosted this local loser TV show a couple years ago called YOUR BIG BREAK. Guess I thought I was Simon!

Yeah, I brought my comics on the show with me, even Hearne once. What a jack bat. I must think I’m funny. Hell, nobody else does. Don’t know why Johnny Dare has me on so much, must be a fake laugh track or something.

And my favorite, I’m a fool who wants his life made into a major film that talked Clint Eastwood and Michael Eisner into even paying me for the rights to make the movie. What do those guys know about movies anyway?

I could go on… and on.

Guess even I must have a few friends. Not sure why they like me. I probably pay them to hang out with me. Yeah, I probably pay all those young girls, too.  I mean how else could I get them?

Besides, they’re all strippers and hookers, the kind of girls anyone can have.

I mean easy hits. Most guys could just walk right up to them and BANG, take them down.

I think I’m cool. Boy, am I ever  living in a dream world. I dress like I’m 25 or so, come on man, who am I kidding? The fact that I won’t give up on being the center of attention in my own world is the most disturbing thing of all. I JUST DON’T WANT TO STOP. Now I even write on this website. Next thing you know, I’ll want my own reality TV show. Yeah, about me and my weird family. Who do I think I am? People quit doing that crap years ago, grow up, stop it already it’s god damn embarrassing. I just hate the shit outta myself.

So my dad ran for mayor a couple times. He lost. He’s a bigger asshole than I am.

NOW WHY LIKE CRAIG GLAZER: NOT MUCH OF A REACH, SINCE I AM CRAIG GLAZER.

Uh, for starters I have a dog and a cat. My dog’s name is Junior and my cat’s name is Monkey.  Junior is a miniature dachshund. I love my pets. Of course they are the only ones who would live with me.

Oh and I’m giving to my friends – likely buying them off as well. And I love my brothers and nephews.

That’s about it. Hey if I moved away or even died, wouldn’t that be cool?

So happy New Year’s Haters & Friends; we’re all gonna end up in the same place anyways, right?

I’m talking about LAS VEGAS! You thought I meant…

Oh yeah, Glazer doesn’t believe in God either. Man is he stupid.

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31 Responses to Glazer: Why People Hate Craig Glazer & Why I Love Myself

  1. pw98ushc says:

    IF Tony Botello died or moved away, that’d be cool.

    You? Not so much.

  2. Monkeyhawk says:

    Well, you convinced me.
    I pretty much agree with your opinions but I think you’d turn out to be an ass hole for a friend.

    Like it matters.

  3. chuck says:

    Do not go gently even into that good early afternoon…
    Rage against the commenters. Heh heh.

    Vicarious victories, I notch a win every time I read your takes.

    Gotta hand it to ya dude, I like looking at all the beautiful young girls, but jeeze what a pain in the ass.

    Saw Hugh fucken Hefner is getting married at 84 to a 24 year old. Now I realize the money will help and that its showbusiness, but what the fuck, she didn’t know who the Beatles were. She knew who Paul McCartney was (Or maybe she lied when she realized the gist of the questions, but…), but, me, I am glad they didn’t ask her about WWII, or the Kennedy Assasination etc.

    I guess they could have asked her about the Kenny assignation, and she could have replied, “Yeah, I fucked a guy named Kenny”.

    I am picturing me picking up a 25 year old chick at the Hadley School for the blind. Its not too far. (If I picked up a 25 yr old whore, doubled her price, she would make me put a bag on my head.) I would take her to an early bird dinner at a local cafeteria and try to get a second date with her the next day at 6 AM.

    I would DVR the SHIT outta your Reality TV Show.

    I’m glad you drive Porsches too. Even when I was young, they were too tough for me, acceleration into turns??? Its like backing up a trailer, some one else can do it, right?

    Happy New Year Glaze. Lookin forward to your adventures in 2011.

    chuck

  4. markx says:

    Who …
    …is this “Glazer” of whom you speak ?

    …And why would ANYBODY care ?

  5. I smell a rat says:

    Hater, the most tired word of 2010
    People don’t break your balls for what you have done. I’d say it’s the constant self promoting, blowing your own horn thing that makes you easy to dislike and more than a little annoying. If you feel the need to repeat your “resume” on a daily basis, you might be an insecure, full of shit, douche bag. You do. You are. Nuff said.

