Hearne: The KC Confidential Holiday Wilding Giveaway

Ah, the fine art of something for nothing…

Who doesn’t like playing that game? Within reason, of course. So it is that KC Confidential will invite two readers to our holiday party Monday December 20th at Jardine‘s on the Plaza. That’s right, two of you guys.

The something for nothing aspect?

No biggie, but complimentary, ultra high-quality Jardine’s cuisine with be served. Along with, you know, potables. And the club’s’s always excellent, kick ass jazz musicians as entertainment. Sax man Steve Lambert, for example.

But attending this bash really isn’t about the freebies. It’s a chance to rub elbows with KCC’s (arguably) finest.

Attendees include Greg Hall, Tony Botello, Maria Juarez, Matthew Donnelly, Jim Fitzpatrick, Julius Karash, Tracy Thomas, Kelly Urich, Craig Glazer, Curtis Kitchen, Mark Edelman, Jennifer Janesko, Jack Poessiger, myself and more.

Other local celebs planning to be there include Wild Bill Nigro of Westport and the KC Strip, new KCFX FM honcho Bob Zuroweste and newly-minted KC Star columnist Steve Rose and wife Carol Rose editor of The Hills magazine.

And that’s just the early tip of this party iceberg.

A few questions may be answered that night as well. Such as, will Tony again stoop to past depths and unleash his hand jive on any unsuspecting parties? (Probably). Will Jason Whitlock crash the bash? (Told you it’s free – totally Jason).  Will Kelly Urich do a live Top Five reading from the stage. (Try stopping him). And will Maria and Craig (or Harley, or Chuck or whomever) finally hook up?

Here’s how to win.

Just tell us under your comments section identity that and why you’d like to attend. And that you will not inflict harm on any of the above named writers. And we’ll leave your totally phony name at the door. Or email me at hearne@kcconfidential.com.

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6 Responses to Hearne: The KC Confidential Holiday Wilding Giveaway

  1. Party Pro says:

    Oh Heck yes!
    This gang is party professionals!

  2. chuck says:

    Ya gotta take Harley!!
    I wanna hear everything after its over. Everything!! 🙂

  3. chuck says:

    On second thought, Maria might like a guy like me,
    Bald, 61, pot bellied alchoholic with anger issues. Its a seller’s market Maria!!! Heh, heh. Hope Harley goes and you guys all write about it. 🙂

  4. Paul says:

    i need Glazer pseudo celeb status!
    I’ve not been able to see this bloviating basket of bullshit admire himself up close and personal since he lived with Pauly Fredrocks.
    What better reason could there be?

  5. harley says:

    Hearne…are you kidding? A party without your favorite commentator? The one who drives the entire website
    nuts? Here’s why you need me.
    Jack: with that fake german accent you don’t need anymore nazis! I was born in America. No more
    germans need to attend.
    Maria: Maybe she too can go to Leather Liquidators and get a long leather coat on sale for $99.
    No doubt about it…this hot latina would be the life of the party with that leather over a sexy
    lingerie. But be careful…you need someone like me to actually keep the dogs in heat off her
    for the night. Imagine all these old guys watching this hot little number walking into jardines.
    You’ll need a defibrilator and emt’s to resucitate the old guys because their gonna need some
    help when they hit code blue. And since I rode with Johnson County MedAct for 3 years I need to
    be there to handle any emergencies.
    Glazer: I’ve said enough about my hero. Really…this guy is the promotional king. I’m surprised Time Magazine
    didn’t name him man of the year over some jewish schmuck on the computer. With him there…you’ll
    need lots of condoms…i mean dozens to handle this guy. Since I personally know the owners of
    Murray rubber company I can provide those free of charge. He’s been my target all year…but the chance
    to rub elbows with this guy is worth uh….well worth $5! nO seriously…this guy is 100% cool…and after taking
    all my abuse over the year…i gotta buy the guy a drink…coke or sprite. But with glazer there…you know one thing..
    the hottest…the most bodacious….the biggest titted….the nicest derier females are right behind him or
    under him!
    Greg Hall: the life of the party. this guy makes a lamp look exciting. but I can imagine him after a few
    cocktails taking on his previous life in nebraska and singing “I’ve got friend in low places”.
    For this guy…feed him nothing but swiss cheese and saurkraut and don’t stand behind him after 10pm.
    If you want to clear out the place at closing time…he’s your man. He can talk about the good old days bt
    you need someone to talk to him. He seems lonely. He watches too much football. but i imagine if you
    get a few drinks in the guy he comes out of his shell…like a snail…I guess….so you need me there
    because I know more about sportstthan this guy and can handle his trivia contest mind.
    Kelly Urich: the only guy with worse jokes than hearnes. NO LIE! Problem kelly has is that he’s so used to
    being adored by 13 and 14 year old girls during his radio show…that anyone over 16 is jut too old for this
    guy. I can help him and teach him how to attract older women (over 17) with lines that he used to use
    at oak park mall during his heyday. Hopefully its not an open mike night at jardines and kelly gets up and
    does a monologue and kill the entire evening.
    The rest of your staff ive never heard of…so they can stay in the kitchen…
    NOW HEARNE: I’ve attacked you for months…mostly trying to get you to end your hatred of the kc star.
    No luck! So if i was at a party with you I might talk you into hanging out at some new joints…maybe
    coming out to joco where theres no crime…and no whores. You need me there hearne because I can
    light up a party. I’m still funny…good looking (not as muchas glazer) but my hair is all mine LOL.
    So invite me to your party. I may have other plans but if I don’t I can bring an asian girl with large breasts
    and we’ll both wear our new fulll length leather coats.
    If im not invited…I’ll still show up because without all you guys…what fun would i have on the internet…
    constantly writing comments in between calls from clients and tracking everything.
    AS much as I hate to say it…and as muchas you hate to hear it…I love all of you (except for the nazi!)
    and wish you all a happy hanukkka/merry christmas/and happy newyear…and I have just one wish
    for my kcc santa…how about a pic of maria in a sexy elf costume………whooaaaaaaaa…that would make
    my christmas very merry…….take care…and be carefull driving home after all that booze (i lost a girlfriend to
    a drunk driver and know what thats all about)….take care…happy new year.

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