Starbeams: Top 5 Reasons AFC Attendance Low

We win the AFC West and only 60,000 people turned out Arrowhead for the Titans game. The Chiefs blame it on low attendance across the league the day after Christmas.

TOP 5 OTHER REASONS ARROWHEAD WASN’T FULL:

5. Grandma only gave us ten bucks for Christmas.

4. Titans fans got lost because Rand McNally map uses big words.

3. Kansas City fans are all caught up in Royals mania.

2. After years of tailgating, the other 30,000 fans are too fat to fit in the stadium.

1. The Joel Osteen show ran late.

The Chiefs are sending 3 players to the pro-bowl. Dwayne Bowe, Jamaal Charles and Brian Waters all received the call on Tuesday. D-Bowe got so excited he dropped the phone

My latest euphemism for sex, courtesy of the Country Club Plaza: RUBBING THE WILD BOAR OF FLORENCE

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7 Responses to Starbeams: Top 5 Reasons AFC Attendance Low

  1. chuck says:

    3 of those are hilarious.
    Heh heh…

  2. max says:

    Kelly strikes again …
    ….please, hon, just step away from the keyboard.

    We know you mean well .. but please, PLEASE … STOP THE MADNESS…

    Hearne … HEARNE … PLEASE INTERVENE ! ! !

  3. Kerouac says:

    #1 REASON ARROWHEAD WASN’T FULL
    For the same reason the 1962 AFL Champion 11-3-0 Dallas Texans (’63 Chiefs) fans didn’t fill the Cotton Bowl for that season nor the two seasons before it: because of the 5-8-1 5th place NFL Cowboys.

    Really?

    Really.

    Doesn’t make sense.

    Sure it does/did.

    Whether 2010 or 1962, a tomato can schedule is a tomato can schedule.

    The economy? A miniscule raison more so red herring.

    The weather? Brrr! – it was cold too, and – gee… how many excuses must we create to make the truth seem a bit more palatable?

    Fact is, the AFL was a league of tomato cans 1962 compared the NFL same year… ditto for the NFL 2010 with few exceptions & in the case kcindy a woefully ‘thin’ schedule as one national pundit described it doesn’t result folks arriving in droves watch lackluster action.

    Who wants to watch a guy beat up his little sister ten times in 16 games – and in our case here kc, 8 home games and ALL OF THEM vs winless or sub .500 teams, just one vs a team even at .500?

    Watching kcindy play football in 2010 vs the JV teams they hosted is tantamount to partaking of what a movie tough guy once offered – “how about you give me $20, I’ll take you out in the alley & kick you in the nuts and we’ll call it even?”

    kcindy football 2010… that’s entertainment?

  4. Eric says:

    You’re special
    I’m glad that someone is nice enough to let you write for them.

  5. chuck says:

    Whaaaaa, Whaaaaaa Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    Call an WHaaambulance, Kerowhackoff’s Chargers choked. Come on dude, we know ya hate the Chiefs, but what happened to those Chokers….er……Chargers in Cincinatti??

    You are just bleedin out…..

    WHaaaaaaa!!! The Chiefs suck, here are the reasons, the Chiefs suck, they didnt play anyone blah blah blah…

    Hey everybody, look a t me, there are STILL more Chargers going to the pro bowl.

    Yeah, thats right, all across the fruited plain, Americans are lining up for tickets to the fuckin pro bowl and clearing out space on the couch to watch the pro bowl.

    The players dont even want to go, they always make lame excuses and don’t show up.

    Its a joke.

    Not as funny as the kitty cat pussy Chargers coughin up a fur ball against the 2nd to worst team in the NFL, but funny.

    WHaaaa!

    Brutal.

    I warned ya..

  6. Kerouac says:

    RAIDERS – ‘WITH CONVICTION”!
    The MIRAGE is in full force nee effect!

    FINAL SCORE: OAK 31 – kcindy ‘cries uncle’

    coach returns to pumpkin, wheels fall off the ‘fraudchise’, red-a**ed ‘rella won’t be able to sit dom for a week now – then next weekend – the same thing will happen again – heh heh heh heh heh!

    To chuckie cheese lowe, bs schnoz and mr. glazedover: A ‘VERY VERY’ HAPPY NEW YEAR fellers – you/kcindy LOSE!

    (PS) I’ll be sure to re-post this again Monday on the newer football related KCConfidential blogs!

    You know… for e-m-p-h-a-s-i-s.

    : )

  7. Kerouac says:

    THE FINAL MIRAGE
    0-1 vs winning teams – they played only 1 all season long – and lost… 2-4 vs the mediocre 500 teams… 8-1 vs the winless and sub .500 tomato cans…

    Upshot: when they played teams with a pulse any: 2-5… comes now the post season.

    : )

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