Glazer: How a Smoking Hot, Chlorine-Scented Teen Vixen Ruined My Life

When men sleep with lots of ladies they’re considered players or cool – its a good thing…

Women who sleep around are not given the same respect. They’re called whores, skanks, loose, cheap, nothing good. Unless you’re a Hollywood hottie like Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton. Then its kinda OK.

It’s not fair.

Like Holly Starr told me, “Guys are only as loyal as their options.”

Very true and that ends with marriage and aging. Except for a chosen few, like me. Then it’s not until you are dead or close to it!
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41 Responses to Glazer: How a Smoking Hot, Chlorine-Scented Teen Vixen Ruined My Life

  1. Anonymous says:

    jojo
    wtf is this about? Maybe you should try
    not being such a player. Women hate that and
    they can tell you’re one from a mile away.
    The young ones only want you for some free
    drinks or to keep them entertained til they
    find someone their own age.
    And the mooches want you to be their “sponsor”.
    Knew the deesons….their dad was a builder
    in johnson county. is that right?

  2. Anonymous says:

    chuck
    W. Somerset Glazer’s “Of Human Bondage” (With, probably, some actual bondage.).

    Kinda makes me wanna go rent “St. Elmo’s Fire”.

    I like the “Let it all hang out” stories.

    Enjoyed it.

  3. Anonymous says:

    smartman
    Work this out in therapy.

    A man must be a better lover to please one woman over many years than to please many women over that same time. My wife is 48, still hot and sexy, and we have sex like we’re back in high school. Wouldn’t trade it for the world!

    Up until I was 30 I’d be up any chick like a rat up a drainpipe. But then one day you wake up, grow up and finally understand what it means to be a man, a gentleman, as it relates to relationships.with the opposite sex.

    As Randy Pausch says in The Last Lecture, until someone else’s happiness is more important than your own you will never ever have a meaningful relationship much less a successful marriage.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Robertoe
    Craig,
    Well done. We’re about the same vintage but I was Missouri side and Southwest. My only ex lived at Georgetown with my daughter when we split up. Really enjoyed it. In fact now I’m gonna go get your book.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Eric
    Craig,
    Really enjoyed that article. Reminded me alot of myself and how a broken heart as a teenager and lots of rejection from other women led me to be a complete womanizing bastard for decades. To this day I still struggle with monogamy cause I’m always out to conquer (screw) every halfway attractive woman I see. All in some sort futile subconscious effort to regain all the self esteem and assuage the hurt feelings I had so many years ago.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Cliffy
    Like many here, I had a similar experience. I remember nearly breaking down in tears one day while listening to McCartney sing “Yesterday.” Ha … what a memory. Signed: Happily Married For 30+.

  7. Anonymous says:

    kidcongo
    Cool story.

  8. Anonymous says:

    The Shawnster
    Wow. What a bunch of self indulgent tripe. Another pathetic attempt by Glazer to portray himself as a ladies’ man. I particulary enjoyed how he higlighted the passage “Yes, I slept with hundreds of women between and after them.” as if he was trying to convince himself it was so. Glazer reminds me of that nerd in high school who also claimed to sleep with “tons of girls that you don’t know.” In my experience, he who brags about it, is not getting it. Thanks for comedy!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Warners
    My God Glazer, write a book on this kind of thing. Amazing, you can tell a great story my friend, I shed a tear at the end for you. Me too, reminded me of my life somewhat. Thank you.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Ptolemy
    What sad existence. Makes me glad I’m not a player. There’s much, much more to the science of human interaction when you view women as sentient beings rather than friction holsters.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Turd McDurgle
    Awesome Craig. Totally fucking awesome. Rad.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Robertoe
    “Work this out in therapy”

    Therapy, my ass. This is classic human psychology.

    Freud thought if everyone went through the proper therapy we can all fit into society with our beige Johnson Co homes, our obedient jobs and til-death-do-we-part wives.

    His smarter protege, C.G. Jung said no no no. Trying to fit into societies mold on how we are supposed to behave will be the absolute undoing for many of us. Live! Follow your bliss! Follow ur intuition! And for Craig this is NOT the suburban wife and what you deem as conventional existence.

    For all you guys that are happy with long term marriages. Great! I’m happy for you. But dont expect everyone to conform to your ideals and dictates.

    Just watch the news and all the scandals unfolding on a regular basis. Its guys and gals trying to suppress their true nature and conform to someone else’s societal dictates. It doesn’t work! It comes out in other ugly directions.

  13. Anonymous says:

    Steve
    Hendrix pretty much summed it up.

    “You know you’re a cute little heart breaker
    Foxy”

  14. Anonymous says:

    Brian
    good stuff!

  15. Anonymous says:

    KCMO staffer
    Craig, makes me think a couple things. First this would be a wonderful national magazine article. Your style is quick and easy, but it has much substance. Second, reading this makes me want to both meet you and at the same time understand why you are different from most, yet in many ways all of us. Keep up the fine work.

  16. Anonymous says:

    MGarr
    Mr. Glazer, my gosh, sounded like something that happened to me when I was about 18 years old. The girl, school, even the music at that time. Made me get a bit teary eyed myself. Read it twice, hope to meet you one day.

  17. Anonymous says:

    DowntownDavy
    Do not agree with you on Westport comeback. Do agree with all the kind words about this story Craig. Its top notch, you are not so bad afterall.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Tony 4 Mayor
    Man, awesome story, this reminds me of when I used to stay up all night reading myfirsttime.com

  19. Anonymous says:

    jweinberg
    Shawnster, there is always a hater in the bunch when it comes to my man Craig Glazer. Hate to break it to you Shawn, but I went to East with Craig, met Mary Nootz. In my opinion he is understating his sex life, the guy had then and now great looking women, he just did. To his credit, he really doesn’t brag about, cause like you said, he didn’t have too. Its just part of this story and though it may shock you, the guys on the level. You should know that by what he does now Shawnster person.

