Tony: Local Places Where Douches Shop

I’m not sure if you d-bags were aware but Imagery in Westport is now open once again. Overall this is good news for the local economy and the struggling old school party district. However, it’s also just another hangout for local d-bags with enough money to pay retail.

These local boutiques are the lifeblood of the local fashion and art scene but it takes a discerning eye to distinguish their wares from any other vendor. In fact, it always seems to me that the kind of clothes available at these places need to be ironed.

Still, I’m in a quandary because I think local, homegrown small businesses deserve support. On the other hand I don’t have the kind of money to shop at these stores and think the people who do represent everything that’s wrong with American capitalism. Still, it’s important to come to a conclusion regarding these local merchants.

For the record, my wardrobe consists mostly of freebie t-shirts and some form of pants and/or shorts purchased from a box store discount retailer and worn until they disintegrate. So, fashion isn’t my area of expertise and I’m pretty sure it’s all a scam invented by out of work art school students. Also, given the current age of austerity brought on by ongoing Age of Austerity, anybody who pays more than 50 bucks for a casual shirt probably needs to be attacked by a group of hungry armadillos.

Still, for those who have the cash, places like Imagery will never lose their appeal and even offer a way to support this town indirectly. And on the bright side, no amount of financial hardship will rid this town of so many overly sensitive douche bags. So it’s nice to be able to spot them wearing similar clothes.

Tony Botello

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10 Responses to Tony: Local Places Where Douches Shop

  1. Anonymous says:

    Every so often I like to walk around Oak Park Mall,there is something truly Americana about these monster centers. Took a walk there this week, there’s not one thing in that place that anyone really needs. Still the place is fun like a carnival,with a Foot Locker.
    We lead in financial engineering…high octane credit transactions..have a 40 hour job,pay your bills to some degree and you can play.
    Our export..Swagger..Madison Ave..Visa..Toy Story. Our motto “A Jetski in every driveway”

  2. Anonymous says:

    I went to Oak Park this week and I noticed I was the ONLY American in a 90 ft radius. There were Russians Indians Chinese you name it. I had to wonder my god when did all these people move to KC. The new mall will be at 135 and Metcalf. Oak Park is turning into a place I don’t want to be. Next time you go look around and you won’t be able to argue this point. It’s almost creepy.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Just the fact that you wear freebie tshirts and box store pants make you more of a loser than someone that shops in that store. Really? That’s your fashion? What if everyone took your fashion sense? No wonder everybody thinks we’re hicks. You cut your hair with a spoon too? Let me guess you wear running shoes with everything. May you get strangled by a skinny tie.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Sorry, Tony, that you haven’t succeeded enough in life to “pay retail”. Because everyone that has worked hard and made some money must be a d-bag, right? Everything “wrong with capitalism”? That they succeed and create wealth allows you to exist on the freebies they cast off.

    Having it your way, we’d all be wearing freebie t-shirts from Dear Leader.

  5. Anonymous says:

    I like KC
    I never know which sentences should be taken seriously with Tony.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Johnny P
    I was down in Westport Friday night, on the patio at Kellys. It was kinda cool actually.

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