Tony: Only Kansas City Could Ruin Ice Cream

I want to share a quick Summertime thought…

Because it speaks to the way hipsters and local middle-class pretensions can ruin something intrinsically good.

Ice Cream is one of the last simple pleasures our society allows. Yeah, it’s bad for us, but for the most part most people don’t go around eating Ice Cream all the time. So as an indulgence it’s accepted. Hey, even fat women are allowed to enjoy ice cream from time to time without feeling too much shame or enduring much scorn (from me).

Unfortunately, Kansas City is at the epicenter for meaningless competition among the petty bourgeois. And in the war of “one-upmanship” and “Keeping up with the Jonses,'” local merchants have mercilessly transformed the simple ice cream cone into a casualty in their battle to court customers.

For most folks, getting an ice cream cone with the family was the foundation of almost every wonderful childhood memory. However, local hipsters have arrived on the local “ice cream scene” in order to start what is essentially a class war.

For instance, Glac

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18 Responses to Tony: Only Kansas City Could Ruin Ice Cream

  1. Anonymous says:

    Good grief.
    Your rampant dose of recent negativism is wearing thin, man.

    Do what I do….hit up a DQ or a Sheridan’s. I find both to be extremely tasty, and incredibly affordable. It gives me a good feeling every time I sink my spoon into a Blizzard or a Concrete.

  2. Anonymous says:

    bob
    Unfortunately my last couple trips to DQ have left me wanting more. Not more ice cream, more quality. What happened? They used to be so good.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Peter Putz
    DO YOU EVER LIKE ANYTHING?

  4. Anonymous says:

    bschloz
    We will always pay up for quality. Why pan Elbow the guy seems like the real deal to me.
    Whats the big newsflash…you know you can go to The All-u-Can Eat China Buffet and get a yummy softserv treat for desert @$6.99 now how can you beat it…knock yourself out.

  5. Anonymous says:

    gordon
    So you havent had glace but you say Murrays taste better? and what is glace’s marketing tactics you can’t stand? It appears to me they opened the door and people started buying it. glace, DQ, Murrays, peachwave etc etc you spend the same at every place, its the product thats different. Once again you have your foot in your mouth and your head in your ass. get out of your mom’s basement and live a little.

  6. Anonymous says:

    gsp
    no shit, give credit where due, elbow has been schlepping in the crossroads for a long time without asking for squat, why give him grief for success in a more visible location..

  7. Anonymous says:

    Randy Bobandy
    It’s called Gelato. If you have ever traveled to Italy, you would know it is very popular there. It is a staple of any tourist who goes to the country.

    It’s the latest in a long line of food trends popularized in the US after Americans discover them overseas.

    This includes: Chinese food, Sushi, french ‘continental’ cuisine, Thai/’pan-asian’,

    These include:

  8. Anonymous says:

    Duh
    Yawn

  9. Anonymous says:

    bob sacamano
    Geez Tony, you sound like a typical liberal. It’s not my fault that you’re too lazy to get off your ass and get a real job. Instead, you try to knock people that get off their ass and work. Let us enjoy the spoils of our work.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Rainbow Man
    Chris Elbow could open a firearm range in a dog park and the liberal sophisticates of KC would give him an invented award and put him on the cover of Ingram’s. They would make sure that Danny O’Neill, The Boulevard crew, and Mike Haverty would be there to take a photo in front of the Liberty Memorial, and they would all go celebrate at Bluestem.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Dexter Morgan
    He sounds just like your typical simpleton Kansas Citian he tries to pretend he’s better than. Whining about fancy ice cream? What a pussy. Only a stupid chunky Mexican like Botello could fuck up something as simple as a blog about ice cream.

  12. Anonymous says:

    if only…
    T
    Please accept this apology on behalf of all bathers and people who wear shirts with collars. After a long day of driving around Kansas City and screaming obscenities from your vehicle (I always wondered who that was), you must be parched.
    Soooo, I yanked some vintage orange sherbet from the back of the fridge for your salty, forked tongue. (Note: Use a sturdy spoon to break the protective layer.) You will find it in Hearne’s front yard when you pick up your weekly allowance.

  13. Anonymous says:

    Chip
    Hey guys, I understand Tony makes you a little upset, so I went ahead and got an advance copy of his next 200 posts and summarized them in one paragraph so you can read this and forget about him for a while. Here you go:

    FAIL kansas city FAIL white People Fail Racist FAIL women are overweight FAIL this cowtown Failing at white WOMEN Natch KC stays failing gully FAIL fail I hate myself so much NATCH

  14. Anonymous says:

    Duh
    @ Chip – That’s hilarious!

  15. Anonymous says:

    get over it
    You’ve actually run out of things to hate about KC that you’re now going after a locally owned ice cream shop?

  16. Anonymous says:

    Latina Feline
    Could this possibly be the stupidest article you have written yet? You seriously are bashing a locally owned company, that incorporates locally grown ingredients?!?!? Why don’t you move? If you hate KC so much I don’t understand why you live here!

  17. Anonymous says:

    Jimmie Jamm
    Tony Dead on brother! These places will be out of biz in two years. off to get a DQ dip cone.

  18. Anonymous says:

    brent anderson
    “I

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