    Craig sweet but sad tale. Find a nice girl and move on my friend. She’s out there.

  20. Anonymous says:

    Rob Lane
    Well put Joel, I think that is you, am I right?
    Went to East as well, a little older than Glazer, he is the real deal Shawnster, I know, saw it myself. Guy’s got that something. Not really a bragger either, sometimes seems that way in a tale. By the way, guy was never a nerd, I was, he wasn’t, used to stick up for some of us lesser tough guys too. Like me, back then. If you met the man Shawnster, I believe you might see it different. Too much on that.

    Craig I thought it was Stan that made you crazy all this time. My bad.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Dino
    You write some fine stuff Glazer. I check on this blog to see this kind of writing. Love it, just love the hell outa of a story that makes you feel something. Good job. Screw that Shawneester guy.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Maureen
    Shawnster, the guy’s hot, I f’d him many times, I’m in my early 30’s and I’m a dish myself. I agree with some guys on this site that knew Glazer, he likely jumped a couple thousand girls, they just like him. I did.

    Craig why was I not mentioned as one of the favorite ladies in your life? I know it was too short a time with each other. Hope all is well,you never told me this story, makes me feel for you a bit. I know there is a good guy in there just waiting to come out and play. Don’t get so down on yourself, you’ve done so much with your life.

    Call me and we can meet for a drink, I’ll be good.

  23. Anonymous says:

    informed
    Gosh Craig… I almost liked you there for a sec… Almost… What year did you graduate from East?

  24. Anonymous says:

    Black Barbie
    Man, you didn’t bring me up Craig. We had a good time for nearly a year. That was a nice story Craig. Guess you aren’t so bad. I’m still working. Maybe I will come up to the comedy club one night and suprise your ass.

  25. Anonymous says:

    KellysGuy
    Aw, poor baby. Read your mean story on our bar in Westport. The new patio is always busy. How do you know about it, your not down here much.

    All these fools think you are something, not me. Wish I knew you in high school so I coulda kicked your butt.

  26. Anonymous says:

    Michael
    How about email contacts for the writers to receive story ideas? Or submit questions?

  27. Anonymous says:

    Susan Dunlap
    Just loved this ate it up, ate it up. Man did that one hit home. I almost forgive you for being a sleep around whore Craig. Looked you up on Facebook, yes you are a handsome man, you are. I am much younger than you and after I read this, I just kinda wanted to hold you or maybe the story, not sure.

    Great story, enjoyed the ending very much.

  28. Anonymous says:

    Duke
    So who nailed the most trim in this town. Tommy Morrison, George Brett, or Glazer?

  29. Anonymous says:

    c
    Yawn. Self indulgent tripe, definitely. “Poor Craig, can’t find himself a good woman.” Try being a decent man. It takes a REAL man to please ONE woman all his life, than a LOT of women.

  30. Anonymous says:

    mermaid
    My heart is broken. I guess I’m not on the list. I am crying right now!

  31. Anonymous says:

    bschloz
    Good blast—Man I’ll bet Stan had some kind of Bachelors Pad.,musk oil,bear-rug,booze,gross of rubbers? Hundreds? Are you trying to catch Wilt?

  32. Anonymous says:

    Susan Dunlap
    Mermaid I didn’t make it either.

  33. Anonymous says:

    SimonSays
    Glazer, you are a great writer with major league tight stories. I love your work. As for the haters, please, can you dig this kind of story out, I doubt it. Don’t stop.

  34. Anonymous says:

    craig glazer
    Glad you guys liked the tale. It was nice to visit the past on this one. No idea where Mary Nootz is today, happy I hope.

    Mermaid you were one of the best ladies as well, we just didn’t have the OFFICIAL boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, it was a sneaky one, but you are a good person and a good friend.

    Duke here’s the lineup….KC winner, based on numbers for the time he lived in KC if Tommy Morrison, that guy had them climbing all over him and they didn’t know he was Heavy Weight Champ…that was then, saw Tommy at 98.9 last year, just not the same guy, we were friends, liked him….Next, Me…George was not the big numbers guy with the girls back in the day and got married in his 30’s…I see him around, one of the best all-time KC sports legends, no doubt, he hung at Stanfords in the 70’s/80’s.

    Talk soon ya’all. Enjoy the game Monday.

  35. Anonymous says:

    craig glazer
    P.S. bscholz, you are a card. And very smart, if ever you see me, please come up and say hi.

  36. Anonymous says:

    WestportPatron
    You just don’t hear or see anything about LSD anymore. Guess they won the WAR ON Drugs! Nah.

  37. Anonymous says:

    d
    Did you share with Tommy Morrison? Wasn’t he the one with AIDS?? HIV??? Nice. Very nice.

  38. Anonymous says:

    Mark Kind
    Don’t that got Kansas City written all over it.

  39. Anonymous says:

    craig glazer
    I hung out with Tommy back in the day, liked him, but no we did not share women. So I am a healthy boy.

  40. Anonymous says:

    hearne
    Glad we finally got that out of the way two months in. There you have it, clean bill of health for Craig

  41. Anonymous says:

    Jawhawk fan
    Damn good article there. Laughed my ass off at what Holly Starr said. True though. Smart chick.

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