Tony: What Did We Learn This Past Week?

It was a surprisingly busy week for the holiday season.

Usually, most people spend December dreaming of their vacation time and bonuses. Thankfully, since so many people are out of work during Obama’s Jobless Recovery and the weather has yet to turn horrible, there’s still a great many interesting headlines floating around.

Let’s take a look:

Here are the headlines that defined the week. I’ve "Blind Linked" them so readers interested in clicking around the internet can see the evidence I’ve provided for my brilliant conclusions.

 The Kansas City Murder Rate Seems To Be Solved!!! Nevermind that this town will pass one homicides this week and so many politicos will celebrate a moderate decline on an upward trend. In 2009 there were 110 homicides. As of this writing there are 98.

Kansas City is still broke and The Great Recession is still on. I’m calling this The Season Of The Space Heater.

Democrat losers get a second chance. Susan Montee seems like a nice person but obviously the local donkey’s didn’t learn a lot from the shellacking they took last election from The Tea Party.

Sadly, hanging out with P&L District D-Bags is a safer alternative than other Kansas City nightlife. A high profile death turns out to be murder and reminds this town that killing one another is a tragic part of the way we party.

Strangely enough, right now The Chiefs are the best thing about Kansas City right now. I’m pretty sure this is a sign of the apocalypse. In fact, I’m right about that because a local billboard tells us that Jesus is coming back in May.

So, enjoy the Holiday Season, don’t be a Grinch and show a genuine interest in Kwanzaa and the latest trendy Hanukkah Tribute. Nobody expects the average Internet d-bag to stop the decline of Western Civilization, it’s enough to just try and learn something from it.

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