  6. harley says:

    Noone dislikes you….
    they pity you~

  7. harley says:

    Man…you do need some
    serious help. Serious help! This bullshit is scary. Someone needs to help you soon! What a mess!

  8. Red says:

    Sounds to me like Mr. Glazer is pretty insecure…

  9. Gavin says:

    I don’t hate you or like you
    I don’t even think about you. How can I hate something to which I am completely indifferent?

    I guess if I did think about you enough to care to make the effort to form an opinion about you I wouldn’t hate you for driving two Porsches and dating young girls, etc. I’d probably dislike you because you’re the kind of guy who gets up on a stage and brags about that kind of stuff, though.

  10. Java Man says:

    Glazier may live alone
    but every morning he awakes with the one he loves.

  11. mermaid says:

    Better less said…
    Please stop trying so hard for attention. It makes me sick. Just try to be cool and not talk about it and that will make you cool. You just totally demeaned yourself.

  12. I smell a rat says:

    That thing on your greasy over inflated head is either
    an Apollo weave, a muskrat pelt, or the work of the single worst barber in the metro area. Works for you though.

  13. Cliffy says:

    This was pretty stupid …
    But it’s better than your sports writing.

    -Cliffy

  14. kraming says:

    Glazer is Crazy Funny
    That was funny man. You entertain me. My mom even laughed. Boy these guys go nuts over your stuff huh? Is that girl in the photo Maria?

  15. Stan's Other Son says:

    From Stan’s Other Son
    Why do you have to knock dad (Stan)? I’d bet he’s doing much better than you, not to mention the fact that despite him being close to 80, he’s pulling down much better wool with Lori than you’d ever dream of getting.

  16. sam says:

    JO JO You Got Some splaining to do
    Jo Jo did you write this thing? Looks like it. Hilarious. Glaze you are the funniest guy in KC.

  17. harley/jojo says:

    No…didn’t write it….wouldnt ever write something like
    this. How low can hearne go with this site besides to let some
    narcisstic fool write this kind of crap. Seriously…a public forum is no place
    for a fool like glazer to write such shit.
    There is nothing but pity for this guy. Insecure that he has to put this out in
    public. something that his own family finds disgraceful. something that shows
    his own family hates to see and hear.
    and to continuously try to make himself something he is not is even more
    absurd and atrocious.
    Grow up buddy. You can’t fool mother nature. be proud that you are 59/60 years
    old. Nothing wrong with growing old. Saw your high school yearbook and know exactly
    how old you are. and from the pics you are showing it. The bad hairpiece is so uncool.
    You don’t dress like a 25 year old…you dress like a slob…and no taste especially in leather
    that went out with the fonze on “happy days”.
    Noone hates you. You put yourself out in public as something you are not. As sometone
    trying to prove that he is something other than you really are. No wonder intelligent/older/
    classy women reject you. You need those 25 year olds because they have no worldly
    experience and can oogle you like a grandfather…because they want you for the
    money you don’t have.
    Saw you wrote this story on new years eve. Was it lonely having to write this type of
    article on new years eve…. the time to be with someone you care about and love.
    and you’re writing this type of articleabout how you love yourself. Must be lonely being the
    most famous guy in this one horse town. and look at the responses you got…all negative
    and pointing out that you’re thevonly one who loves you. we all need a point in our life to look inthe mirror. I’ve had to do it many times.
    and ask ourselves are we who we want to be? You need that desperately. Look at who you are.
    You can have all the phony bullshit credentials you want about obscure videos…phony movie deals…a book you paid
    to have written about yourself…a live of crime and screwing up young kids by selling them drugs…stories about your
    hollywood life that probably are made up…..you can have all that and try to impress people. But you haven’t
    noone cares and they know the source of that bullshit.
    Look in the mirror…ad you’ll see a aging/lonely/worried/ guy.
    How sad…how truly sad because you could do some good things after you turn 60….its not too late…its never
    too late….
    Noone cares about your phony resume…and now even your own family is turning on you…..and you
    insult your father…..what kind of man are you?
    We can throw criticisms around about your opinions and your writings…and as another commentator
    wrote…noone dislikes you…we all just feel sorry for you and your life.
    May god shine his light on you this year. It’s never too latev to change your life.
    May you be at peace in 2011.

