According to a story in today’s HOLLYWOOD REPORTER, Paul Reubens—better known as Pee Wee Herman—has told PLAYBOY that he is innocent of the 1991 charges claiming that he was caught masturbating in a Florida theater. 
You’ve got to love his reasoning!
“Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the MASTERS AND JOHNSON institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation, the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her nondominant hand,” Reubens told Playboy.
“I am right-handed and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there—proof it couldn’t have been me,” he added.
Hey, for what it’s worth – as a fellow right hander –
Lend a hand
but…. but…. if you use the other hand you can pretend it is someone else doing you a favor, that is what I have heard anyway ; )
bschloz
Left Or Right?..I just hope he didn’t use his toothbrush.
gene
Pwee-Wee’s right handed. C Glazer’s probably left handed. The perfect combination for a circle jerk.
Mr. Hand
What are you, on dope? I’m a right-hander that jerks off with the left.