Tony: More Reasons for Kansas City to Keep “It” Under Wraps

Yesterday the KCMO Health Department put out a presser that provides both good and bad news.

The media notice was an effort to inform folks about greater options for STD testing at the Kansas City Health Department. This is welcomed information because it provides greater access to Healthcare and increased efficiency.

However, it’s also a bad sign because it reveals that so many nasty STDs still lurk in and around Kansas City and the current healthcare system is adjusting in order to meet the obviously increased demand.

Let’s take a look at the copy.

From KCMO:

New walk-in STD clinic option at the Health Department

To improve patient wait time at the Sexually Transmitted Disease Clinic, the City of Kansas City, Mo., Health Department has implemented a new walk-in STD testing clinic. During regular clinic hours, those without symptoms or known exposure to an STD, who seek testing only, can walk into the clinic and be tested. Testing for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia is available, with results available in seven to 10 business days.

Those with symptoms or with known exposure must schedule an appointment at 816-513-6379 during regular clinic hours Monday through Friday. A limited number of appointments will be held open to accommodate those unable to schedule an appointment in advance.

“In response to feedback we have received from the public about lengthy wait times at the STD clinic, we are developing a new process that will allow us to see patients in a more timely manner,” said Ron Griffin, manager of the Communicable Disease Prevention and Public Health Preparedness division. “We are always working to improve the experience for those using our clinics.”

The clinic wait-time has been an area of improvement for the STD clinic during the last five years. In 2005, a patient at the clinic could expect to be at the clinic for more than four hours. In January through May of 2010, the average visit time was 51 minutes.

“With this new process, clients seeking testing only should be able to get in and out of the clinic in less than 45 minutes,” Griffin said.

To check on clinic hours, call 816-513-6117. Information on STDs can be found on the Health Department’s Web page.
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I wanted to note this information not only because it’s important but also because it busts the implied myths propagated by so many local folks in the entertainment industry that their destinations are consequence-free environments e.g. Herpes doesn’t stay in Vegas. Furthermore, there’s also a perpetual myth that so many middle-class folks can venture into KC Proper and throw caution to the wind. Obviously, that has even been the case.

Also, watching shows like The Jersey Shore I’m always surprised how causally people its characters “smoosh” and make out, but I never hear anything about somebody coming down with gonorrhea of the tonsils. The frequency of these televised make-out shows makes it a near forgone conclusion.

Seriously, for a small city that wants to make a name for itself as a party town I never hear much about safety and that’s a shame. Adult decisions have adult consequences in Kansas City. These facts have not changed just because elected officials don’t care about the aftermath of their decisions and have decided to throw money at party districts, silly trolley experiments and other good times on the taxpayers credit card.

Finally, since nobody ever has or will want a random hookup with me, I figure it’s just another way to me feel just a tad better and safe about my near celibacy that’s not at all voluntary.

Tony Botello

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One Response to Tony: More Reasons for Kansas City to Keep “It” Under Wraps

  1. Anonymous says:

    Bob v.
    Hey guys, think with the bigger head!

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