  18. Robert Fox says:

    Always thought you were a Jackoff, Now I know you are!
    What a piece of shit, you and your drug addict family. Viagra costs a lot of money, why don’t you just pull on it asshole? You know, every time I see you I think maybe there is no God like you believe, just who could shit out a person like you! Your book gives you a hard on I bet! It’s a sad day when you tried to hit on me and I found your dick is only 3 inches. Ahhh! That’s why! Short dick syndrome! Why don’t you hang yourself or something and give all of us girls a big thrill, cause’ that’s the only way you can turn us on! Your Mom I hope is dead because even she probably couldn’t stand the fact you are such a piece of shit! Your Dad at almost 80 should be pulling hard slapping his Viagra dick because he shot his wad and should be sad he didn’t flush it!

  19. Kerouac says:

    RAIDERS – ‘WITH CONVICTION’
    The MIRAGE is in full force nee effect!

    FINAL SCORE: OAK 31 – kcindy ‘cries uncle’

    coach returns to pumpkin, wheels fall off the ‘fraudchise’, red-a**ed ‘rella won’t be able to sit dom for a week now – then next weekend – the same thing will happen again – heh heh heh heh heh!

    To chuckie cheese lowe, bs schnoz and mr. glazedover: A ‘VERY VERY’ HAPPY NEW YEAR fellers – you/kcindy LOSE!

    (PS) I’ll be sure to re-post this again Monday on the newer football related KCConfidential blogs!

    You know… for e-m-p-h-a-s-i-s.

    : )

  20. Kerouac says:

    PS
    Arian Foster just won the NFL rushing crwon – on his first carry of the game today: 57 yards to leave charles in the dust.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

  21. bschloz says:

    Settle Down The Poet
    Did you dress up as a Raider for this Marquee Match-up?.. .. Surely your aware nobody cares about this game today……All the real bidness was done last week..KC clinching a home play off game and SD shitting the shower in Cincy…..Get back to me next week. BTW I won my confidence pool this week…BADA BING!

    Craig….their all just jealous you type 90 words per minute. Keep them these blogs coming.

  22. Kerouac says:

    THE FINAL MIRAGE
    0-1 vs winning teams – they played only 1 all season long – and lost… 2-4 vs the mediocre 500 teams… 8-1 vs the winless and sub .500 tomato cans…

    Upshot: when they played teams with a pulse any: 2-5… comes now the post season.

    : )

  23. harley says:

    Wow glazer…the girl who called you “jackoff”….
    what the heck did you do to get this nutcase out of whack.
    I hope you don’t hang with this lunactic…she really has some marble
    missing. And the attack on your mom and dad was totally unwarranted!
    I told you…these young girls are like caged animals…they will turn on
    you in a second…i hope you don’t let this nutjob anywhere near you because
    she seems like the screwball and could do some damage to you.
    Wow…i havent seen a woman go off like that in years…..
    be careful….shes not playing with a full deck!

  24. kirby says:

    JoJo Must Want You Bad Glazer! Is He Gay?
    Craig happy new years. Sorry I haven’t seen you lately. As you know I am now a court reproter. YiPEE. Love it. Nice money. Hey this JoJo person must be in love with you Craig. Why else would he write all this hate mail over and over. JoJo person just go to Stanfords and ask Craig for an autograph. Bring you King Of Sting book and I’m sure he will sign it. I dated him, he is not a homo, so no luck there for you. Man you must stay up all night writing on this website. What do you do for a living? Do you have a job? Do you borrow someone elses computor, likely you can’t afford one. Oh, I am a real girl JoJo, my name is Maureen. You have seen my comments on this website before. I dated Craig, decent guy. Sorry he is what he says he is JoJo. You are not even a real person, just a phony name banging on Craig Glazer cause you are in love with him. I used to be myself. Craig call me and promise I will come up to club and see you guys.

  25. harley says:

    mAUREEN…..HEARNE CUT OUT THE LAST POST…
    if you hang out in bars…you’re a b ar fly…you’re a ho….plain and simple.
    I know who you are…and i know you have diseases that havent been
    named yet….
    stay cool…..

  26. harley says:

    maureen…
    you’re what my dad called a “floozy”…..and its not something to be proud of.

  27. harley says:

    maureen…
    you’re what my dad called a “floozy”…..and its not something to be proud of.

  28. robert says:

    Didn’t realize
    That Hearne chops out the really gritty comments….what a supreme puss!

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