Starbeams: Charlie Sheen, Buried Pot, Tan Republicans NASA Bag Fees

The price of gold is pushing $1,400 an ounce. My broker, Charles Sheen, just bought a controlling interest in Goldschläger.

30 tons of pot was discovered in a deep tunnel on the US/Mexican border last week.
No wonder those Chilean miners were smiling when they emerged from the hole.

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The Republican Congress is already pumping up the economy. Since John Boehner became House speaker-elect, there’s been a wait nationwide to get in a tanning bed.

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NASA had to scrub last week’s shuttle launch. Due to budget cuts, the pilots are upset about the luggage fees.
 

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