Glazer: Bowe Sucks, Needs to Put Down the Green

Time to tell it like it is…

Fumbled fingered Chiefs receiver Dwayne Bowe needs to stop smoking so he can stop choking.

We all know the Chiefs are a decent if not good football team now. We also know that Matt Cassel has been awful and is not getting any better. We have now seen him stink for one entire season and the first third of this one. We also know that our wide receivers are not very good. In fact pretty bad.

Here’s the word from very strong inside sources: D-Bowe is big with the bud.

Smokes a ton of weed. So do many NFL players, he’s not alone.

However the scoop I have from a source extremely close to Bowe is he smokes right up until game time.

Like getting out of the car to go into the stadium he’s still suckin in the green monster smoke. Not too smart, especially when you are dropping half of the passes sent your way. It slows you down, and likely he forgets routes. I have noticed that he is often blocking for the backs and receivers when he can.

And yesterday’s drops were, well, unreal.

Jim Rome pointed out that the Chiefs would be a top notch team if Matt and Bowe were decent. They aren’t.

So then you say, “Come on Craig, don’t they drug test players for pot?”

The word is NO.

Yes, they test for enhancement drugs, like HGH and coke/speed, but word is not so much with weed. Why? Cause pot stays in your system for days and too many players smoke weed each week. That is a well known fact. They just do. Not too many smoke on game day though.

If this is true regarding Bowe, and it looks very likely based on his continued poor performance, it is also likely the higher ups know about it. Hard to single him out, when other players are getting high early in the week as well, but not day of game. Because it would still show up in their drug tests too.

We couldn’t field a team if all players got checked for the green.
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32 Responses to Glazer: Bowe Sucks, Needs to Put Down the Green

  1. Anonymous says:

    The Independent Rage
    If he’s actually puffing on the tree on gamedays, that is (literally) one toke over the line.

  2. Anonymous says:

    this makes total sense. What a jerk. He is horrible.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Cato the elder
    People who smoke grass in their houses shouldn’t throw stoned. Or catch stoned, either. Straighten up and fly right, dumbass.

  4. Anonymous says:

    The Independent Rage
    As a person who myself freely uses (in Internet writing) incomplete sentences, run-on sentences, split infinitives, sentences ending with prepositions, etc., I have no problem with Hearne’s writing style. He’s trying to be conversational. He’s not turning in term papers.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Turd McDurgle
    Nice one Glazer. I agree totally. Any HALFWAY decent QB would have thrown a couple TD passes yesterday in that game and any half-ass receiver would have mde those catches.

    Said thing for the Chiefs is that if Cassell goes down we have Croyle as a back up. Croyle gets injured watching the replays on the Jumbotron when he is watching on the sidelines…

    Which again begs the question; the Chiefs didn’t draft a QB in the last draft because of what again?

  6. Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the coaching, guys. Independent Rage has it figured. I try to write in a conversational style. However, this is Craig Glazer’s column, remember? And that’s pretty much exactly what he’s doing, too.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Remember how much weed DT smoked. Maybe he just smoked during the off season?

  8. Anonymous says:

    That explains the Bowe problem, not suprised. These guys have no education, get the big bucks and then let everyone down with off the field crap like this. Hey its ok to blow some smoke but not on the day of a game. He should be punished.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I’m a bit suprised that the front office puts up with this stuff. Considering how poorly Bowe plays. I doubt he will be a Chief much longer. Take Fat Matt with you.

  10. Anonymous says:

    He probably does other drugs too.

  11. Anonymous says:

    re: he’s a Bud man, i.e., “it slows you down”

    – must be contagious; ever heard the chiefs ‘head’ coach channel comedian steven wright? Listen to any his kc press conferences…

    Colts win, Kerouac nails another prediction

    Manning: outmaneuvers crennel & kc d ?
    charles: still shares hands with bowe ?
    ca$$el: $63 mill question answered; refund due ?

  12. Anonymous says:

    “Croyle gets injured watching the replays on the Jumbotron.”

    Funny stuff. I heard this too…

    “Bowe can’t catch, if my fuckin house was on fire, I wouldn’t throw him my kids.”

    Heh heh.

  13. Anonymous says:

    Thats very funny Chuck

  14. Anonymous says:

    If Bowe got left by the team in Indy there is no way he could get home.

    He couldn’t even catch a cab…

    Ba dumm dumm

  15. Anonymous says:

    Preacher checks into a motel and says to the counter guy, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.”

    The counter guy says, “No you sick fuck, its just normal porn.”

    OK, OK, off subject, but my favorite joke.


  16. Anonymous says:

    Awesome, Chuck! I bet I steal that one and tell it 10 times this week…

  17. Anonymous says:

    Gentlemen, gentlemen…

  18. Anonymous says:

    Oh snap! Did I confuse Glazer w/ Hearne?? Wow.

    Yo Hearne, this goes to show how great your writing has become when someone confuses it with the “writing” of Glazer.

    No, but seriously, you should delete this comment before it muddies your shoes.
    HC: My shoes are already muddled, thanks Hon

  19. Anonymous says:

    Am I the only one who wasn’t impressed with the Chiefs preformence last night? The offence STILL stinks. And yes, they have a good D, but Indy I think had an off night, but when they had too they scored on this team.

    Everyone thinks the Chiefs can win in Houston. I think the Texans will destroy Kansas City the way people thought Indy would destroy the Chiefs.

    Scott Egoli, please draft a QB in the first round this next draft.

    BTW, so far Berry=BUST!!!!!

  20. Anonymous says:

    Didn’t get to watch game yesterday…Chiefs 3-1 the rest of the West 2-3. Anybody who thinks they can handicap NFL is full of shit. If you picked “random” the last 3 weeks… you most likely won your pool.
    As far as Bowe…don’t care if he is drunk or stoned…point is can he catch it or not in NFL. I’ll Let Turner Gill worry about abstinence, and the twitter.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Why hasn’t Black Barbie voiced an opinion? She usually does, not that anyone cares…. actually most don’t. Must be a busy day on the stripper pole

  22. Anonymous says:

    Too much hippie lettuce makes Dwayne a slow Bowe.

  23. Anonymous says:

    Craig said “Yes, they test for enhancement drugs, like HGH and coke/speed, but word is not so much with weed.”

    Really? I think Santonio Holmes from the J.E.T.S Jets Jets Jets just finished serving a 4 game suspension for smoking left handed cigs.

  24. Anonymous says:

    The players union specifically demanded no pot testing in the current labor agreement. Too many bumps and bruises and nicks and dents. Sometimes aspirin is not enough.

    For a QB that sucks, Cassel is 3-1, has thrown fewer picks than everyone in the league (except Manning and Brady), has been sacked 3 times (least in the league) and has not fumbled once. Remember last year?

    And no one is looking at the big elephant in the room…those damn pink gloves and shoes…. nuff said.

  25. Anonymous says:

    get off my back.

  26. Anonymous says:

    The NBA and NFL both test for marijuana, cocaine and other narcotics. MLB prohibits those, as well, but only regularly tests for steroids.

    But for the vast majority of players, unless there is reasonable cause, the collective bargaining agreement mandates no testing for the likes of cocaine, marijuana, amphetamine, opiates (morphine and codeine) and phencyclidine (PCP) until April.

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  32. pellboy says:

    Tyson Jackson
    Maybe we need a column bashing him. This one seemed to work wonders for the supposedly awful Bowe. Stick to comedy, Craig because it’s clear you don’t know football.

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